View Full Version : What do you do when DH doesn't like your friends' DH?
08-26-2010, 12:27 AM
So I've befriended some new moms over the summer through activities that our DC had together. In a couple cases, DH knows their husbands through work and community activities. But, he's not a fan. I don't think the feelings are mutual, as they aren't close just more acquaintances, but my friend(s) and I have talked about getting together as couples. Actually the other husbands seem to want to be more friendly. DH is reluctant - or at least he doesn't ever see himself becoming close based on a lack of things in common with the guys. Is this a common thing? If this has happened to you, how do you handle it?
08-26-2010, 01:26 AM
I would say that is not uncommon.
I know that my DH does best with friends' DH's that are not overly outgoing. He prefers to just stay in the background while my girlfriends and I chat away. I think he prefers quiet, mellow, DH's like himself. I know he is easily annoyed by the "life of the party", or super-loud, types of DH's. (Although my cousin's DH is like that but they get along fine. CIL is a very nice guy though, despite his outgoing nature.)
He really does the best with people he has known a long time.
So what I do is just do stuff without him! I have a bunco group that is only girls and he will often opt-out of parties or social gatherings.
08-26-2010, 01:56 AM
I've met some moms through the mother's club or school and had families over for dinner before. Usually it goes well, but occasionally DH doesn't click with the other husband...like the rich ex-frat boy type. Honestly, the couples we've done the most with are ones where we all get along, so DH's opinion does matter. Otherwise it ends up being more of a mom & kid playdate type of relationship...you can't really force the husbands to hang out together if they don't like each other. DH has complained about not having enough close friends so I've encouraged DH to try the dad's club outings but he doesn't want to because he thinks it will be a bunch of the rich frat boys who became hedge fund managers (we do have a lot of those around here). I think I am more open to making new friends but am kind of shy/quiet. He is much pickier and less willing to go out and do things, although he is more talkative and better at being social when we are actually with other people.
08-26-2010, 02:24 AM
I'd encourage DH to try to get to know my friends' DHs better, but if after a few meetings the did not click, just let it be.
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