View Full Version : Whiney cry talk when falling asleep
05-13-2009, 01:51 PM
My sons are 4 months old. I do not want them to CIO. But, I also struggle with feeling like I am interrupting their ability to fall asleep on their own if I go to them. It's like they are almost asleep and I am interrupting that and starting the fall asleep process over with nursing/rocking.
If I put DS down drowsy but awake, he will make these whiny, quasi crying talking noises. He will suck his thumb, be quiet for several minutes then start again. What is this? Does your kid make these noises. How do you handle them?
Sometimes these noises turn into crying--and I definitely go in. But other times he dozes off--or keeps at it for so long I go in even though he hasn't escalated.
05-13-2009, 02:29 PM
I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know that my DS (almost 5months) does this too. I usually let him fuss himself to sleep, but like you, pick him up when that fuss turns into a cry.
05-13-2009, 02:32 PM
My DD did that. She always had to cry/talk/whine before she fell asleep. Occasionally, she would even make one last scream before silence. And she is now 26 months and has just started in the last month or so to fall asleep without that crying. I made it completely worse if I came in and picked her up. DH and I were just saying the other day that it's only been in the last month or so that I could walk back in and talk to her normally and she wouldn't start over her whole process again.
I've had other moms say it's like they are getting out their last bit of energy before going to sleep. Because of this behavior, though, I have said many times that I'm glad DD was on a schedule. Otherwise, I would think she wasn't tired or that I put her down too early, etc. But once she fell asleep, she was good to go. And I can tell (as I'm sure you can) when her cries were her sleepy cry/whine and if something major happened (like if her lovey fell over the crib, for example).
05-13-2009, 02:33 PM
DD was a cry herself to sleep kid. I would let it go up to 20 minutes and then go in. 95% of the time she was out within 10-15 mins. I had to come to the realization that by going in prior to that time I was not helping. I do better with a time limit on myself--something very concrete.
05-13-2009, 03:11 PM
DD used to do that (only at nap, not at night, which I thought was strange). She'd definitely get more agitated if we went in and tried to sooth. Finally, I just convinced myself that it was her way of winding down and would leave her alone unless she escalated to a full-out cry.
As she got older the whining/fussing turned to talking. She'll be 5 this summer and she still talks/sings herself to sleep.
05-14-2009, 09:00 PM
FWIW, the excellent caregivers in Abby's infant room said that some kids just need to do that. And any attempt to 'comfort' them thoroughly interrupted their ability to fall asleep - because they became agitated and overtired.
As PP's have said, they could tell when something was really wrong, and comfort/address the issue then. But otherwise, they'd leave them alone. And some kids took 15-20 minutes, but didn't seem distressed.
I think you're totally doing the right thing by letting her calm herself that way.
05-15-2009, 12:05 AM
Mine were the same way. They would do the last fuss even when I was holding/rocking them. So, I did what pp did. Left them for a bit and went in only if it lasted too long or turned into real crying.
05-15-2009, 08:47 AM
My DS is 4 months and he moans himself to sleep. We did a very modified version of CIO starting at 3 months, never letting him cry for more than 5 minutes. Before this he would not fall asleep unless someone was rocking him. Now he falls asleep on his own, after crying for 5 minutes. If he's very tired, after the crying he moans for a couple of minutes and then falls alseep. Like PP said, if we interrupt the crying/moaning sometimes we make it worse. Sounds like you're doing the right things.
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