It's times like this when I hate being a WOHM

[wendibird22]

Most days I enjoy going to work. I like what I do. I get paid well, have good benefits, and I get 2mos off each summer. I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM full time. But, the past few days have made me feel like a horrible mom for working.
1. DD1 bit a girl at preschool. Not a hard bite but teeth on skin. The teacher told DH that the girl she bit is actually one of the notorious biters. DD1 is also learning lots of other pleasant behaviors and the teacher even commented to DH that she feels bad that DD1 came to them in Feb. a sweet, well-behaved child and she's picking up all sorts of bad stuff from the other kids.

2. DD2 (5mos) is fighting a nasty ear infection that has required a 10-day abx, 2 abx shots, and now another 10-day course of abx to help clear. I've had to be home a few days with her and/or run her up to the ped ever few days.

So, I'm not exactly feeling like mom of the year right now.

[twowhat?]

I am sorry:( I am returning to work next week and the things you describe are exactly what makes the pit that sits in my stomach. I was a SAHM for 20 months. On the flip side, I had concerns about being a SAHM. My girls were very shy and it was very hard to get them out and about to meet other people and kids. They were very afraid to try new things, etc. They have been in preschool only a week and I have already seen how much braver they have become. They have also already been sick:(

You just do the best you can!

[wendibird22]

Yeah, I do think daycare is good for them for the most part. DD1 has been in some form of daycare since she was 3mos old. Her first 2 years were in a home care setting and she learned lots of manners and was in care with only a few other kids who were very well behaved. She's doing great in preschool with all the academic things and her confidence has soared and she is learning so much. But, she's the youngest in the class, and a follower, so she's a sponge for all the misbehavior too. Fun things like talking back, sticking her tongue out, etc. And she seems drawn to being friends with the worst offenders. We'll ask her who she played with and she tell us who and then she'll tell us that that child was "naughty" and what s/he did. Why not play with the nice kids????

And my pediatrician assures me that the kids she sees who are at home are no less sick than those in daycare. Which I know. But still, kind of feel crummy for exposing my baby to all those abx resistant germs.

[twowhat?]

And my pediatrician assures me that the kids she sees who are at home are no less sick than those in daycare. Which I know. But still, kind of feel crummy for exposing my baby to all those abx resistant germs.

Really??? That makes me feel a little better - I am just bracing for the months and months of dealing with back-to-back illnesses. They have only been sick maybe 5 times while I was a SAHM. But yeah, daycare breeds those nasty abx resistant bugs.

How do the teachers handle misbehavior at your DD's school? I wonder if they're not nipping it in the bud as much as they should...

[fortato]

You know, I'm a SAHM, and Jack started preschool this year- two days a week, for 2.5 hours a day.... and the things you said have happened to your DDs, happened to Jack this year. You can't blame it on being a WOHM. These things happen either way.

You just have to do the best you can with the time you have with them.... Huge hugs.

(And for some reason, Jack always plays with the kid that seems to cause the most trouble- or the kid that hits him- why do they do that???!!??)

[wendibird22]

(And for some reason, Jack always plays with the kid that seems to cause the most trouble- or the kid that hits him- why do they do that???!!??)

Yes, sooooo frustrating!

I think the school does a decent job with behavior issues. Unfortunately the 2 or 3 kids who are the worst are the ones DD1 hangs out with most. And it only takes one kid doing one thing once and my DD has added it to her repertoire!

And I think the ped is correct because honestly I don't think most SAHM stay home and locked inside with their kids all day every day. So, if you have your kids in play groups and music class and go to the park, they are going to pick up germs.

I guess I just sometimes think I'd rather my kid pick up a virus having done something fun w/ mommy or daddy rather than because they were stuck in a room with another sick kid because mommy wanted to work.

[pinkmomagain]

And my pediatrician assures me that the kids she sees who are at home are no less sick than those in daycare.


I have to say that this has not been my experience. My oldest was way sicker in daycare than my other two girls combined who were not in daycare - even once entering preschool.

That being said, we all do what we have to do....and we all doubt ourselves at times, SAHM or not.

Hope things improve quickly!

[StantonHyde]

yes, but just wait till kindergarten and first grade. My son missed, maybe, 2-3 days of school the entire year. He has been in daycare since he was 3 mos old and really didn't get all that sick at daycare. He has great immunities now!! I know that there are some kids who get back to back illnesses while being in daycare (a few kids at our center left to be with nannies because the parents couldn't keep taking off work). But that doesn't mean your child will be that sick.

I would worry about stuff that requires doctor visits and abx, but the snotty nose and coughing stuff? Heck, that was sort of all winter for my kids throughout the day care years. This was the first year (DD is 4) that we didn't have that!

[niccig]

I'm a SAHM and I know many children that stay at home that get sick all the time. One friend's DD has constant ear infections as a baby and toddler, to the point the she had hearing loss and needed tubes. Another SAHM friend has two DS and they are always sick, always. I do think some kids just get sicker than other kids. I'm sorry she's not getting better, and I hope the next round of antibotics works.

As for behaviour, I know two boys that have a SAHM and they beat the neighbour's dog with a stick. So behaviour is another thing that isn't solely dependent on whether the parents work or stay at home. DS started preschool at age 3 and we've had to have conversations about not doing things that you know are wrong, and it doesn't matter if someone else is doing it. All kids have to go through this.

It sounds like it's been a crappy few weeks. I hope next week is better.

[cvanbrunt]

Sorry you are having a bad week. It has nothing to do with you being a WOHM. What you are experiencing is what I like to call "life". :) Hope next week is better.

[mommylamb]

Agree with other posters, these things are just the things that happen, and they happen to everyone working or not.

As for kids getting sick, I think it just depends on how susceptible kids are to sickness. My DS has been in daycare since he was 6 months old and I can count on one hand how many times we've had to take him in for a sick child visit. Seriously, I took him to the ped a couple weeks ago and it was the first time (other than his well child visit and his flu shot) in over a year. And the ped laughed at me and told me he had a little cold. There was nothing really wrong with him.

[gatorsmom]

Most days I enjoy going to work. I like what I do. I get paid well, have good benefits, and I get 2mos off each summer. I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM full time. But, the past few days have made me feel like a horrible mom for working.
1. DD1 bit a girl at preschool. Not a hard bite but teeth on skin. The teacher told DH that the girl she bit is actually one of the notorious biters. DD1 is also learning lots of other pleasant behaviors and the teacher even commented to DH that she feels bad that DD1 came to them in Feb. a sweet, well-behaved child and she's picking up all sorts of bad stuff from the other kids.

2. DD2 (5mos) is fighting a nasty ear infection that has required a 10-day abx, 2 abx shots, and now another 10-day course of abx to help clear. I've had to be home a few days with her and/or run her up to the ped ever few days.

So, I'm not exactly feeling like mom of the year right now.

I'm sorry you are feeling down. I haven't read the other comments but wanted to say that what you are describing is normal even for a SAHM. Honestly all kids go through that stuff, it really has nothing to do with being a WOHM. And I wanted to add too, that just because your DD1 is testing out some new behaviors now, it certainly doesn't mean she won't go back to being the sweet, well-behaved child you knew before. BTDT with my kids. You are doing great, mama. :hug:

[wendibird22]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate it.
I have just 2 more weeks until my summer vacation and lots and lots of time with my girls. I'm sure I'll be posting here by mid-July that I can't wait to get back to work cause I need a mommy break! :p