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View Full Version : Don't use my DD to make YOUR kids feel bad!



randomkid
03-15-2011, 03:29 AM
DD and I were in a craft store this afternoon and went down the Easter aisle. I could hear this woman the next aisle over harping on her kids in a VERY irritated tone, "Put that down! Stop touching everything!", etc. Initially, I thought, "OK, I get irritated with DD sometimes and get onto her in stores" and tried to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe the kids had been particulary annoying this trip. However, this was non-stop and she was getting more and more irritated, talking through her teeth in this growling voice, IFKWIM. We're in a craft store with lots of cool stuff to look at and touch, none of which is breakable, btw. Lots of plastic and wooden stuff. I usually let DD just browse, look at things, ask questions, etc. unless we are in a hurry, it's time to leave or the item is fragile. There are times that I want to get done and get out, so I will tell DD to stop looking and let's go. If she doesn't, I just keep walking and she will come along.

Anyway, they come around the corner into our aisle. There are 2 kids, maybe 8 or so years old, not being bad, just looking at stuff. She's still harping on them and I realize that DD has noticed this. She actually seemed to notice it when they were still on the next aisle. So, DD stops and stands dead still as they come toward us. The woman then proceeds to say to her kids "Look how good she's being. She's not messing with everything. She's a good girl" and even directly addresses DD with "You're so good!" WTH?!?! I do not believe in making a kid feel bad by pointing out how great another kid is. We have never done this with DSDs, as in "Why can't you be more like your sister?" and I'm totally against it. I was really irritated that she used MY DD to try to make her kids do what she wanted them to do. What this woman didn't realize is that the only reason DD was just standing there, not touching things, is because the woman was making a spectacle of herself. After they passed, DD looked at me, smiled and kind of laughed like she thought the situation was silly. As soon as they walked away, DD picked up a big plastic egg and said "What's this?" :ROTFLMAO:

FWIW, by the end of our store visit, I was telling DD "Put that down, stop touching, let's go" because I was done and ready to get home, but I was not gnashing my teeth at her and belittling her. I simply told her what to do and when she wouldn't come, I'd tell her "I'm moving on now, you need to come with me" and I'd keep walking - she kept up.

Thanks for the vent. It's none of my business if a parent is getting onto their kids in the store, even talking to them in a crappy tone, but don't pull my child into it!

maestramommy
03-15-2011, 09:04 AM
Okay, a woodcraft store is like a candy shop to my kids. I would probably be telling them every second "be careful, you can look not touch." At the same time I wouldnt' bring them in unless my errand were super quick, because what do you expect when you bring kids into such a place? It's fascinating to them.

randomkid
03-15-2011, 03:02 PM
Okay, a woodcraft store is like a candy shop to my kids. I would probably be telling them every second "be careful, you can look not touch." At the same time I wouldnt' bring them in unless my errand were super quick, because what do you expect when you bring kids into such a place? It's fascinating to them.

Not a woodcraft store, just a craft store - Hobby Lobby. We were in the seasonal section and there was nothing glass or fragile about, only wooden or plastic decorations, probably some metal stuff, too. It wasn't really even that she was on them about not touching stuff. What bothered me is how she belittled her kids by pointing out that my (younger) DD was better behaved :rolleyes: However, DD was only standing there STARING at the woman because of how she was acting. Prior to and after that, DD was touching everything as well - lol! It was like being in a toy store, no harm in letting them touch because nothing was fragile.

C99
03-16-2011, 12:22 AM
I've totally done that. Not the irritated, exasperated harping on their behavior, but the look-at-that-child-being-so-well-behaved example. I don't think it's belittling them, but maybe it depends on the tone in which the message is spoken?

Hobby Lobby has SO much crap!

Uno-Mom
03-16-2011, 12:42 AM
Yeah, it's tone of voice. That woman was just being mean.

Sprog is too young for this to really apply, but I do think we'll point out other kids' public behavior sometimes. Both good and mischievious stuff because that's how kids learn. But never in a way to make Sprog feel bad. And never in a way the other kids would hear.

Yikes. I'd be mad if some parent did that involving my child.