View Full Version : our journey through CIO
12-07-2006, 01:03 PM
started routine at 7pm...bath, jammies, book, bed and laid DD down at 7:30. She cried until 9:30 and then was quiet.
DD woke up at 12:50 am and cried again until 2am. i went in when she first woke up and reassured her that we were still there. kissed her, hugged her (didn't pick her up) and said night night.
she slept from 2 until 4am and then was up but that time i didn't go in. she cried until 4:30 or 5 (she kept wimpering for awhile). and then stayed in bed until 8:30 this morning.
i laid her down for her nap at 11 when she asked for a "baba and night night". i let her have a cup with a couple ounces of milk and she was quiet at first with the cup but as soon as the milk ran out I heard, "all gone" over the monitor and she has been screaming ever since and asking for a "baba". it's about noon now.
i showered to try and get away from it and will put dinner on now (crock pot). i am going to TRY to take a nap since i didn't get much sleep last night either, but we'll see. My plan is to let her have some more milk (from a cup) at 1:30 if she still hasnt' slept, but i'm hoping to not have to go there...i only let her have the milk cause there is really no great reason why she can't have it during the day...
i'm so weary and tired and it's only the first day of sleep training! it's gonna be a long road...but I'm so proud of how DD has handled it so far.
a little background, she's almost 20mos. and has been dependent on a bottle to go to sleep since she was 9mos old and we moved her from our bed to the crib. she wakes up frequently in the night wanting another bottle so she hasn't "slept" through the night more than once every blue moon in her entire life. sometimes she's up as much as 4 times a night for another "baba". we're going cold turkey on the bottles cause i don't want to send her mixed messages about them. she's a big girl and she doesn't need them is the message i'm goign with. i'm posting this chronicle of our journey here because i don't think the sleep books portray this process accurately. and none of them really address the bottle dependency issue...i know none of us want to admit that we let our kids have bottles in their cribs because it's a big NO-NO, but i wanted to post our story here and come out to you all so that if someone else is struggling with the same situation, that they might be able to benefit from our experience....
send good vibes, thoughts, prayers, luck our way if you have them to spare! it's going to be a bumpy ride!!!
12-07-2006, 02:47 PM
Kudos to you for getting through Night 1.
And, this might sound crazy to some, but she did alright considering all the issues that you are trying to confront. 1) your're trying to break the habit of the baba; 2)teach her to fall asleep on her own; 3) teach her to how to go back to sleep on her own when she wakes up; 4) teach her a sleep routine.
That's alot to deal with! Some deal with one issue at a time, but I have a DF that does it all at once. It involves more crying, but if you stick to your guns, it actually takes less time.
12-07-2006, 08:43 PM
she never ended up napping. I finally let her out about 2pm. we started the bedtime routine about 10 minutes early because she was falling apart this evening. I put her down at 7:15 and she's still crying/screaming/saying mommy...for some reason it's harder tonight than it was last night to hear her so upset. she's just so tired and i feel terrible for her. i think this is where i normally quit (though i have quit during night 1 before...and almost did last night) because it's just so exhausting and heartbreaking...she's just sitting in there crying, "mommy mommy mommy". AAACK! i just want to die! but i'm sticking to it cause it's not fair to have put her through this for nothing. hopefully tonight won't last as long as last night at least....oh crap now she's in there saying, "hug hug"....i'm turning the monitor off....
still battling over here....i'll post the time that she finally gets quiet...
ETA: well she's suddenly quiet at 7:50...we'll see if it lasts! but that's a HUGE improvement from last night....35 minutes compared to 120!!!!
THE REST OF NIGHT #2
well i was really happy that she got to sleep so much faster than night 1, but she was up again at 12:30am absolutely screaming. i went in and reassured her that time and she continued to cry. I finally made the decision i've been dreading--i turned the monitor off! i was just too tired to continue. i tuned her out as much as I could. I don't have any idea when she stopped crying that first time. She woke me up again at 3 or 4am and then I didn't hear her again until about 6:30am. and i think she was up from then until i got her at almost 9am!!! it wasn't a restful night really for either of us, but i did get more sleep than i've gotten since monday.....she's OK behavior wise today so far....i'm goign to lay her down for her nap at the same time today (11am) even though it didnt' work yesterday, just to be consistent. i will update with how the "nap" goes....i suspect she won't nap at all today either...
i'm really mentally exhausted right now, but it was very encouraging that it took her less crying time initially to go to sleep last night so i think we're headed in the right direction. i'm hoping by this time next week she's a pro!!!
12-07-2006, 09:13 PM
Hang in there!!! You know your baby. You know what's best for her. Do what you feel like you need to do and it sounds like you want to continue with the CIO. I haven't heard you doubt that at all. What I am hearing you say is that you're tired. Try your best to get some sleep. If you really need to, turn the monitor off. Hang in there!!! She can't possibly cry forever, right? And each night it'll get better. Sure, there'll be set backs, but two steps forward and one step back is still progress! ;)
If it makes you feel better, our sleep routine fell apart last night and DH ended up rocking her to sleep (he also admitted he wanted the time to spend with her since he hasn't been home much lately) but tonight she only fussed for a few minutes. I can still hear her in there playing and talking to herself, but at least she's not having the meltdown like she did last night. Point being: We had a rough night last night, but great so far tonight.
I hope we don't get an update from you tonight because you are fast asleep yourself. :) But don't forget to post in the morning to update!!
12-08-2006, 12:56 PM
well...she's been....unhappy today to say the least. her eyes are puffy, and purple from fatigue...which is really hard to look at.....
i laid her down for her nap at 11:20 when she was BEGGING for a "baba"...poor thing is SO tired. She is still in there screaming as of 5 til noon....the naps just aren't happening at all. part of me is wondering if i should try to do night sleep and day sleep separately, but i don't want to send her mixed messages. i'm just concerned that if she doesnt get her sleep during the day, i'm shooting myself in the foot at night....i don' think i'll make it much longer. i'm ready to throw in the towel right now...i almost caved ten minutes ago and gave her a baba to go to sleep with for this nap cause she's just so miserable and SO tired, but i didn't do it...i would hate to put her through all of this for nothing....i'm wondering if i could let her have the baba for nap time and just not at night. i really don't have a problem with her having it at naptime, but if it sabotages our nighttime efforts then it has to go....any advice out there??
ETA: well by the time i got the advice to go ahead and give her the bottle for the naptime, she was quiet! i'm hoping she's OK in there actually...i'm kind of nervous that she died in there or something, but i don't want to wake her up...it ended up taking a little less than an hour I guess for her to quiet down...if she gets naptimes and bedtimes down in the next week i'm going to be amazed. she has been such a trooper through this already! keep rooting for my big girl!
well...i did the routine as usual, laid her down at 7:20 and she SCREAMED until about 8:15...so not as bad as night 1....but still a lot of screaming....i think it's going to work, though!
eta: well she was quiet for awhile and then ended up screaming again for an additional half hour around 9pm....then she got up at 12:30am, again at 3:00 and again at 5:00. i didn't go in at all, though until 5 and i caved and gave her a bottle....bad mommy! but i was really seriously losing my mind...she's ok today though....
12-09-2006, 11:48 AM
How did it go last night? Better, I hope!
12-10-2006, 01:54 PM
well i laid her down at 11am with a cup of milk. She seemed to go right to sleep, but was up playing around at noon...and refused to nap at all today...
i did the bedtime routine as usual and put her down to instant screaming....and then i left! i went shopping at DH stayed here to be with her. He said she was up for about 20 minutes after i left, then got quiet, but woke up again at 9pm and cried for 20 minutes more. she woke up several times in the night last night, but i didn't check the times cause i didn't get up and go to her. she didn't cry for long any of the times. i think she was only up a couple times. she got up this morning at 8am! it was our best night so far!!!!!
12-10-2006, 01:56 PM
i laid her down with some milk for her nap today when she told me she was tired (10:40am) but she didn't go to sleep--she pooped! and is now refusing to nap....we are still struggling so much with the naps, but i'm amazed at the progress she's made at night...it's OK with me if we only get one down at a time. i feel bad for her that she's so tired during the day, but i can't drug her to sleep or anything! so hopefully after she's a pro at the night time sleep, we can get her adjusted to the daytime.....we've been having nap troubles for quite some time now, so it's nothing new....she was a great napper for months and then suddenly wouldn't do it anymore so i'm wondering if there's a new need i'm not picking up on, maybe moving the nap time or something. we'll have to address that at some point!
went through the bedtime routine a little late at 7:20pm and had her in bed before 8. she fussed at first, but started to lay down and i saw her look around in the crib for her baby....and it wasn't there! she said, "BABAY BAABAY!" and i went and got it...gave it to her...and she went right down! cuddling the doll! i was astonished! she stayed completely quiet until 11....and i went in to comfort her....and the screaming ensued......
12-10-2006, 10:52 PM
Hopefully it will get better as her night sleep gets better. Does she ever fall asleep in the car and let you transfer her? My DD very often falls asleep for her nap in the car around 11:45-12ish when we are on our way home from being out and about, and I can transfer her to her crib for a good 2 hour nap most days. When she was taking 2 naps I really couldn't transfer her, but with 1 nap she is so pooped by the time she falls asleep that she stirs but stays mostly asleep for me to get her upstairs to her crib.
12-11-2006, 12:19 AM
What an improvement!!! I am so excited for you! Hopefully the screaming doesn't last at this hour and she wakes up less often...it seems like she is really getting used to the new routine. Mine are old enough that the sleep battles feel like they happened a lifetime ago, but I feel for you!
On the nap front...Is she a car sleeper? My SIL used to always go for a LONG drive whenever it was naptime. Her DDs wouldn't nap at home, but would conk out in the car. She could sometimes transfer them to bed, but if not, even a 1/2 hr nap that way would help. Hate to waste gas when it is so $$$ but it may get her back in the napping groove.
12-15-2006, 12:24 AM
no such luck...DD is not a car sleeper and if she does fall asleep in the car it's the kiss of death! she wakes up as soon as we're in the garage and then she thinks her nap is over and won't sleep the rest of the day..it's a total nightmare....i have to practically yell at her in the car when she's getting sleepy to keep her from falling asleep and therefore missing a nap!
i would post about the last few nights, but i'm too tired....
suffice it to say it's going mostly the same...she won't nap during the day and is sleeping *better* at night than i had thought she would. she is generally still waking up and crying 2-3 times (usually the same time each night) but is putting herself back to sleep after a while. tonight it took almost an hour to get her down, but the neighbor's dog wouldn't quit barking at her window, so she was having trouble falling asleep with that, as soon as they took him inside she quieted down...
she is such a light sleeper! it's a real problem...just like for me! i think i am gonna get her a white noise machine soon....we just can't be as quiet as she needs us to be, and i can't do anything about the neighbor's stupid dog....
12-15-2006, 12:30 AM
I'm sorry it's not going better during the day. At least she's doing ok at night. I think that's a terrific idea to get a white noise machine. ANYTHING that may help! I think it's great that you are being consistant about the CIO. In the end, I think it will help her adjust quicker.
Anyway, get some sleep while you can! I've been thinking about your struggles and keeping my fingers crossed for you. :)
12-15-2006, 05:11 PM
thank you! the e-support really is helpful!!!
12-15-2006, 07:54 PM
We opted for a cd of classical lullabies instead of the white noise machine. But, we have in the past turned the radio to a station full of static - heck, we even used to use DH's police scanner! So, you can try those things instead of a white noise machine if you want to try to save a few bucks. Or, like a friend of mine did, just make a White Noise CD and play that at night.
Keep it up. It sounds like you're making progress! :)
Aunt to sweet baby boy
12-18-2006, 12:57 AM
Just wanted to check in and see how sleep is going, both at night and for naps.
Keep up the good work, and i hope it continues to improve.
Ilana, aka Nana to my sweet nephew Avi
03-05-2007, 11:18 AM
Megs....how long did it take?? I know eventually I'm going to have to go through this with our little one (she has me up UP to six times a night & I just go in & give her a bottle ....usually water but sometimes milk). Don't have the strength to let her CIO yet...she wakes DH & since he's a full time student he needs the sleep. Just wondering & hoping she's sleeping through the night. Give me some hope! :)
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