Advice/Tips for Pregnant Teen

[GonnaBeNana]

Greetings fellow boardies,

Our daughter is almost 18 and expecting her first child in November. Not planned, and she's not married. At this point, she and the baby's father are together and plan on raising the baby together. I am looking for some tips/advice on ways they can save money, cut costs, better prepare, etc. It's often received better when it comes from someone other than mom; although she's been very receptive thus far. All help is greatly appreciated!

Beth

[sste]

Is she working or going to college or SAH? What are her plans for childcare? For us, the cost of childcare has dwarfed every other expense and it is worth her figuring out a good home daycare or other low-cost option well in advance.

Does she have healthcare? This is another one that can lead to a lifetime of debt if you want a hospital delivery and have no insurance.

You/she should ask everyone you know if they are getting rid of babystuff and start with donations (except do not accept a used crib or car seat or even high chair, those are safety issues).

Do you have an ikea nearby? They have inexpensive cribs and also inexpensive high chairs (there is an all-white one I have always wanted).

Do not buy a single item of infant clothing - - gifts will pour in and excellent condition newborn clothes are available everywhere, CL, garage sales, etc.

You should post sep. on the stroller forum with an idea of where you live (urban, rural) and your daughter's lifestyle (car/mall or lots of walking outside) and those posters will give you excellent tips for a used stroller. With strollers the key to saving money is to buy ONE good one the first time around.

Congratulation on the new grandbaby!

[lizzywednesday]

BTDT with my sister, although she's a little older than your DD. (My sister's DS will be 1 this November!)

The biggest thing she has to do is focus on her LO no matter what happens with her BF. My sister & her BF seem to break up at least once a month, but they'd each lie down in traffic if it'd help their DS!

I'd also encourage her to start looking into state & county resources for health insurance and other programs (i.e. - daycare, WIC, etc.) for herself & the LO. Many states' programs are awesome but require a LOT of phone & in-person visits to get things moving. My sister hit a lot of bureaucratic red tape getting her stuff together, so she should be prepared to handle that, too.

Good luck!

[dotgirl]

From a "Frugal Tips" perspective, there are a tonne of "Living Frugally" blogs and websites out there - she might check out FrugalGirl and some of her links.

Congratulations!

[Cuckoomamma]

Congratulations to all of you. A baby brings so many happy moments that we just never would have had time for otherwise :-).

Freecycle is a great resource. Your dd could start checking now for things she needs. Our regional freecycle includes a fairly wealthy area, and I know people who have signed up for this area in order to take advantage of the great things that people are giving away for free. She could also post an ISO for specific items. I have a friend whose mom works with troubled teens and she wanted a pool table for them. Several people came forward and said they'd donate their pool tables. There might be a lot of people who would want to help out a young mom, if she wanted to include that in her ISO.

I'd also suggest nursing and cloth diapering. Again, many of the CD mammas I know would love to help a young mother and would donate their stash if they're done with it. I just gave away two large bags of diapers and inserts myself. She could place ISO's on different boards or check on MDC or the babywearer. Sometimes people offer things for free just for the price of shipping. Again, it depends on the group, but I know of moms in my LLL group who have given away a trunk full of baby paraphanalia to other moms who just happen to show up at a meeting.

All the best to your family.

[GonnaBeNana]

WOW! I'm so grateful for the quick and helpful responses! Quick update. She is covered under our insurance for all prenatal care and for the delivery. The baby isn't covered under our policy however. She is still in HS and won't graduate until December or January. Her BF is in HS too and won't graduate until next May. For some strange reason, she doesn't want to apply for Medicaid if it means they will require child support from the BF. Not sure why this is, but we're trying to encourage her to get at least this. She is opposed to getting housing too and wants to rent an apartment with another couple to save money. They've looked into this a bit. We're trying to encourage her to stay at home at least through the new year so she can recover from the pregnancy. We have a Baby Tenda table from when our kids were little and it's checked out fine, so she can use that for now. We also have a pack-n-play that will suffice as a crib for now too. We've purchased an infant car seat and stroller frame for her as a gift as we knew these were the most expensive items and not things to get used, etc. She is VERY grateful (a new attitude for her too!).

She is currently working at a daycare center, but even with an employee discount, it would be very expensive to leave her child there. I can watch the child until I go back to work in January (I'm a tax adviser), but after that, she will need to find alternate care.

Thanks again for all the advice, and keep it coming!!!

Beth

[sste]

gonnnabenana, have your daughter read this thread and get her baby signed up for whatever state health insurance is available NOW. My husband works in a hospital and there are positively heart-breaking stories of babies born prematurely, with heart defects, needing NICU stays . . . and mom was covered for delivery but not the baby's health care. The hospital does NOT just forgive those bills which can easily run to tens of thousands of dollars. They set up payment plans and people pay until they retire or die. Even the ability to declare bankruptcy in these situations is now sharply limited by federal law. And, some hospitals will transfer the baby out to cheaper, and often far less expert care. That would be a devastating experience to not be able to get the best, life-saving care for your newborn and follow-up care as the baby grows . . .

[Claki]

Something I didn't know was that WIC is not just free cheese and milk, but they have wonderful breastfeeding resources. And you don't have to be on WIC to use them (at least in my state). The hospital where I delivered has a lactation program but I wasn't thrilled with them... On paper they were great but their knowledge was dated and their advice exacerbated my oversupply issues. So if your daughter plans on breastfeeding she might want to keep WIC in mind as a resource. Also I believe they give out free pumps if you are actually enrolled in WIC.

[Tondi G]

Another wonderful resource is LLL, La Leche League. She should find a local group go to one or 2 meetings before the baby is born. Usually she will find very helpful knowledgeable ladies who can be a great help/support once the baby has arrived... especially if she breast feeds her baby! Here ya go http://www.lllusa.org/web/MNDak.html

http://www.meetup.com/Greater-Grand-Forks-Area-Mommy-Milk-Meetup-Group/

http://www.newcomersclub.com/nd.html

A childbirth class is a good idea as is a newborn parenting class and support group!

WIC is a wonderful thing http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/default.htm

I second the recommendation of trying to get her and baby on Medicaid or state assisted health insurance plan. You never know what could happen and she will be thankful it is all in place before the baby is born.... we all know how crazy life is in the 1st month.... she doesn't want to scrambling around trying to fill out paperwork and making sure it gets to the right place etc. while caring for a newborn and being sleep deprived.

[kijip]

Generally Medicaid does not mean that the father has to being paying support. If she were to get TANF the state can (and IMO should) require child support from the dad. For that matter, your daughter should not let him off the hook on paying child support, even if it is modest. I have a friend who is my age. His son was born when he was still in high school. He has never missed a single child support payment, even when he earned very little. Fathers have obligations and while statistically it is most likely that he will distance himself and not pay support, that does not mean she should make it the expectation that he has not financial obligation to the baby. Living with another couple frankly sounds like a bad idea to me, unless they are also parents. Being at home with you or getting into affordable housing gives her the best shot at staying in school and going to college.

I would encourage her to read:

The Hip Mama Survival Guide (written by Ariel Gore, whose child was born when she was 19).

http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-True-Story-Teenage-Single/dp/0786864206

I would also encourage her to join a support group for young mothers. Parenting is hard in any circumstance, but perhaps hardest at that age.

[zag95]

Good advice from many prev posters- I too recommend that she get and apply for all insurances/assistances she can, for both herself and the baby.

If she is planning on breastfeeding or trying, you and she may also look at having insurance pay for the breast pump. Ours paid for most of it..... for some people it is a "medical necessity" to have a pump- if baby has feeding issues, etc. Just another tip.

GL!

[lizzywednesday]

gonnnabenana, have your daughter read this thread and get her baby signed up for whatever state health insurance is available NOW. My husband works in a hospital and there are positively heart-breaking stories of babies born prematurely, with heart defects, needing NICU stays . . . and mom was covered for delivery but not the baby's health care. The hospital does NOT just forgive those bills which can easily run to tens of thousands of dollars. They set up payment plans and people pay until they retire or die. Even the ability to declare bankruptcy in these situations is now sharply limited by federal law. And, some hospitals will transfer the baby out to cheaper, and often far less expert care. That would be a devastating experience to not be able to get the best, life-saving care for your newborn and follow-up care as the baby grows . . .

FWIW, my sister ran into something like this with her son, though he was full-term - his coverage expired under her plan & he had his 1-month wellbaby visit before the new insurance kicked in. She now has full-price doctor bills to handle in addition to wanting to move out and handle car payments, etc.

In my own case, when our DD was born with a congenital heart defect (dx @ 21wks gestation), she was immediately admitted to the hospital's CICU ... and our insurance almost denied the claim! DH & I had to scramble to get her added to our insurance policy so her care would be covered!!

[lizzywednesday]

WOW! I'm so grateful for the quick and helpful responses! Quick update. She is covered under our insurance for all prenatal care and for the delivery. The baby isn't covered under our policy however. ... For some strange reason, she doesn't want to apply for Medicaid if it means they will require child support from the BF. Not sure why this is, but we're trying to encourage her to get at least this. ...
She is currently working at a daycare center, but even with an employee discount, it would be very expensive to leave her child there. I can watch the child until I go back to work in January (I'm a tax adviser), but after that, she will need to find alternate care.

Thanks again for all the advice, and keep it coming!!!

Beth

Many states have children's health insurance programs as a public service. NJ, NY and PA are three (off the top of my head) that make a big deal about their plans. My sister participates in the NJ plan for my nephew.

Medicaid is another option, but if your state has a kids' insurance program (check with your state dep't of health & human services) it's not contingent upon child support or any other crap like that. (Encourage your daughter to get the fact straight from the agency, not from hearsay or other people's experiences. Each case is different!!!!)

Lastly, as for the daycare, again, many states have programs at the county level that you have to apply for months in advance of intending to use them. My sister did this for my nephew and he's got a great daycare at a county-subsidized rate. Though it is still costly, it's not face value. I cannot emphasize enough about how your daughter needs to check into county and state programs for this too!!!

(FWIW, my sister just turned 24 and works as a dayroom aide for critically ill children in an extended care facility/nursing home. She makes an OK income, but still manages to qualify for the county and state programs to help with her son. Those programs are there to help EVERYONE who needs them; the hardest part is asking the right questions to get the right information and forms.)

Lastly, any forms she fills out should be photocopied and saved in case the agency mysteriously "loses" the form when it is faxed, mailed or dropped off in person.

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

Seriously-your teenage high school daughter got pregnant and you're letting her make decisions regarding your grandchilds healthcare and living situation when she's obviously not making the best ones?

She needs to get on wic and/or foodstamps as soon as possible. If she's not going to continue to live with you then how else is she going to provide for this child? Day cares don't pay that well.

She needs to get on medicaid for her child. Not only will she get nailed with costs for care at the hospital but what does she think? That vaccinations are free? The pediatricians office will charge her for it. Just because she doesn't want her boyfriend to pay child support she's not filing for it? This is an immature decision and one that you as her parent should not be allowing in my opinion and not in the best interest of your grandchilds welfare.

I'm sorry to be harsh but I just see several errors in judgement here.

By the way-My oldest was in the nicu for 5 days and her medical costs were $35,000. And that was 7 years ago so you could double it now. Get your grandchild health coverage.

[GonnaBeNana]

Seriously-your teenage high school daughter got pregnant and you're letting her make decisions regarding your grandchilds healthcare and living situation when she's obviously not making the best ones?

She needs to get on wic and/or foodstamps as soon as possible. If she's not going to continue to live with you then how else is she going to provide for this child? Day cares don't pay that well.

She needs to get on medicaid for her child. Not only will she get nailed with costs for care at the hospital but what does she think? That vaccinations are free? The pediatricians office will charge her for it. Just because she doesn't want her boyfriend to pay child support she's not filing for it? This is an immature decision and one that you as her parent should not be allowing in my opinion and not in the best interest of your grandchilds welfare.

I'm sorry to be harsh but I just see several errors in judgement here.

By the way-My oldest was in the nicu for 5 days and her medical costs were $35,000. And that was 7 years ago so you could double it now. Get your grandchild health coverage.

Harshness aside, I completely understand your point. It's not so much that we're "letting" her make decisions, but rather, she's legally allowed to do so and we can't do anything to stop her. We ARE definitely trying to guide and influence her decisions however because we love her dearly and of course want what's only best for her and our grandchild. She's been receptive to our discussions and ideas so far and we'd like to keep it that way by working with her instead of against her. She is going to have to find some things out the hard way unfortunately and we are willing to let that be as long as it doesn't endanger her or the baby in anyway.

I do applaud her desire to stay off of as much government aid as possible while still providing for her child. Our country is in peril because of too many government handouts now. She may in fact need them for awhile and that's OK, but she's hoping to come to a place where she can raise this baby independently.

We are looking into the insurance programs, WIC, foodstamps, etc. I am really hoping to gain some practical advise for her as far as cost-cutting measures, etc. Posters here have been great thus far and I appreciate it. Keep it coming.

Beth

[Katigre]

I would encourage her to research her prenatal care and birth decisions so that she feels part of her medical team instead of just having to do whatever the doctor says. I might have her watch "Business of Being Born" with her boyfriend too and enourage them to be involved together in bringing their baby into the world. A positive birth experience can help encourage a father to stick around too.

[maestramommy]

You've gotten a lot of advice already regarding insurance and such. One thing I would add to pp tip about LLL. If there is any way she can swing it to get as much breastfeeding support as possible, esp. in the beginning. If she is planning on finishing school, she'll need practical advice on how to continue bfing. I say this because formula is EXPENSIVE any way you cut it, and every oz of breastmilk she can provide her baby will mean another oz she doesn't have to buy. Maybe she can find a local LLL and attend some meetings this summer and before the baby is born.

I would hold off on buying something like a high chair until it's actually needed, and then I would buy a booster seat that can be strapped to a chair. They are much cheaper and work very well. We have used booster seats with all of our kids as a space saving measure, but it works out in dollars as well. This is an item I would buy secondhand. We bought one from a moms group garage sale and it's perfectly safe. I would also hold off on buying an actual stroller until the baby is much older. Since you have already bought the stroller frame for the carseat, I would go back to LLL and ask if they have know of any local babywearing groups who can loan out baby carriers. There will probably be babywearers in the LLL group as well who can help her find affordable carriers. I'm saying this because I bought a mid priced very nice stroller that has hardly seen any use because my first child hate strollers until she was well over a year old. I ended up wearing her most of the time. To this day it bugs me that we have this very nice stroller that has barely been used:p

[hellbennt]

she can look at www.thebabywearer.com/forum (http://www.thebabywearer.com/forum)

and look there for all kinds of general parenting advice, too, not 'just' babywearing - but as the pp says: babywearing would be great!

there is a forum there called Babywearers Near You where she can look up to find a local babywearing group- if she's not 'into' it, then you can! wear that baby, grandma:hug:!

oh, also someone posted recently a cool-looking site Care calendar (http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=359079&highlight=care+calendar)

[alexsmommy]

Seriously-your teenage high school daughter got pregnant and you're letting her make decisions regarding your grandchilds healthcare and living situation when she's obviously not making the best ones?


I'm sorry to be harsh but I just see several errors in judgement here.



I think it's very easy to assume one will have "control" over a teenager decision if one does everything "right", only to find out, they are autonmous humans who can and often will do whatever they please, in spite of being guided down a better/easier path.
I see many upset, sad, disappointed, angry parents who find out that they don't have the level of influence or outright dictatorship over their children that they assumed they would. Sarah Palin is a great example - I'm would bet money she told Bristol to lose Levi long before she saw the light and actually did. This is after raising her in a home that did not condone premarital sex in any way. It think the OP should be applauded in her attempt to find a way to offer her daughter some advice in a different way that she may be more open to hearing.


I want to completely agree with the PP's who said you should look into the insurance situation now. I would hope that your daughter would see that this isn't mom trying to tell her what to do, but mom working to make sure that whatever decisions she makes, she won't find herself starting off her adult life 100K+ in debt if, heaven forbid, something does not go as expected.
I find with my own teen stepdaughter, writing a letter instead of a conversation (which she interprets as a lecture) often has more impact. Maybe you could write down your suggestions and see if she is open to them. Best of luck.

[mom2binsd]

Congratulations!

I was thinking about how to get her to value your opinion, and if she sees that it's just not you but others that may help, without her feeling like she's being ganged up on. If she invites you to any of her OB app'ts you could also ask the OB questions, and that may open the door for the OB to provide suggestions too, often taking advice from a doctor seems easier than from mom!

I'm sure it's a very tough situation to watch, our perspective of life and what we want is so different as a teen, the world and all of it's responsibilites and consequences just don't make sense. I'm sure she has no idea what a 10K or 30K hospital bill can do to your life, or for that matter even the actual costs of raising a baby are, how could she, she's never had to experience that. So be patient, and hopefully she'll begin to trust your common sense and experience.

Exposing her to as many positive momma role models will be very important, her friends are possibly caught up in the cute baby clothes aspect of having a baby, but were it involved just that we'd all be chillin!

Not to stir up any controversy, but when I began BF I did attend a LLL meeting, but was very turned off, I ended up finding an absolutely wonderful lactation consultant who was just the right fit for me. I know many find LLL very helpful, but others find them to be sometimes overwhelming. If she decides to BF, if she needs support try a variety of LC's if you're not happy with the hospital ones.

If you can, maybe have her join the boards, if you're comfortable with her seeing your posts, (so far you haven't posted anything that is negative about her though).

Does your community offer any parenting classes to teen parent? That might be helpful, most are free. They might offer financial planning help too.

As far as cost cutting:

Go to consignment shops for maternity clothing, watch for the twice yearly big children's consignment sales for baby and maternity stuff. She's young so leggings and a tunic will work and be stylish!

The baby doesn't really need that much at all to begin with. Lots of things like swings etc are nice but can be found second hand. Since you already got the carseat she's set. I agree a pack n play is fine to start with, sometimes it's nice to get an extra piece of foam fitted for under the mattress.

Have her pare down things like cell phone expenses, eating out, any other luxuries. If she's like most teens, they all seem to have their nails done, hair done etc...

Have her start to track her spending and begin to price check budget busters things like diapers/wipes etc. (whether it's cloth or disposible). Do not buy ahead though as you end up with too many of the newborn dipes etc.

[hillview]

I think for any new mom finding a group of other new moms in real life is really key. Is there a young mom's group she can join?

WRT saving, I agree BFing saves a lot of money. Formula is $$$. Find some friends or neighbors etc who might have older kids and want to donate items they don't need any more. Scour garage sales! Seriously good deals to be had. Get some new mom books from the library (most of them are a read once deal). There are a bunch of things you don't really NEED (for me monitor, matchy nursery items, wipe warmer, bottle warmer, etc). So I'd be more inclined to get the essentials car sear, snap and go carrier (often available used for cheap), diapers, a crib (we used a pack and play for the first 3 months), some clothes (hand me downs or from a yard sale etc), some sort of carrier (borrow from a friend or used -- I like the ergo but there are a lot of options). I think she makes a list of what she NEEDS then she could not buy items that are not on that list. Also register for a range of things (price range) from BRU or some other store that has diapers and other items she may want to exchange for.

Good luck!
/hillary

[MamaMolly]

Congrats, Nana! Congrats to your daughter, too! :)

I have to chime in with agreement about the breastfeeding. My older DD had food allergies and I can't tell you how much money we saved by having me breastfeed (on an elimination diet) compared to special formula. Regular formula would have been a budget buster for us, so I can't imagine the costs of elemental formula. And just in case, she ought to know that breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone. I didn't even like it at first, but got used to it. This is something I didn't expect so I thought it worth a mention. ;)

Also, please share this with her: There is NO SHAME in getting help. I personally think it takes strength and courage to ask for help. Tell her to sign up for any program she can get into for her bunchkin. She won't need it forever but it can make a lifetime of difference, especially the medical care. DD1 came at 36 weeks after a completely normal, healthy pregnancy. She was admitted to the NICU, and the insurance company tried to deny paying for it saying she didn't get pre-admitted. We had to fight a $5K bill, and they finally paid after several months of back and forth.

We were financially tight when our first was born. I bought almost all her baby gear used from thrift stores, Craig's List, Freecycle, and consignment shops. And I got really nice stuff!

Good luck, and best wishes for the family!

[JBaxter]

You have gotten alot of info about wic insurance etc. Having a teenager they are young adults and as much as we dont want to happen you have to let them try it on their own. If she wants to rent a room with the baby then just make sure she knows the people well no smoking in the apt around the baby. Yard sales are GREAT places to fine bouncy chairs, toys,clothes boppys bath tubs wipe warmers etc. I would encourage breastfeeding but if it doesnt happen then alot of children were raised on formula including some of mine. We have a couple of kids yardsale/ consignment sales around here keep a watch for those ( kids only stuff)

Hugs to you Nana I have a 18 yr old myself I hope she makes all the right choices and Im sure you will have a little safety net if she needs it.

FYI she can sign up for WIC now while she is pregnant.

[ewpmsw]

Best wishes to you and your daughter, Nana! I agree with pp's who suggested waiting to make a lot of larger purchases. Freecycle, Craigslist, thrift stores and consignment are great options for the necessities. Lots of churches have children's consignment sales, esp. in the spring and fall. My region's local, online mom's board (which falls under The Mommy Network) has forums on a variety of topics, including resources, parenting, connecting with other moms, even a young moms' group. It's a great way to meet local moms and share information on local and other resources. I don't see a TMN group in ND, but there is likely something similar where you live. Search under mom's groups or mom's clubs.

Has your daughter considered using a midwife, if it's an option? It's something I recommend, esp. for a young, first time mom. I've used a midwife practice for both pregnancies and love the extra attention and time, as well as the resources and information I've found through my midwives. It's really helped kick the anxiety down a few notches. With this second pregnancy, I'm particpating in a centering pregnancy group, which is like a birth education class + support group for expecting moms. The women in the group educate and support one another, in addition to the midwives facilitating conversation. Centering models are gaining in popularity, so there may be one in your area. The group I belong to is very diverse - Ages range from 20 to 40ish. While it will probably be useful for your daughter to connect with other moms close to her own age, IMO it could also be valuable to interact with other ones who are older, where the topic goes beyond "young mother" issues and into motherhood, and she can get a broader range of advice/support.

Sending prayers and good thoughts your family's way. :)

[sariana]

I have no advice to add to the excellent advice PPs have given. I just want to say that you are an AWESOME mom for being so supportive of your daughter in this difficult time.

[conniez]

Congrats to you & your daughter! I married DH & had DD1 when we were very young and while my parents didn't agree with my decisions, they were very supportive (well, later on at least)! It's great that you are not being judgmental and that you're being supportive...I remember when I told my parents I was pregnant, well - the first words that came out of my dad's mouth were not very nice :( Medi-cal and WIC as pp's have told you are great resources for a young mom! She definitely should not be ashamed to take advantage of these while she needs them; that's why these programs were instituted in the first place. Good luck with everything and will be wishing her a stress-free pregnancy & safe delivery when the time comes! :)

[MoJo]

Has she asked at the school?

I have a friend who is a counselor to teenage moms; she visits several local high schools and is a great resource. If she has admitted to the school that she is pregnant, she could ask the counselor if there is such a person in her district.

Also, she could ask a trusted teacher. My DH is a high school teacher, and we occasionally get email requests from other staff members because a family in is need. Many times we don't even know who (although in her case it might be obvious). These requests always result in a large number of donations being gathered for the one in need. . . and the requests have been for everything from clothes to furniture.

Kudos to you, nana, for trying to help her in a way that she will respond positively to, and kudos to her for realizing she needs to be grateful for the help.

[GonnaBeNana]

The great tips keep pouring in. Thanks again! Her school is aware that she is expecting. She attends an "alternative" high school that only has about 90 kids or so enrolled. They only take two classes at a time (3 hours each day per class) and it's limited to 15 students per course at a time. Her counselor is good and she's planning on enrolling in the courses at our hospital too. She's also attending weekly classes at our local Women's Pregnancy Center. It's called Earn While You Learn and she meets one on one with a nurse each week. They view a specific video each week and she has assignment to complete. She gets one point each for attending class, doing her homework, going to OB appointments, WIC, childbirth class, and even church each week. She can redeem these points at the center for baby supplies, etc. She's really enjoying it too.

If anyone has any on line sites or other places she might sign up for coupons, or find good prices that would be great.

Thanks again for all your help!

Nana

[hellbennt]

coupons:
www.neverpayretailagain.net
is a great resource (is jodi a member here?)
and, from the site, there's a yahoo group to join & a
facebook group, too

plus the bargain forum here, lol:p

[ourbabygirl]

Just wanted to chime in and add that, if she has time in her schedule (maybe at least in the summer) she could join an ECFE class or two. They have a variety of topics, and I've loved mine for meeting parents in my town. It's so nice to get together weekly with a group of moms with kids the same age; a lot of times you end up growing together and going on to the next age up classes together. It's very low cost (or possibly free, if you tell the school district your financial situation) and great for bonding with your baby. You talk about the ups and downs of parenting, learn little songs and things and sing them there to your baby, also the baby gets to play with lots of fun toys (just teethers and mirrors and stuff at first, then other stuff as they get older). They also have experts in the community come in to talk about car seat safety, baby-proofing your home, things to watch out for in the summer and around the holidays (sunburn, bug bites, deer ticks, poisonous plants, pet dangers, etc.). Our school district sends out an ECFE catalog with the course listings each season, but if you're not on their mailing list, you might want to call and request a catalog (you can usually access it online, too, if they have that).

Good luck and here's to a healthy, happy, full-term (or as close to it as possible!) pregnancy and a healthy baby in the fall! Congratulations! :)

[SnuggleBuggles]

Learn about her body, her baby and all the things she will need to be fully informed about (pregnancy, birth, feeding choices...). There is no need to just hand over control to anyone because she is young. A good friend of mine had her ds when she was 17 and though I didn't meet her till she was 23 I was always impressed by how together she was, what a good mom she was and this was backed up by her awesome kiddo and the people (her parents included) who knew her back then.

I think so many pg teens will just let themselves be guided through the whole process without really thinking about it. But, some choose to get empowered about it and really want to be highly involved. I'd encourage her to take that angle. There are some choices that may increase a c-section, for example, and while she might not care now it might carry consequences that she might care about when she continues her family in the future.

Beth

[VClute]

I don't really have any money-saving tips, but I would look for a TeenMOPS program in your area. I volunteer occasionally with a TeenMOPS program here and I think it's a great way to make young women feel appreciated and respected as mothers, no matter how they came to be one.