View Full Version : Introduction
09-08-2003, 05:59 PM
Hello! Time to get this forum moving.
I'm Kimberly, DTC 3/31/03 with CCAI, waiting for our baby girl from China.
October/November'02 referrals are being received right now and the big question...will December/January referrals come together or will the CCAA go to one month at a time at this point?
09-08-2003, 09:19 PM
Kimberly...this is alot to ask but I'd love to hear about your adoption experience..why you chose the agency you did etc...and any frustrations or great news from it. I have two things that I have always felt I'd do...
1. I have had a strong feeling that I'd be an organ donator or bone marrow donator ...
2. more recently (and not so strong-but a feeling) that I'd adopt two children from Russia (or area)...
That feeling is getting stronger and stronger and my interest are so peaked...i jsut know I'd go crazy if I fell in loe with a child and they kept the baby from me...I swear I'd go postal. do you feel up to sharing any info????
09-09-2003, 11:59 AM
Hi! I have a 2 1/2 year old adopted from Guatemala. We would like to start on our second adoption before our 13 year old gets any older! We would have liked Guatemala again but the country is in chaos right now so we are thinking of China. Anyone have any opinions on agencies?
09-09-2003, 03:26 PM
We leave Thursday to vacation with dear friends who have adopted a little girl from Guatemala. She is 18 months old and adorable :)...
09-09-2003, 05:31 PM
Oh, man, Neve, I better plan to be in NC for more than one day. We have more in common than you can imagine! Warn Steve that he won't get a word in edgewise!
09-09-2003, 08:33 PM
I'm Bonnie and Stephen is my miracle. He came home to us 2 days old. He's now 5 1/2 months old and the light of my life. He just started sitting on his own.
I'm not sure if this link will work.
Bonnie & Stephen 3.26.03 (domestic, newborn, agency adoption)
09-09-2003, 09:54 PM
Hi - I'm Holly, also adopting from China, DTC (dossier to china - all the paperwork in case anyone doesn't know the abbreviations) 8/15/03.
We still have a long wait to go.
09-09-2003, 10:34 PM
Our second child, Mariah, was adopted from Russia. She was almost 5 years old when she came home. We found her photolisting on the internet and the adoption took 4 months from start to finish. We adopted an older child because we wanted our kids to be close in age. Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans... I was pregnant 5 months later and we went from 1 to 3 children in just over a year. Now, number 4 will be born in 2 weeks. So much for kids close in age! ;)
09-10-2003, 12:10 AM
My brother and SIL, as well as some family friends, adopted with HOLT. http://www.holtintl.org/flash/
Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b32e1840e40d - New 9/8
09-10-2003, 08:26 AM
OH Gina tell us more!!!!!
How did it go so quick??? What happened...does it normally go that quick.
That happens by the way once you adopt you get pregnant...but if that happened to me I'd say "bring um on" :):):)...I now want a house full of children...and I'm 36!!!!
09-10-2003, 09:28 AM
I want housefull of children and I am 42! I have the full sprectrum of ages from teen to toddler and in the process of starting another adoption.
Hidong-What adoption agency are you using? I am thinking of A Helping Hand or Children's Hope International.
09-10-2003, 07:20 PM
Neve, I'd love to share with you!
We chose China for several reasons. The hardest to explain is that we know our daughter is there. There's no other way to say it!
I'll give you the quick(?) overview and feel free to ask questions either here or by email.
I'm 36 with 2 bio boys from my first marriage. Robert is 44, has been married before also, but no kids. He's sterile (diabetes) and I had my tubes tied after my second c-section at 23 years old. We've been married 4 years, engaged for 2 more, friends for 2 years before that so we have a pretty good history.
I commented to him one weekend morning that I was nearing 36 and it was time to get on the ball for a baby if we were thinking that way, knowing it would not be a simple thing. I started researching IVF and talked to my insurance company. I found that they would not cover the IVF treatments at all since we were both sterile (odd, huh?) and we were looking at outrageous expenses because of the process needed to get his sperm. Okee, dokie, no bio babies for us.
We began looking into domestic adoption and knew almost immediately it wasn't for us. Few children in our area and those that were available, were bi-racial and our county won't place AA babies with Caucasian parents. We also knew we'd fail at the "baby lottery" since we'd be competing with childless couples who had lots of money at their disposal. If I were in the pregnant mother's situation, I'd choose them too.
I walked into my manager's office a few days later, looked above her desk, and was struck dumb. There were the referral photos for another manager's daughter from China. I just KNEW.
More research...the Internet is FULL of places to go to find out about China adoptions and I read and read and read and read. My manager sent me to talk to the adoptive mom and she gave me her agency and social worker's names and I was pleased to find her agency was CCAI - the top on our list of 4 or so agencies I liked. I called CCAI, had a wonderful conversation with Katie, who was supposed to be off work 5 minutes after I called but never rushed me the entire 90+ minutes we were on the phone. She even went to other departments to get answers for me for specific questions, like about Robert's diabetes affecting our chances.
We received the application and took our time filling it out, though it's not nearly as in-depth as some out there! Returned it, found out a week or so later we were accepted and we began the paperchase! That's a whole 'nother post so I'll answer any questions about that separately, maybe another thread.
Our dossier was sent to China at the end of March and logged into the CCAA (Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs) on 3/31. Then the wait began.
The next 4-6 weeks will be huge for us - everyone's waiting to see if China will continue matching 2 months of dossiers at a time now that they've completed those October/November '02 dossiers. November '02 ended the quota year and China no longer has a quota for married couples. The wait is now down to 10 months, a goal of the CCAA. If they continue to match 2 at a time, I should have my referral by Thanksgiving. If not, we will in January or so, barring a return of the SARS epidemic as is expected.
When we receive our referral, we find out where in China our daughter is, if she's in an orphanage or foster care, how old she is, how much she weighs, how long she is, and her given name and some characteristics. We also get pictures!!! Of course, the info is sketchy and not always correct (they bundle their babies and weight them in the bundles!) but we'll have SOMETHING.
6-8 weeks after we receive our referral, we'll travel to China to pick her up, spending a few days to a week in the capital of the province where she's been living to finish up her provincial paperwork, then on to Guangzhou (HOT!) for another few days to a week to do her American paperwork and make her OURS at the US Consulate there.
Do I wish our agency was nearby instead of across the country? (we're in SC, they're outside of Denver, CO) You bet! Would I choose CCAI again? You bet!
Wow...a lot longer than I planned. Please feel free to ask away!!
09-10-2003, 11:46 PM
I'm Mary. We did domestic open adoption (agency), and brought home our little boy in March--he was 5 weeks then and currently our 7 month old bundle of joy! We have a very open adoption (birthmom visits about 1/month) which is working out much better than I could have ever expected. Is your adoption open and if so how is it going for you? Few people go through this experience, so I'm trying to find others in this situation.
Mary (Mom to Jeremiah 2/4/03, home 3/6/03)
09-11-2003, 01:01 PM
It was a quick process mostly because Mariah was a "waiting child". There isn't a line of people wanting to adopt a 5 year old. Adopting an infant would have been a different story, probably.
Additionally, I'm a bit of an obsessive-compulsive type and we flew threw the paperwork.
I was always "able" to get pregnant, but we just decided that we wanted to adopt. Both of these last 2 pregnancies were "condom babies" - my kids are living proof that those things aren't perfect... LOL!
I'm 35 and I guess we now how that "house full of children". I'm going to get my tubes tied when Autumn in born in the next week or so. Something about it is very sad to me, but I really don't know where we'd put a 5th child (or 6th, or more...). If down the road we decide that we just have to have another, we'll adopt again! :)
09-11-2003, 04:25 PM
I'm sure you are as thrilled as I to have your little miracle in your arms. Our adoption is semi open. We don't communicate directly with his birthmother but we send letters and pictures monthly through the agency. We have some identifying information as well. We never met. Our first adoption plan was much more open (we had met she and birthfather a few times for meals and spoke weekly for a couple of months) but two weeks before she was due she choose not to complete her adoption plan with us.
I have very mixed emotions about it all. On one hand I can see all the advantages of an open adoption. On the other, I can see the pitfalls and possible disappointments.
09-11-2003, 04:47 PM
I could do a "waiting child"...I don't mind if they are older...how did you go about the search...where do I go???
09-11-2003, 09:55 PM
We used an agency called Help The Children. They had an online photolisting. However, the director has now retired and the agency is no longer in operation.
I know a ton has changed since we adopted 7 years ago. (Wow! It is difficult to believe that it has been that long...even though at the same time it feels like Mariah has always been with us...a strange feeling to describe...)
However, I came across a few sites from my saved adoption links that might get you started:
I'm sure that there must be more and better ones out there! It's quite a journey...
09-12-2003, 01:44 AM
Add me to the list of mamas who just feels like she will be adopting someday. I am really interested in the Ukraine or Russia as that is Dh's heritage. However due to the costs it is quite a ways off for us, plus I am a bit nervous b/c of the stories I have heard about unscrupulous agencies.
09-12-2003, 01:19 PM
While it is true there are some unscrupulous agencies there are also quite a number of agencies that are certified by the Russian Gov't and ones that have quite a long history of working with Russia. Also I don't know if you are aware of it or not but currently there is a 10,000 tax credit for adoption. You still need to have the money up front and it's unlike the credit will cover all of your expenses but within income limits (and I believe that the income limit is actually pretty high), you can get back at least some of the money you pay as a credit off your taxes
09-12-2003, 01:23 PM
Hi all, we are waiting for the arrival of our son Luke Kyung-Mim from S. Korea. We hope that he is home by Christmas but because of the way adoption is handled in Korea it is possible that he won't travel until after the first of the year
Luke was born on June 25 and we received his referral in Aug
09-13-2003, 05:01 PM
Hi - We're using Holt International - which someone mentioned earlier in the postings. One of the things we've really liked about them is that they can do everything in California. I know many, many people that have a seperate homestudy and adoption agency, but it was really nice to have one company do everything.
They are a big company (as adoption agencies go). I like this and it's specifically one of the reasons we chose them. Thye also don't do a lot of handholding (although very helpful when you need them), which I also like. Some people are more comfortable with a smaller agency that will check on you much more consistently. I have found that their attitudes mirror mine and I have really enjoyed working them. I would recommend them whole heartedly. But I would also say, which I didn't realize when I started looking for an agency, is that different agencies have different personalities, and it's important to find one that you are comfortable with.
09-14-2003, 01:58 PM
One of my former co-workers son was adopted through an open adoption. I believe her son is around 8 or 9 now. She had asked the family who adopted her son to adopt him and they would only adopt him through an open adoption. The last I heard from her she said that she would like to write a book about open adoption with some other women who also are birth mom in an open adoption.
My friend really opened my eyes about adoption and open adoption. While her son does call her mom too, and she does visit them quite often she knows that the adoptive parents are truly his parents. Her situation seemed so ideal.
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
Add me to your list gals....As you all may know from former threads i was diagnosed at a very young age as not being able to have kiddos...My Arian is my miracle but DH and I have always talked about adoption as our option...I have half and over and its in polycystic condion..We will never unravel the mystery of how I got pregnant but i did..Now since we know that there may not be another miracle we are considering the fact of adoption more and more...
We are waiting at the moment to become more economically stable and at least waiting on a couple more years but all this info you have provided has been very helpfull in our quest for information...
09-16-2003, 03:28 PM
It was very interesting/educational to read your post. I've always been a little suspicious of the popularity Asian adoptions seem to have altely because I know there are so many AA children available here in the states. I always felt, wanting a child to look like you makes sense to me, but if that isn't a concern, why wouldn't oyu give a home to a needy child from this country instead of going to Asia? I always assumed that there was some underlying racist feeling that made people prefer an Asian child over an AA child. I didn't know that some places were already disallowing cross-racial adoptions, even though I knew some were considering it. It's really a shame. It's better to be loved by parents of a different race than none at all.
Anyway, you have opened my eyes!
10-14-2003, 05:02 PM
I think there is some truth in what you are saying. We are adopting transracially this time (African American) and several times people have asked me (after learning about our adoption plans) why we weren't adopting from China instead. While that could have just been an interesting question, I could tell from the tone that it seemed to apply that a child from China was better than an AA child.
I truly don't mean to offend anyone here. I don't think that everyone is called to adopt, and I think that if you are, you need to take whatever journey you are lead to, to unite with the child that you were meant to be with! We have several friends who did adopt from China, and now have the perfect family (for them.)
I do sadly, however, think that prejudice is still alive and well.
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