Potluck Etiquette

[poppy]

I've always wondered about this and so I'll ask.

If you bring a dish to someone's house, do you normally take home the food you brought if there are leftovers? I understand that you take home the container you brought it in. I thought if you brought food over to the hosting party, you let them have the leftovers. Also, is it normal for the host to give you back your food if there are leftovers?

I can see how a host can offer leftover food for guests if there's a lot and pack it for them to take home, but I thought the food stays with the host for the most part.

I suppose I am just curious b/c when I lived in the EC, I don't remember anyone taking home their food once they brought it (I thought that was a little tacky) but with some ppl in CA, they actually either take their food back home or the host gives it back to its original owner. I brought dessert and the host gave it back to me, which surprised me. I brought it for them and meant for them to keep it since they were gracious enough to host.
Perhaps an individual thing, not a regional one, but just something I noticed and was curious about.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think it depends on how you know the host or where it is hosted. Like if it is church or school then take the leftovers because odds are they don't have anything to do with them.

If you are at the home of someone you don't know well and likely won't see again for a long time, I'd take the food just because it's the easiest way to get your container. I would feel weird asking them to take the food and give me my plate back on the spot.

If it's your friend, I'd probably leave and just claim the dish later.

I do like taking things in disposable containers so there is no reason to ask for anything back and I would leave everything behind (well, I might not if it was delicious). I don't think the host expects to keep the food so wouldn't be upset that you took the leftovers.

Beth

[poppy]

Actually, I don't want to take the food home b/c I brought it for them. It's a home situation, not church or anything. I guess I was surprised for them to give me back my food; made me think that they didn't like it.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I wouldn't take it personally. After a party I usually feel full and probably have too many leftovers. Maybe they didn't have space to store more? There could be lots of reasons.

Beth

[DrSally]

I wouldn't take it personally. After a party I usually feel full and probably have too many leftovers. Maybe they didn't have space to store more? There could be lots of reasons.

Beth

:yeahthat: I wouldn't take it personally either. There can be a lot of food left over after a pot luck, and not a lot of room left in the fridge. They also may have assumed you wanted it back, esp. if there was a lot. I tend to divide the leftovers btwn those that came. When people leave, they can take whatever they want.

[Andi98989]

We do whatever we can to keep people from leaving dessert leftovers at our house. It's way too tempting for us to over-indulge in it, so we'd rather not have it. It has nothing to do with whether or not it tastes good. :D

[TwinFoxes]

I think there's a difference between expecting to take it, and just accepting it if the host offers it to you. I'm a total California girl, and would never ask for a dish back. But I would understand if a host, faced with 10 dishes, tries to give them back to the giver, or anyone who expresses interest for that matter!

[kijip]

I think there's a difference between expecting to take it, and just accepting it if the host offers it to you. I'm a total California girl, and would never ask for a dish back. But I would understand if a host, faced with 10 dishes, tries to give them back to the giver, or anyone who expresses interest for that matter!

At shared events (the only ones I can think of are holidays- we don't host a lot of potlucks) I tend to pack up take-home boxes with some of everything for everyone unless I know they don't like it. For example, I send home everyone some turkey, vegetables, potatoes, roast, cranberries and pie but I leave out the greens if I know they don't eat them. But I keep some of everything too, LOL. If I kept it all, I would not be able to shut my fridge. I would not be offended if someone gave me my dish back.

[ett]

I offer it to the host to see if they want to keep it. Usually, the host does not want to keep it because they would have too much leftovers.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

I think there's a difference between expecting to take it, and just accepting it if the host offers it to you. I'm a total California girl, and would never ask for a dish back. But I would understand if a host, faced with 10 dishes, tries to give them back to the giver, or anyone who expresses interest for that matter!

:yeahthat: I never expect my food back, and prefer they keep it.But if they insist I take it, they insist.

[klwa]

I would be surprised at them KEEPING the food after a pot luck. Becuase of the too many leftovers thing others have mentioned.

[elephantmeg]

for me after a potluck everyone takes home their leftovers. But most of my potlucks are church things or whatever.

[wendibird22]

At gatherings w/ friends (usually a half dozen couples) I expect to leave leftovers. I usually bring the item in disposable containers, transfer to a serving dish, and the transfer back any leftovers. That way I don't have to worry about getting my dish at a later date. I especially do this if I think we'll be departing early. We once had a friend bring shrimp, had to leave a lot earlier than everyone else and took the remaining shrimp w/ him. They weren't leftovers cause we were still eating!

[poppy]

Thanks for the feedback. I just wondered.

When it's a big potluck, and it's too much food, that's understandable. Mainly, it's usually not too much food when it's at my SIL's place (we don't get along), b/c there's only a few of us, and she makes a big point of giving me back my food. I am rather sensitive about everything she does, b/c she's passive aggressive.

But I know ppl have done that in smaller potlucks out here so just wondered if I should be doing that too.

[lowrioh]

We have a monthly potluck with about 10-12 other couples in town and we always take our dish and leftovers home with us. It's just too complicated to coordinate who's container is whose etc.
In our case the hosts provide the desserts and everyone brings a dish to share and some sort of beverage. If there are a ton of dessert left, we often go home with some.

[vonfirmath]

Actually, I don't want to take the food home b/c I brought it for them. It's a home situation, not church or anything. I guess I was surprised for them to give me back my food; made me think that they didn't like it.

We always take our food back.

With my sister, we discuss if they'd like to keep some/take some of the other leftovers.

But generally, we take our leftovers home with us. It's very hard as the hosting family to eat up all the leftovers before they go bad and this way you don't have to worry about it.