Sharing rooms, etc. How should I set things up?

[JTsMom]

I need some BTDT perspective. Yesterday we found out that we are expecting a second DS. :) Now I have more options as to how we set up our new house.

We have 4 bedrooms, all upstairs. 1 is the master, but that's the only real given. We'll definitely want DS2 in our room, I'm guessing for a year minimum (we'll probably co-sleep). Meanwhile, one will be Jason's. I'm thinking of using another as a play room, and the last as a craft room. I have piles and piles of craft junk, along with a big craft table, and a 5X5 Expedit shelving system, so it really does take up a whole room.

But is it lame not to set up a nursery? We did it for Jason, and I feel bad that #2 wouldn't get the same, but seriously, it was just a big old waste of space and money- I think he napped in there twice. I figure that eventually, I could either eliminate the toy room, or put both boys in one bedroom.

We don't have to have a toy room either, of course, but it would be nice. I'm sure some stuff will migrate down to the family room, but at least the big stuff could be hidden. We also have a living room, but I'm planning on using that as an office, and don't want to switch it to a toy or craft room since it's what you see right when you walk in the front door. One other option would be to put all of the craft junk in the master bedroom, but I don't love that idea either, b/c the only time I usually have to work on that stuff is after everyone else is in bed.

[mamicka]

Hmmmm. I see your dilemma. However - I'd put the toy room in the living room for the time being, knowing it was temporary until the kids were older. I don't think you actually need to set up a nursery for the little one, but I can't imagine the toy room being on the 2nd level to be convient. Unless, of course, you spend most of your time upstairs - in which case the toy room there would make sense.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I think you should arrange based on your lifestyle at this point.

[MommyAllison]

I don't think it's lame, but if we have a third we'll probably do the same as you, fwiw. :) Our kids co-sleep for the first year, and we have 3 bedrooms on the main floor, 1 in the basement. Right now, each child has their own room, and if we have another baby we'd probably just move the changing table into our room and co-sleep, then move them in with a sibling after a year or so. Actually, when DS was born we were in a 2 bdrm apartment, so he was in with us, and I did make one corner (where his changing table/dresser, rocker was) kinda nursery-ish. Congrats on another boy! :)

ETA: I do agree with Allison - if you want DS1 to play in there while you craft during the day, that would work perfectly, but otherwise it might just become a toy storage room, if you are downstairs the majority of the day.

[bubbaray]

Congrats! :)

Well, this is just my experience, but I found that I used the nursery EARLIER and MORE OFTEN with DD#2. With DD#1, she coslept in a PNP in our room for a long time. We moved DD#2 earlier (though she moved back, but that is a different post!) just to try to get her to sleep. We also had a PNP on the main floor in the family room with DD#1 and that was obviously NOT possible with DD#2 as there was just too much chaos and noise for that to work.

Honestly, with a 4-bedroom house (like ours) I can't imagine not having the 2 children in separate rooms. Periodically DH mutters about the girls sharing a room and then turning 1 bedroom into a play room (and reclaiming our family room, kitchen and dining room!), but it just is NOT practical. Neither of our girls are super great sleepers and when we travel and they sleep together, its just a gong show.

I would configure one room to be both a play room and craft room, or skip the craft room altogether. Or, if you have a family room, convert that into a play room.

HTH

ETA: We have 4 bedrooms/2 bath upstairs, family room/kitchen/living room/dining room/laundry room/powder room on the main, plus full finished basement (which we don't use, except for storage). We like having the toys on the main floor so that the girls are around us when they play, plus they don't associate the upstairs (sleeping) area with play.

[wolverine2]

We didn't set up a nursery for DS2. He was in our room for 8 months or so in a co-sleeper. His crib was set up in DS1's room (which they share) and DS2 took his naps in there before we put him in overnight. When we got tired of having him in our own room, we just stuck the boys together and hoped for the best, and it really has worked well. Our third bedroom is set up as a playroom (with a sleeper sofa for guests). I'm willing to give them their own rooms someday if they want them, but not before they are pushing for it. It's been really nice having them in the same room. Really, they don't do much in their bedroom but sleep because most of the toys are in the playroom.

[khalloc]

I dont think I would have my kids share a room when I had a 4 bedroom house.

[carolinamama]

We have a bonus room upstairs that is a toyroom for us. While it is away from the action, I love it. We keep the bulk of our toys there and some downstairs that we rotate in baskets. What I really love about having it upstairs - we can go up there for a change of scenery when the natives are getting restless downstairs and then I can shut the door on the mess if I don't get it straightened up. When DS2 was a baby, we didn't spend nearly as much time up there but now that there are two of them, we are up there alot.

I don't think you need to set up a nursery if you anticipate co-sleeping. We didn't have a nursery until DS2 was 3 months old since I didn't want to take DS1 out of his crib with a new baby in the house but didn't want to shell out money for another one either. We don't co-sleep after 6ish months (and it's a part-time gig before that) around here so I needed a room but you may never need one. If it turns out that you do, you could always set up the crib in the playroom or crafting room as your needs change.

[JTsMom]

So the room sharing thing seems to depend on the kids. Hmmmm. In my mind, right now, the toy room would be more for Jason, b/c the baby won't really be playing with much for.... oh, at least a year, maybe a year and a half, kwim? I'm not even due until June. But, DS will be starting school full time in the fall, so at that point, things will change a lot too. I think I might be up and down a fair amount since our laundry room is upstairs. I'm also not opposed to changing things around as our needs change, so nothing has to be set in stone. I wish we had a basement!

[bubbaray]

Another thought -- I couldn't have had the playroom near the sleeping areas for DD#2 -- DD#1 is pretty noisy when she plays, LOL.

[JTsMom]

I should also add that the stuff I have thrown in the toy room so far (we're kind of moving in stages- still installing the flooring downstairs) is really big, bulky stuff. DS's kitchen, his little piano, trampoline, big tub of cardboard blocks, etc. We have way too many big things.

I would have no problem with SOME toys being downstairs, it's the giant stuff that kills me.

[JTsMom]

Another thought -- I couldn't have had the playroom near the sleeping areas for DD#2 -- DD#1 is pretty noisy when she plays, LOL.


I'm not sure how the sleeping thing will work. DS was such a terrible sleeper, he had to be next to me to sleep, no matter what, and if it was too quiet, he'd wake up- seriously. If DS2 is the same, he'll probably be downstairs most of the time.

[maestramommy]

I'm with pp on converting your family room to a playroom. We have 4 bedrooms, family room and living room. Our smallest bedroom is our office. Dora and Arwyn share, Laurel is sleeping in the guest room. When we have guests she rooms with us. At some point we're planning on moving her in with the older two, unless she turns out to be a rotten sleeper (the way things are going you never know). Our family room is currently the playroom. We have only a couple big things (dollhouse, tent, toy shelf with tubs) in there. The small things are on shelves that are built into the fireplace wall. Stuff like the rideon and stroller are parked along the wall. We also have a squared folding table and two chairs, and a mini park bench. The one big thing that is currently in our livingroom is the exersaucer. But it tends to move around to where it's most needed.

Even though you are planning to cosleep, I'd not turn both the other two rooms into something not a bedroom. What if DS2 doesn't like cosleeping? Also, if you turn one of the rooms into a toy room, expecting your DS to play there, will he make a lot of noise, disturbing DS2? Is it possible for him to be left playing unattended when you have to nurse/change the baby? That's what I usually do with Arwyn and Dora, but I know it's not feasible for everyone.

[Raidra]

We have a three bedroom house. We never did a nursery for Lachlann or Fiona, and won't for this baby, either. When Lachlann moved out of our room, we could have put him in his own room, but we decided to have the boys share a room. It's worked out better than I could possibly believe. Now Fiona is in there with them, too.

The benefits in my experience are:

The kids sleep really soundly. The boys fall asleep while Fiona is still goofing around. It's very rare that she wakes them up, even if she cries in the night. Fiona also sleeps soundly.. the boys have to step on her bed when they wake up before her (which they do every day) and it only wakes her once in a while, usually on days when they wake up a little later than normal. The sleeping soundly thing also started from day one, though.. I always had the babies nap in the living room and while I discouraged rowdy play, I kept the TV on (to maintain a level of noise) and our talking, playing, etc never woke the baby. I'd rather them learn to sleep with noise from the start. :)

When the little one is learning to fall asleep on his/her own, I figure it can be intimidating to do that in a room all alone. When we first put Lachlann in Colwyn's room, he went from being rocked to sleep to lying in a twin bed with us next to him for a few minutes to sing, cuddle, etc.. then we'd leave while he was still awake. Sure, sometimes he'd get up and jump up and down on the bed, and Colwyn would giggle with him, but I'd rather have that than crying. Plus, it's a bonding experience. Fiona's the same way.. we rocked her to sleep until we started putting her to bed in the trundle. She still calls out for reassurance, but she doesn't try to get out of bed, and when she yells, "Lach! Lach!" - he doesn't even wake up. ;)

I don't know what to say about the toys. Our house is all one level, and it's so nice to be able to let the kids (even Fiona once she stopped putting toys in her mouth) just play in the playroom while I do dishes or vacuum or whatever. So, if I were on the first floor most of the time, I'd prefer for their favorite toys to be on the same level.

[infocrazy]

I didn't read everything but we have 4 bedrooms and our 2 boys share. We use the others as a guest room and an office. Once we got wireless, we pretty much stopped using the office so that will become DD's room after some time in our room.

DS2 stayed in our room for I think the first year, then started sharing with DS1 with little to no problems. They really like sharing a room.

We converted our dining room to a playroom. We almost never go upstairs during the day and actually have very minimal toys up there.

FWIW though, we are going to move the boys into the guest room (layout better for sharing) and have DD take over their room when we are ready to kick her out of ours, but we aren't doing anything until the summer (she'll be 3 months ish) since she'll be in our room anyway.

I'd just wait and see what works best once he's here.

[Momof3Labs]

For the toy room thing, I'd consider the age spread you have, too. A lot of DS1's toys will be off limits to DS2 for several years. Wouldn't DS2 like to have his toys in a baby-free zone, perhaps in his own room? If you don't give him his own space for his toys, he'll get frustrated fast with a much younger brother in his space (and no, it won't take a year to a year and a half for the baby to want to dig into his toys - it will happen a lot sooner).

So, I lean towards putting them in their own rooms, with DS1's toys in his room. Toys that can be shared (not choking hazards) can be in the family room. Big toys like the kitchen can be kept in the craft room or baby's room and rotated downstairs one at a time. I can't imagine not having some toys on the main level near the kitchen, family room, TV (yes, I confess), etc.

[egoldber]

A lot of DS1's toys will be off limits to DS2 for several years. Wouldn't DS2 like to have his toys in a baby-free zone, perhaps in his own room? If you don't give him his own space for his toys, he'll get frustrated fast with a much younger brother in his space (and no, it won't take a year to a year and a half for the baby to want to dig into his toys - it will happen a lot sooner).

:yeahthat:

Sarah's room is now her haven. It's where she puts things that Amy is not allowed to touch.

[KrisM]

Congrats!

DS2 slept in a cradle in our room for 6 months. Then in the crib in our room for another 6 months. He's now in his "own room", but really it has my craft stuff, extra gifts, outgrown clothes, etc in it. He has a crib and dresser :). My goal is to have it really be his room before he turns 2 in July.

DD slept in our room for quite a while and then moved to her room for a bit and then in with DS1 for a while.

Only DS1 had an actual 'nursery'.

[JTsMom]

For the toy room thing, I'd consider the age spread you have, too. A lot of DS1's toys will be off limits to DS2 for several years. Wouldn't DS2 like to have his toys in a baby-free zone, perhaps in his own room? If you don't give him his own space for his toys, he'll get frustrated fast with a much younger brother in his space (and no, it won't take a year to a year and a half for the baby to want to dig into his toys - it will happen a lot sooner).

So, I lean towards putting them in their own rooms, with DS1's toys in his room. Toys that can be shared (not choking hazards) can be in the family room. Big toys like the kitchen can be kept in the craft room or baby's room and rotated downstairs one at a time. I can't imagine not having some toys on the main level near the kitchen, family room, TV (yes, I confess), etc.

I may be delusional, but in a year, the baby will only be 6 months old- is it really a problem that early on? It's been a while since I had a 6 month old, and I can't begin to wrap my brain around having more than one, so if you say yes, I'll believe you. :)

I like the idea of rotating some stuff downstairs, and there's no way DS won't end up with some stuff in his room, regardless of how stuff gets set up- there is just way too much stuff. I think the trampoline and the kitchen are the two biggest PITB, but at the same time, he doesn't even play with them that often, so rotating might be the best solution.

The other big thing is the train table, and that I was definitely planning on putting in DS's room- that's where it is now, but we're in a ranch at the moment. I could definitely see the trains being an issue with the age spread, but I also wonder how much longer he'll be into those for.

In any case, I don't see a playroom as being something that would last for more than a year or 2 in our current set-up.

I know someone asked upthread- I can definitely leave DS to play by himself inside, as long as he's within earshot, and we're at home- I keep things preschooler-proof. :) He plays independently quite a bit at this point. He won't stay in there for hours at a time or anything, but definitely for 30-45 mins at a stretch.

I may have to re-think the craftroom. DS has a lot of that stuff too though, which is another reason I'd hate to put it in the master. His easel is in there, and a small table, and the bottom row of the Expedit is his stuff.

[JTsMom]

I won't go back and quote everyone, but I'm definitely feeling less guilty about not doing a nursery. :) And thanks to everyone for the congrats.

[wolverine2]

I think I'm in the minority when voting to put them in the same room and make a playroom. Our bedroom that we made into a playroom adjoins the boys bedroom (there is a door inbetween). Honestly, noise is not that big an issue. I guess it depends on your kids, so maybe you can go ahead with the playroom idea and see what kind of a baby you have? I never thought DS1 would sleep through DS2 waking up in the night, but he did. And now we have legos and all kinds of stuff that's not age appropriate for DS2 in our playroom and it's not a problem. Sometimes DS1 does want some space from DS2, and I think we probably need to find a better way of making that happen, but usually they are happy playing together or near each other. We do have a small one-level house though, so privacy and space is not really an option.

It's so cute to hear DS1 "reading" to DS2 after I put them to bed. I love that they share a room.

[jgenie]

We have a three bedroom house with a soon (please, please, please) to be finished basement. One room is the master, DS has his own room that was decorated as a nursery when he was born, and the last room is a guest room. We are planning to put the new baby in our room in a bassinet for the first few months then buying a crib for the baby to sleep in in our room. My current thought is that the baby will eventually move into DS' room. We're putting in a guest room in the basement so we may be able to turn the 3rd bedroom into a room for the baby eventually but I'm going to wait until the baby arrives and then decide. We've currently converted our formal living room into a play room and I don't anticipate that changing because DS can play and pop in and out of the kitchen while I get things done in the kitchen.

[Momof3Labs]

I may be delusional, but in a year, the baby will only be 6 months old- is it really a problem that early on? It's been a while since I had a 6 month old, and I can't begin to wrap my brain around having more than one, so if you say yes, I'll believe you. :)


Maybe not at 6 months old, but by 8-9 months old? Sure. Once the baby is mobile (happened at 5 months for DS1, and DD2 is well on her to mobility, too), it becomes possible for the baby to start to interfere in the older kiddo's activities. Knocking down, messing up and mouthing toys are the earliest risks.

[JTsMom]

I wish our living room was at the back of the house, or even had a door- that would make things so much easier. The family room is in the back, but it's where the TV and the furniture will be- it's open to the kitchen too. There's no way our stuff would fit in the LR- there's basically space enough for a desk and a chair. Really, I could make it into a craft room or play room- I just know my cleaning habits, and I would always be freaked when the doorbell rang- LOL!

Maybe it will just turn out to be one of those things that we re-evaluate and change as we grow. I really don't know. In any case, you all are giving me a LOT to think about.

It's so hard for me to picture what life with the baby is going to be like, and even harder to picture what life with DS and the baby is going to be like! DS was such a.... unique case ;) , and I'm hoping DS2 will be a tad bit more mellow. Plus, with DS going of to school, that really throws me for a loop- life will be so dramatically different soon.

[JTsMom]

Maybe not at 6 months old, but by 8-9 months old? Sure. Once the baby is mobile (happened at 5 months for DS1, and DD2 is well on her to mobility, too), it becomes possible for the baby to start to interfere in the older kiddo's activities. Knocking down, messing up and mouthing toys are the earliest risks.


Oh man, seriously?! :eek: Well, at least now I've been warned!

[KrisM]

The other big thing is the train table, and that I was definitely planning on putting in DS's room- that's where it is now, but we're in a ranch at the moment. I could definitely see the trains being an issue with the age spread, but I also wonder how much longer he'll be into those for.

I just bought a second train table :).

We have our playroom in our living room because it has French doors on it and we can keep DS2 out. One table is in there and has Legos and marble runs on it.

The other train table is in our family room and has little people on it right now because all the train track is all over our family room! I brought some up for DS2 and DS1 totally got into it and made a huge layout! He's definitely not into Thomas like he was, but the biggest hit of Christmas was the Lego train he got.

[egoldber]

One more thought that occured to me. In the ranch vs 2 story house thread, several people with 2 stories mentioned that their kids didn't really play in their bedrooms. This is certainly the case for my kids. They spend relatively little time in their rooms, much preferring to be on the main floor where the action is. You may find that putting all the big toys upstairs means that they never get played with.

[Momof3Labs]

I wish our living room was at the back of the house, or even had a door- that would make things so much easier. The family room is in the back, but it's where the TV and the furniture will be- it's open to the kitchen too. There's no way our stuff would fit in the LR- there's basically space enough for a desk and a chair. Really, I could make it into a craft room or play room- I just know my cleaning habits, and I would always be freaked when the doorbell rang- LOL!

DebbieJ had a small living room next to the entryway in her last house, and they put up drywall and put on a pretty door to make it more like a study/office. It looked really cute and was such a good use of that smallish space. Maybe think about making that your craft space - and put on, say, a french door with frosted glass to keep things hidden from visitors? If you are worried about maintaining a formal living room for resale, you can always tell a potential buyer (down the road) that they can take down the drywall to restore the space.

[JTsMom]

See, I think this sort of thing is probably part of my disconnect. Right now, DS's toys are mostly pretty baby friendly, with a couple of exceptions. We still have Little People out for him, for example. But by next year, I'm guessing maybe the Lego and marbles and what-not might start replacing the more babyish stuff.

Shoot- that should have gone under Kris's post- that's what I get for not quoting.

[JTsMom]

One more thought that occured to me. In the ranch vs 2 story house thread, several people with 2 stories mentioned that their kids didn't really play in their bedrooms. This is certainly the case for my kids. They spend relatively little time in their rooms, much preferring to be on the main floor where the action is. You may find that putting all the big toys upstairs means that they never get played with.

I'm going to have to go back and read that one- I never finished it. Maybe I should really purge some stuff. I thought the less played with stuff might get played with more if it was all in one spot, and more accessible at all times. For example, his kitchen/shopping cart/play food, etc.


DebbieJ had a small living room next to the entryway in her last house, and they put up drywall and put on a pretty door to make it more like a study/office. It looked really cute and was such a good use of that smallish space. Maybe think about making that your craft space - and put on, say, a french door with frosted glass to keep things hidden from visitors? If you are worried about maintaining a formal living room for resale, you can always tell a potential buyer (down the road) that they can take down the drywall to restore the space.

I actually did think about doing just that, b/c really, that would be ideal, but I was concerned it might make the entry look really boxed in- maybe once we get more settled, I'll post some pics.

Behind the LR is the DR- it's all open, so I'd have to think about that as well. I could totally wall it off, or just wall off the one side.

[SpaceGal]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Two boys!!

As for rooms, I never had a nursery for any of my kids. I started working on a "kid" room when I was pregnant with DS#1 but it took nearly 2 years to finish since we sketched the murals and stuff.

Our two boys will share a room, DD will get her own room. We keep most of our toys our living room, big toys (train table, art table, and lego table and DD's kitchen) go in the "extra" morning room both rooms are right off the kitchen and we are downstairs for the most part. As for later the boys can play in their room or if/when we finish the basement they can go there to play.

I wouldn't feel guilty about not decorating or having a nursery...it's really such a short and passing stage/time, that with two kids I think you're time can be better spent decorating/organizing/reorganizing other spaces in your house.

ETA: Our first floor has DH's office, dining room, living room, kitchen, morning room. Our second floor has 3 bedrooms (master bedroom, the boys room and the guest room which we'll convert into a kid room) and a small little nook I suppose if we wanted we could set up an armchair and lamp for "quiet" reading or something. All our kids started out in our room.

[alexsmommy]

Maybe not at 6 months old, but by 8-9 months old? Sure. Once the baby is mobile (happened at 5 months for DS1, and DD2 is well on her to mobility, too), it becomes possible for the baby to start to interfere in the older kiddo's activities. Knocking down, messing up and mouthing toys are the earliest risks.

DS2 crawled at 5.5 months. The minute he was moblie he was able to crawl over and grab every chokable toy DS1 had. I was adamant we have a basement playroom before having DC3, in part for this reason. Big kid toys will be in the basement, baby toys on main floor. DS1 uses his bedroom for things he doesn't want DS2 to touch, but now DS2 is aging out of destroying something if you clearly tell him it's a "no touch".
Having said that, we will have four kids our four bedroom home and I'm not worried about DS1 & 2 sharing. I will keep DS2 in the "nursery" in the crib until this summer and DC3 will co-sleep until at least then (probably more like a year like my other DSs) and DSD will continue to have her own room.