View Full Version : Staying Home?
08-26-2008, 08:34 AM
For those of you that are stay at home moms - do you go out everyday to do something with your kiddos?
I've been home now with the two boys for awhile and when I decided to be a stay at home mom I used to be home two days a week. Now I find myself out of the house doing something (park, running errands, mall, etc) every single day. I'd like to return back to those days where we were home just hanging out a few days a week. I think that the kids were better rested and better behaved on those days. We have a large basement play room that never gets used because we're always off doing something. We also have plenty of outdoor toys that never see any play time because we're always at the park. Am I crazy wanting to just stay home with the kids? Do they need to go out and do something every day?
08-26-2008, 08:43 AM
You know, I felt like DS and I were overscheduled and that it was affecting us - so we started staying home a day or two. I tried to make sure we had "things to do", o'course, but we spent a lot more time reading and snuggling. I really think it made a difference
08-26-2008, 08:55 AM
We are usually home for at least one day a week. I used to a bit of errand running throughout the week to break it up, but now we just do most of it in one day or I go after DH is home.
Once school starts, I am guessing we won't have any at home days though. DS1 is in 3 days and DD and I are doing Mommy and Me for 1 day, so we're out for a while each day for that. And, with the timing, we won't have the time to do a big errand day. I hope it works!
Yes, they like being home for a bit and playing with their own toys.
08-26-2008, 09:07 AM
We try to stay home at least 2 days a week. If not, I found myself always running around with them and they would get overtired with too much activities.
I'm glad school has started. Now they have an outlet for all their energy during the day. :)
08-26-2008, 12:11 PM
It varies from week to week, but I also try to stay home at least 2 days a week. Not only can organized activities be pricey, but I found that by going out, I tended to spend more money wherever I was. I also didn't like the fact that DS started to have a habit of being bored around the house and wanting to go outside all.the.time (and being cranky if we weren't). So I toned it back, and now I think we have a pretty good balance of staying home & relaxing vs letting DS run some steam off outside.
08-26-2008, 12:29 PM
We probably stay home (during the day) 4 days a week. There are several reasons...my DD hates riding in the car for more than say 15 mins (it depends on her mood but she's just not a fan.). My kids both do better w/ a rhythm to the day, and that's easier when we stay home. DD also is very, very active right now so trips to the library, grocery store, etc. during the day are just too much to handle without an extra set of hands.
We usually consolidate our errands to save on sanity and gas prices. I find if I'm not out and about, I spend less $ in general. If we go to Target, somehow we end up spending $50-100 even though we only needed one or two things. Or if we're running around I'm tempted to stop at a coffee shop and pick up an expensive coffee or lunch out.
We tend to run most of our errands that aren't right in town on Saturday. We'll often have 5-6 stops but those stores, etc. are all in the same general area 20-30 mins away, so it is worthwhile to consolidate. We probably head out of the house 2-3 nights a week, but then I have DH's extra help, so that means we get groceries, hit the library, etc.
We're also working around naps, etc. with DD right now. As she gets older and hopefully tolerates the car more and we aren't forced to work around naps, we'll probably be out and about more often. Right now she's just unreliable in the car, especially when tired. I don't like being overscheduled though, and that's a major priority for us as a family. I like it when my kids have an abundance of time for free play, outside play, etc. without the contraints of scheduling.
08-26-2008, 12:55 PM
During the summer we stay in more we swim and just play around the house. We work around naps. During the school year I'm out and about more. That will start back up next Thurs. And since gas is so much I try to do everything in one area on the same day. Were usually at home in the summer 4 days out of 5 during the weekdays.
08-26-2008, 01:04 PM
we used to do lots of errands to break up the day and keep the boys from just aimlessly wandering around the house bored, but lately we've been staying home. with gas prices and finances i find it easier and more cost effective to stay home most days and run errands once a week or wait till dh is home and go by myself or all as a family. when we go during the day with no real objective i find that we go home with useless items and unneccessary snacks.
08-26-2008, 01:32 PM
I think every family/set of kids is different, so you have to go with the arrangement that suits you best. We used to get out all the time, but we were living in an apt with limited space, so getting out was one of keeping them entertained, even if it was going to the post office:)
Now that we've moved into a large house, I'm hoping that staying home some days will work out well. Esp. as the winters here are reputed to be long and cold. We have a lot more space so that will give us more options I think.
08-26-2008, 02:37 PM
When I just had DS #1 I was out and about all the time. It was tiring and although he's a great traveler once DS #2 came along it got harder. We also live in a climate where the nice weather is just limited to say 4-5 months. And like a PP mentioned, you spend money more when your out regardless where or what it is you are doing.
Now with two boys and DC #3 on the way I find myself tired and don't go out as much. So the boys play at home and we have a better regular schedule, breakfast, Sesame Street, play time, lunch, naps, etc. I do feel badly that I'm not out with them more but it's harder now being pregnant and with the two plus I found I was cutting DS #2's naps short and he was cranky by 6pm.
Plus when we're home I don't have to worry about as much (i.e. are they playing nice, are they safe, do I have to chase after one or both) and they learn to play and be around each other as brothers. Not to say I don't want them to socialize...but when other kids are around they aren't so focused on learning to deal with each other if you know what I mean.
I do break the day up a bit a quick run to the library or grocery store here and there but I cut out a lot of aimless mall walking and Target trips. With inflation and gas prices it's just better that I only go when it's necessary or if there's a HUGE Target clearance that just can't be passed up. ;)
08-26-2008, 05:13 PM
Thanks ladies. I suppose that most of it is that everyone else I know is always running off somewhere with the kids. But after two weeks of having something to do every single day the kids look ragged, my house is a disaster and I'm exhausted too! So I promised myself that I'd take this week to just relax with the boys and hang out at home. I figure that once school starts we won't have that luxury (DS#1 is in pre-school 4 mornings a week and then they both take swim lessons on the 5th weekday). I also like to see the boys learn to play together without my prompting or just because they are at a new place. Not to mention that you're right about the money we spend when we head to the mall. . . a simple trip to just have fun could turn into a $50 trip! OYE! It's not like we don't do anything at home. . . we walk to the neighborhood park, play in the sprinklers or pool, today they had fun with play-doh and painting.
08-26-2008, 06:39 PM
Everyone brought up a lot of really good points about naps, unused toys, backyards, housekeeping, etc. I've been totally randomly doing errands, groceries, cleaning, cooking, etc. That makes ME a little cranky. I'm thinking for the fall I'm going to TRY to plan TWO home days - one for me- planning and housekeeping, one for playing with the kids and doing something fun here. It is SO tempting to plan every moment and do lots of playdates, museums, errands, etc. but I'm thinking sanity is more desired for me. We have a few standing commitments already, so we're not wandering in Target on the other days. Maybe I'll try to plan one of those days each month as well. Wonder how many posts I'll have if we have deliberate stay-at-home days...scary thought.
08-26-2008, 07:38 PM
I prefer to be home much of the time and start to go a bit nuts if there's stuff on the calendar for more than about 2 or 3 days a week. My kids aren't bored here--there's plenty to do and always someone else for them to play with.
08-26-2008, 10:54 PM
I make it a point to be home often (plus with the girls ages it is just more of a pain to go places) because I want them to learn to entertain themselves and not feel like they have to be "doing something" or "going somewhere" to be happy.
We have two toddlers and I try to plan a morning activity (mom & me classes, gym classes, swim) out of the house most mornings...but we're rarely gone more than 2 hours...and are home before noon. Then we have lunch... a bit of playtime...then long nap.
I think getting them out of the house is essential to them being happy...but like I said we're usually gone for less than two hours and the activity is 'kid based'.
08-26-2008, 11:21 PM
Different ages and seasons bring changes in our weekly routine (oh, and throw in a set of twins to change things a bit ;)). I've noticed that the weeks when we are out every single day, the boys are tired and wound up. They seem much happier (better rested, more relaxed, concentrate better, don't pick at each other) when we are only out 2or 3 days/week.
We haven't started school here yet but I'm looking forward to our fall routine. Each of the boys, as well as the twins, will have some one-on-one time with me and I will have help with the kids on a couple of days of the week so I can have a couple of hours of "me" time (woo hoo!). Here's hoping it works out.
08-26-2008, 11:55 PM
Pretty much, yes we go out every day. Errands or activities. We did go through hanging out at home phases and when we go out it wouldn't be for the whole day. I have a friend who is never home during the day b/c she has a million activities and errands (and she wonders why her girls are horrible nappers).
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