What an outrage: Gay couple forcibly separated and possessions sold

[kijip]

http://blog.seattlepi.com/stepforward/archives/202464.asp

All of this happened despite power of attorney and health care decision directives. The surviving partner's cat was even taken. WTF?

[crl]

How horrific.

Catherine

[Ceepa]

I wonder what the county has to say about this and wonder if this has happened to any man-woman couples who were not married. As in would anyone's paperwork be upheld in this situation if the couple was not legally married? Is this a failing in the law, gross incompetence or were these people treated differently because they were gay? Any way it's sad.

[JElaineB]

I'm sick to my stomach. And crying.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

That is sickening.

I wonder how it works even for married couples who have to rely on the state for nursing home care, etc. Do you have to use up your assets first? I seem to think you do, maybe not. Let me look it up.

ETA - I tried looking up and it looks like this is a big topic, protecting assests and spending down to qualify for Medicare nursing home care.

One random article (http://ezinearticles.com/?Medicaid-Nursing-Home-Spend-Down-Program:-5-Year-Look-Back&id=458804) about it:

The new Tax Reduction Act of 2005 mandated that seniors spend-down all of their combined assets before the sick spouse can qualify into a nursing home. The act requires a 5-year look back for any transfers by seniors designed to deprive the state of those available resources to pay for the nursing home.
WHAT IS THE NURSING HOME SPEND-DOWN?
The spend-down provision is that "you must self pay" for your nursing home care with the sale of all your personal and real assets to the point of financial devastation of your life's savings driving you into financial destitution. Nursing home eligibility will be determined by your lack of any available resources designed specifically to punish/impoverish your healthy spouse.



One more thing, of course this is completely seperate from the obscenity of not letting the surviving partner visit as his life mate was dying. Of declaring the dying man as having no family. Of taking all the possessions of both men without even at least giving the surviving partner the rights of a family member.

[katydid1971]

:47: I can't believe it. How sad and scary for them both. What were the people involved thinking?!?!?! That's just terrible. The laws needs to change to protect all our citizens ASAP.

[Laurel]

This is in one of the most liberal counties in the U.S. too. When I first saw the story I thought, no way, that didn't happen in Sonoma County!

I am so glad this story is getting traction. Situations like this are why we need federal-level civil rights action on marriage equality. It can't be state-by-state and it can't be a collage of different legislation and "civil union" protections. Civil marriage needs to be the same, across the board, for everyone.

[larig]

Absolutely disgusting, does no one who was involved have any compassion? Seriously. I was so mad when I read this on Sunday.

[mommylamb]

This is terrible.

The other day, I was talking with a friend of mine who lives in Arkansas about the Arkansas law that passed last year prohibiting gay people from adopting. Apparently, the law goes so far that if you die and your sister is gay and you've set her as the guardian of your child in your will, that your child will be put in foster care against your wishes rather than placed with his/her own flesh and blood.

ETA: Just wanted to clarify that I haven't followed the progress on the Arkansas law at all, but this is what my friend told me.

[catroddick]

The other day, I was talking with a friend of mine who lives in Arkansas about the Arkansas law that passed last year prohibiting gay people from adopting. Apparently, the law goes so far that if you die and your sister is gay and you've set her as the guardian of your child in your will, that your child will be put in foster care against your wishes rather than placed with his/her own flesh and blood.

How can that be a law? That is insane! People suck...

[AnnieW625]

That is soo sad, but don't even get me started on what the State of California requires from insurance companies for people who die in a workers' comp. injury and what our company must pay the state. It's absurd.

[JTsMom]

So, so sad. :cry:

[elizabethkott]

This is just horrible and disgusting.

[JoyNChrist]

That's really terrible. I don't understand how things like this still happen in our country. I really don't get it.

[goldenpig]

That is so wrong.

[kijip]

I wonder what the county has to say about this and wonder if this has happened to any man-woman couples who were not married. As in would anyone's paperwork be upheld in this situation if the couple was not legally married? Is this a failing in the law, gross incompetence or were these people treated differently because they were gay? Any way it's sad.

I think it as a big of an outrage that elderly people are treated like this. Elderly people are treated with far less respect than they deserve.

What makes this especially bad is that the county had the auction and gave up their lease AFTER the a court ruled they could only access a bank account to cover care costs. And ALL belongings were sold, as though the surviving partner owned nothing in the shared home at all. THis was done without court approval, as the court had given the county limited access to a single account.

The claim does assert that comments stereotyping gays were made by county officials. I of course do not know if that is true or not.

[codex57]

This can't be legal. It's so far beyond legal that the officials involved should be personally liable for the damage they caused.

[himom]

This isn't the first time I've heard a story like this, and it isn't limited to gay or unmarried couples either. Elder care in this country is a disgrace. Those who do not have children to advocate for them are especially vulnerable, but I've seen some awful things happen to very sick elderly patients whose kids were helpless to do anything because of crushing government stipulations.

It used to be said the way a culture treats its old people is a direct reflection of their values, and I think that's still true. Here in the United States we are especially horrible at this. We need to do something about this now, not only because it's the decent thing to do, but also because our turn is coming up fast.

[mommyp]

This is unbelieveable. It makes me so mad.