View Full Version : What would you do?
03-12-2006, 11:50 AM
Have a question for you. Ellen will be three in July and I nursed her until she was two.
Her little "odd" behavior is "rub you" where she wants to rub my arms, belly, anything as long as it's skin. She will run her little hands up the sleeves of my shirt to "rub you."
She co-sleeps and in the morning when she "rub you" she will occasionally graze my breast.
On the one hand...she nursed for two years where she was allowed access. Now, it just feels creepy for her to want to rub the "nursins."
What do you think?
03-12-2006, 12:10 PM
Awww. I think it's really sweet! Although I can understand how it might be strange for you. Can you get her a comfort silky for mornings? Or would she not be interested?
mom to one and one on the way!
"And children are always a good thing, devoutly to be wished for and fiercely to be fought for."
03-12-2006, 12:43 PM
I know a lot of toddlers/preschool age children like to rub their mom's or grandma's bodies--this is true of many children who didn't nurse very long.
DS is still nursing. If he just grazes my boob, it doesn't bother me. I think toddlers are just exploring with touch. If he tries to play with my nipple, I tell him, "Those are mommy's. They're not for playing."
I think it's important to teach our DCs to respect their bodies and also to respect other people's bodies (by respecting the boundaries they set for how and when they want to be touched). This is why we only tickle DS if he asks us to, and we stop when he asks us to.
03-12-2006, 12:56 PM
Very well put. I agree with what you've said.
03-12-2006, 01:23 PM
I was just reading about something similar. Ellen is the a bit younger than Brig, but he has just started taking interest in my body and his own body as well. I think at this age children are just becoming aware of their bodies and don't know boundaries yet. I've talked to Brig about appropriate touches, etc. at this point because the situation seemed to lend itself to that talk.
03-12-2006, 01:51 PM
DS does this as a comfort thing, and fairly often. Usually it's after bathtime and when he's just woken up. I don't do anything about it unless he starts to make a game of it, which he has been doing a lot lately. In any case, I tell him that Mummy's boobies are not for playing games, they are for Mommy, and that it's bad manners for him to play with them without asking, and ask him to stop. If he asks to play with them (it has happened only 1x so far), I say "no thank you" and leave it at that. DS also likes touching DH's chest, and DH says the same thing as I do (nothing like hearing "Daddy's boobies are for Daddy" first thing in the morning for a good laugh ;) ).
We do a lot of talking about good manners nowadays, so this tactic seems to work.
03-12-2006, 03:29 PM
Matthew hsd s thing about rubbing my belly. When he is tired, sick, in need of attention or just wants some one on one time, he will cuddle up to me, attempt to pull up my shirt and lie on my belly, with one hand rubbing my belly and the other with his thumb in his mouth. He has tried to rub my breasts and that led us to a conversation about appropriate touches, etc... He nursed for 13 months.
03-12-2006, 03:34 PM
03-12-2006, 05:22 PM
I never thought to take it as an opportunity to discuss good touch, bad touch.
It's only in the morning when she does it, when we are all cuddly. Still, it makes me uncomfortable, so we will start the good touch, bad touch talk tonight!
03-12-2006, 05:59 PM
schuyler also likes to put his face on my bare stomach. "snuggle your tummy" started when i was pregnant. he knows that breasts are "dylan's milk" so he doesn't really mess with them. dylan doesn't either- when he wants to nurse, he just flips sideways and shrieks. (not so pleasant...)
but my point... for stuff like that (your original post) we say, "mommy doesn't like that."
03-13-2006, 12:31 AM
DD is also 3, and nursed for 2 years. She does the exact same thing. I let her touch them. If she starts pulling my nipples I tell her "I don't like that", which is what they taught her in day care to say when someone, say, is pushing her or something, so it is her lingo. She will stop when I say that. I guess the nipple thing is MY boundary, but it could be different for you.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.1 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.