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View Full Version : Do you give a birthday gift to a close friend's child if not invited to the party?


justlearning
10-21-2010, 01:33 PM
My sons' two closest friends are sisters and I'm fairly close to the mom as well.

For years I've always invited the sisters to both of my sons' birthday parties, yet my sons have never been invited to their birthday parties. It sounds like her girls always have girl-only parties (often combined with a sleepover), so I assume that's the reason.

Both of the girls' birthdays are next week and once again my boys are not invited to their parties. So do you think I should get the girls gifts or not?

ETA that because my sons have small parties with just their closest friends, I always spend around $5 to buy a gift for each child as the party favor. So, considering that both sisters come and bring a gift that's around $10-12 for my son, what they get in return for coming to the party is similar to the amount of the gift they bring (plus I pay for their entertainment, food, etc.).

So if you were in my shoes and decided to buy them a gift, how much would you spend for each girl?

Would it seem awkward to ask the mom what her girls would like (which is what I always do when invited to a party)? I only hear about the birthday parties from the daughters, not the mom, so do you think she'd feel uncomfortable, thinking she should invite us to their parties if I'm asking about gift ideas?

Melbel
10-21-2010, 01:36 PM
I do purchase gifts for local close friends' children regardless of whether we are invited to the party. I may spend less on the gift, however. When in doubt, I err on the side of giving.

Reina
10-21-2010, 02:04 PM
It sounds like your sons are not invited because they are having girls only parties. If you love the kids, buy them gifts.
My very close friend has 2 daughters aged 3 and 5. We have never been invited to their birthday parties because they have family only parties at grandma & grandpa's house. But I get those girls gifts every birthday because I love them and we see them quite a lot birthday party or not...

JustMe
10-21-2010, 02:19 PM
I think you should do what you feel best about. It doesnt sound like you are obligated to buy them gifts. If you want to buy them presents, b/c you are close friends with their mom and consider the kids close friends, go ahead and buy them for whatever amount you feel good about spending. If you are happier not buying for them, as its not necessary without a party invite, I think that 'fine too. From the lnfo you posted here, it sounds like it wouldnt be a big deal either way to your friend.

niccig
10-21-2010, 03:52 PM
We do with friends' 2 DDs, but they are also our god daughters. She felt bad the first time we weren't invited, but I agreed that a princess party wasn't DS's style. We still gave gifts.