Tipping question in restaurant

[american_mama]

I ate dinner with six friends tonight and had a strange experience with the tipping. Is it normal for waitresses to keep the coins when the customer pays with cash? I don;t usually pay restaurant bills with cash, but I did tonight using two $20 bills, and should have gotten my change back in bills plus 46 cents. The waitress gave me my change in bills but kept the coins. There was no confusion about the gratuity since a 20% gratuity for the group was included on each individual bill.

I was a tad irritated, not about the 46 cents, but because I thought it was standard for restaurants to give exact change back. I can understand maybe not giving a few pennies back, or maybe extending that practice up to 20 cents, but I thought 46 cents warranted being given back. When I said this to my friends, they all mocked me - I got a little irritated about that too and was embarrassed to ask the waitress. They all paid with credit card, so I was the only one in this situation.

The waitress used the little black plastic billfolder thingies with a place inside that held the check/paper bills/coins, so nothing should have fallen out.

[tmahanes]

I have had them do that but usually they will short themselves the 54 cents and give you an extra dollar bill.

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[AshleyAnn]

I think its rude. A company I worked for a few years back had a dinner for a retiring boss at a local mexican restaurant. We also had individual checks with gratuity included and as the waiter took up each check he asked the person if they wanted thier change back. It was THE hot topic when we got back to the office. I assume he just didn't want to make change for 25 guests only to have half of them walk away from the table before he was done but it was still wierd.

[Penny's Pappa]

When I served tables I always gave back exact change unless they specifically told me to keep it.

Your server was out of line, IMO. It's just $0.46, but it's your $0.46.

[Kira's Mommy]

I waited tables for two years and I would never have just kept the change. I'm not surpised you're annoyed.


I have had them do that but usually they will short themselves the 54 cents and give you an extra dollar bill.

:yeahthat: In fact, I know several experienced waiters who often return more money in change than they have to. Supposedly, it makes the customer feel more at ease and more generous when deciding the amount of tip to leave.

[KrisM]

I usually pay in cash and have never had that happen. I think I would have downed my tip after that.

[twowhat?]

I would've been annoyed too. Just based on principle. I'd definitely take it out of whatever tip you were planning to leave!!

[KLD313]

I think it was rude of her not to give you your change. I've had delivery people ask me if I want change and another time one just took my money, never made change and left. None of it makes sense to me.

[Twin Mom]

I would've been annoyed too. Just based on principle. I'd definitely take it out of whatever tip you were planning to leave!!

:yeahthat:

[belovedgandp]

I have had them do that but usually they will short themselves the 54 cents and give you an extra dollar bill.


This has been my experience. They'll round up and give small bills to make tipping easier. So they are not giving exact change, but not shorting the customer either.

I would have been irritated also.

[golightly1118]

When I waited tables in college, I always gave exact change back. One, so the customer had no reason to complain to my manager about it, and two, I know I'd give a server who short-changed me a smaller tip on principle, if I left a tip at all after that. And well, it's just common good sense and manners to give exact change, but I think those two things are lacking in our society today.

[blue]

Your server was out of line, IMO. It's just $0.46, but it's your $0.46.

:yeahthat: I would not have been pleased. I believe in tipping generously, and still would have. However, I would have probably also asked the waiter where my change was.

[maybeebaby08]

This happened to me a few weeks ago and it really annoyed me too. I am normally a generous tipper because I've used to be a server but I gave her a smaller tip simply because she kept the change and it wasn't a few pennies it was over .50 cents.

[mariza]

So she "only" kept .46 cents. Now imagine if she is doing this to all of her tables be it .01 or .99 cents. It adds up and what she is doing is stealing. I would call the restaurant and ask the manager if this is standard practice and bring it to their attention. I worked in a different industry but similar incident. I had an employee who was stealing loose change. I had my suspicions but never could catch him until someone came forward to complain. It was a small amount of change but we had to fire the employee. Imagine going home and having to tell your spouse that???

[sunshine873]

I think she's lucky that the 20% gratuity was built in, otherwise that 46 cents would have been her tip.

I agree that this is a kind of stealing. Definitely unethical. I would have been furious too!

[lhafer]

I think she's lucky that the 20% gratuity was built in, otherwise that 46 cents would have been her tip.

I agree that this is a kind of stealing. Definitely unethical. I would have been furious too!

:yeahthat: Exactly!! She stole your money. I don't care if it was a penny or a dollar or a ten. It's not hers, and it's not her place or her right to even assume you would leave a tip.

Yeah, if it were me, that would have been her tip. And I would be calling the manager and having a chat.

[Corie]

So she "only" kept .46 cents. Now imagine if she is doing this to all of her tables be it .01 or .99 cents. It adds up

That's what I was thinking too. If she kept .46 cents from every
person she waited on, she'd have a nice little nest egg going.

[Melbel]

I voted not the norm but it would not bother me a bit. I waited tables both in high school and college (up to 3 restaurants at one time during summer breaks to pay for school). I am a bit surprised by the harsh responses here. Do we know that she intentionally kept the .46? Is it possible that it was an honest mistake (i.e. she thought she gave you an extra dollar)? I know that I accidentally shorted myself on occasion only to discover the error when it was too late (or awkward to fix). Likewise, it is probable that over the years I made an error in the other direction, especially if I was slammed. Was she busy with other tables? Was she running behind because it takes extra time to process separate checks? I cannot not imagine complaining, reducing her tip (other than perhaps by the .46 if the tip had not been included) or getting someone fired for stealing over such a small amount when we do not even know that it was intentional. I try not to allow myself to get worked up over small things. Life is short. I also try to give people the benefit of the doubt. JMHO.

[shawnandangel]

I would be annoyed enough to call the restauraunt the next day and speak to the manager. You already payed 20% gratuity and that's enough.

If I don't willingly give someone money and they take it, even if it's 0.40 odd cents, it's stealing.

Now if I called the manager, I might not disclose the name of the employee. I don't think it's enough to be fired over but I do think it's enough that the manager should speak to his/her employees.

[rin]

It's also possible this is standard practice at that restaurant. I used to work at a restaurant in college where anytime a customer paid with cash, the bartender made change, and would round the change to the nearest dollar (so if the customer should've gotten $1.25 back, they'd just give $1, but if it should've been $1.75 they'd give $2). I only ever once had someone complain, and if I recall correctly I just asked my manager to go and explain the restaurant's policy. From reading these comments, though, I guess I probably lost out on a lot of tips because of this policy!

[mariza]

I didn't mean to imply that she is definitely stealing, but I would call and ask the manager what the policy is and explain what happened. If the policy is to round down at the expense of the customer, then fine I would leave it alone (and probably not go to that restaurant anymore). However, if this is not the policy and it has been happening to other people than management needs to be aware of it.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I think its rude. A company I worked for a few years back had a dinner for a retiring boss at a local mexican restaurant. We also had individual checks with gratuity included and as the waiter took up each check he asked the person if they wanted thier change back. It was THE hot topic when we got back to the office. I assume he just didn't want to make change for 25 guests only to have half of them walk away from the table before he was done but it was still wierd.

I thought that was just their polite way of asking you if your tip was included in the money you handed him?

Rather than crassly say "did you put my tip in with your payment, or are you going to leave it on the table?", they say "do you need change back?".

I don't think that's weird.

[kdeunc]

It's also possible this is standard practice at that restaurant. I used to work at a restaurant in college where anytime a customer paid with cash, the bartender made change, and would round the change to the nearest dollar (so if the customer should've gotten $1.25 back, they'd just give $1, but if it should've been $1.75 they'd give $2). I only ever once had someone complain, and if I recall correctly I just asked my manager to go and explain the restaurant's policy. From reading these comments, though, I guess I probably lost out on a lot of tips because of this policy!

I find this bizarre. Walmart doesn't round up my bill when I check out, why should a restaurant? I would have definitely noticed. Don't know if I would have said something in a group or not. Like others have said, it was only $.46 but it was YOURS :)

[tmahanes]

See the whole asking thing makes me mad.... bring my change and I will leave you a tip. If I don't need change I will tell you. I uderstand that they make crappy wages and will usually tip very well. It just bugs me when they ask that.

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[AshleyAnn]

I thought that was just their polite way of asking you if your tip was included in the money you handed him?

Rather than crassly say "did you put my tip in with your payment, or are you going to leave it on the table?", they say "do you need change back?".

I don't think that's weird.

Except the tip was already computed into the check total as "Group Gratuity". We felt it was awkward and as crass as asking for a tip. But we're in the deep south where things run a little differenty.

[BabbyO]

I just think this is weird. In all my life I've never had a server give anything other than exact change unless they were told it wasn't required. I used to buss tables and although I wasn't a server, I understand how crappy the wages are. I would be inclined to leave less or no tip if a server didn't give exact change. Furthermore, I'd probably ask her about it.

Allow me to make the decision regarding any additional tip I may leave (with 20% gratuity included, I'd be inclined not to since I usually leave about a 20% tip).

[connor_mommy]

I think it's rude and inappropriate for her to keep the coins. Now, she may have forgotten, but she should have given it back to you for you to decide whether to keep it or leave it on the table. I would give the restaurant a call as just a heads up. I have never gone to a place that's done this. I worked as a waitress at my parents' restaurant growing up. I always brought back all of the change to the customer, unless they said to keep it. It's general practice to do that. I'm not sure about policy at a bar, but change due is change due to the customer and for the customer to decide.

[wellyes]

Except the tip was already computed into the check total as "Group Gratuity". We felt it was awkward and as crass as asking for a tip. But we're in the deep south where things run a little differenty.

How much would you have tipped if it wasn't policy to require a certain % for groups?

I was a server for a few years at a somewhat upscale restaurant. We had a required 18% tip for parties of 6 or more -- but I almost never added it to the bill. Because most parties give over 18% if I didn't add it but would pay to the penny if I did. Only when I was uncertain that I'd get a decent tip would I add it. For example, if a party was very grumpy about whatever (not at me, just giving off a negative vibe). Or if the group was European due to tipping differences between here and there.

Not saying you wouldn't have tipped well, I understand the 46 cents thing is about the principle. Just sharing my experience with the required group gratuity.

[vludmilla]

When I served tables I always gave back exact change unless they specifically told me to keep it.

Your server was out of line, IMO. It's just $0.46, but it's your $0.46.

:yeahthat: I waited tables for years during high school and college and I would NEVER have kept any amount of change that was due to a customer. Nervy, even if it isn't a lot of money. I wonder if she didn't put the receipt folder in her apron and it fell out. I could imagine that happening to me.

[american_mama]

I am increasingly wishing I'd said something. She was an excellent waitress in every way, so the most likely explanations are 1) she forgot the change and would have corrected it had I asked 2) she meant to round UP and short herself the 46 cents, as others have described, but made a a mistake or 3) she actually did #2 and I didn't realize it because I was focused on not seeing the coins I expected.

I have never heard of anything other than exact change, so I never considered option #2 or #3 until reading here. I am reasonably assertive, but when I am not, I always forget how wussy it makes me feel. I wish I'd asked.