A little annoyed with daycare, should I be?

[Krisrich]

DD1 is in day care 3 days/week. She is not quite 18 months old. She is supposed to transition to the toddler room at 19 months. Well, today I found out that she spent more than half of the day in the toddler room- ate lunch there, napped there, and was outside with the toddlers when DH picked her up. I know she has been making brief visits to the toddler room, but this seemed like a bit much without first discussing it with me and DH. I also don't see why she needs to be spending so much time there already, when the transition is officially over a month away. And, I really think that someone should have discussed DD's eating lunch in the toddler room with me BEFORE it happened because DD1 has a significant sesame allergy. It hasn't really been an issue im the baby room, but I am more concerned that in the toddler room she might swipe some hummus off of someone else's plate. I was hoping we could ask the other parents not to send in hummus before DD's transition.

All of this is also complicated by the fact that I am actually looking for a nanny right now, since I have a littler baby at home and have realized that I would prefer not to have to pack up both babies to daycare when my mom gives up taking care of the little one. I was hoping not to have to transition DD1 to the toddler room and then again to the nanny, if we find one. So, I was shocked to find out that the transition had already taken place in such a significant way today.

Anyway, am I being over-protective? DH did say that the toddler teacher mentioned that she wants to meet with us soon. I just feel like that should have happened before DD spent so much time there today. If I am right, how should I address this? I hate being confrontational with the people who take care of DD!

Thanks.

[Green_Tea]

Perhaps they were a bit understaffed today and decided to let your DD have a test run to even out the numbers a bit? Or maybe there were a few kids out in that room and they thought it might be a good day for DD to visit? Honestly, if your DD had a great day there and was happy, I don't think it's that big of a deal. I wouldn't make a fuss about it, but would mention that your daughter's allergy is significant so they are hyper aware in the future.

[wellyes]

I wouldn't be mad about that. From the daycare's perspective, in 12 days or less (3 days/week x 4) she'll be in the toddler room full time, completely away from the teachers and kids she knows. A 1/2 day in the 'new' room once a week sounds like a very reasonable transition. It takes some kids that age a lot of face-time & visits with new teachers to get really comfortable and it's ideal to do it when they can send her back to the infant room if she starts getting anxious.

I think it's much more frequent for toddlers to get stuck in the baby room waaaay past when they're supposed to be -- waiting for a slot to open up in the toddler room.

The allergy thing: I'm sure it's on their records - but I've never been to a daycare where parents brought in food so I'm not sure how that works.

The nanny thing: if you think there is a good chance you'll not actually transition her to the toddler room, I'd just be upfront about it with the staff. No reason to put the potential stress on your DD if it's likely for nothing.

[Krisrich]

OK, looks like I over-reacted. Been known to do that from time to time...:) Thank you for your perspective!

I wish I knew whether or not we will actually find a nanny. I am happy with the daycare generally and will only go for a nanny if we find someone we LOVE. We just aren't having much luck with our search.

[mommy111]

I'd say they're actually doing a great job looking out for your DD and making sure her transition will be a smooth and happy process. I had to repeatedly ASK our daycare to do that to DD so that she doesn't have a sudden traumatic adjustment to the next room when she was that age.

[KpbS]

I would be a little upset wanting to know in advance that your DD was going to start spending a lot of time in a new room but much more upset b/c of the sesame allergy. I would review her allergies w/ the staff and director ASAP and then consider asking about a restriction on hummus in the classroom.

[AshleyAnn]

I'd be upset about the fact they didn't tell me it was beginning or offer me the chance to meet with the new teacher but I think a half day is reasonable transition time. Much better than just tearing her away from her regular room in one sweep like they do at DN's daycare.

I guess I can't get to riled up over the allergy because hummus isn't popular enough here to worry me. I've only know one person who ate it and that was only during religious fasting times. I honestly didn't realize seasame was in hummus so you might want to ensure the new teachers know that.

[khalloc]

Honestly, I think you are overreacting. They need to transition your DD over there slowly so that she gets used to the routine, etc...I guess it would have been nice if you got a heads up. But I certainly wouldnt be upset about it. You could express your concerns about her allergy though, as a reason you wished they had told you about it first.

I may be wrong here, but I dont know that a daycare will restrict something like hummus. Our daycare does restrict peanut products, but other kids have allergies to other foods (milk, eggs, strawberries, etc...) and the daycare just has large signs on the toddler fridge that will say the kids' name and then what they cannot have like

"Abbie - NO EGGS"

If your daycare is good they will make sure your DD does not get someone else's food.