schools v commute (or how far out is too far?)

[fivi2]

I am sure this has come up before, but I am lazy!

We are debating moving and it keeps coming back to commute v. schools.

Where we are now - 15-20 ish commute, not great schools, small old house (~1000 sq ft, built in 50s). Probably won't stay for a variety of reasons.

option 2 - 20-30 minute commute, better schools, slightly bigger and slightly newer houses (~2000 sqft, built in 70s and 80s).

option 3 - 30-45 minute commute, excellent schools, slightly bigger and newer houses (but still not huge or brand new. ~2500 sq ft, built in 80s or 90s) .

We both commute. The schools at #3 are most likely far better by most measures, not just test scores (of course my child may not fit the mold, but that could be true at any of them). I have family near #3.

WWYD?

[niccig]

I live in LA, so a 30 min commute is absolutely nothing and you may only be going 5 miles.

My commute when I was working full time was 35 mins no traffice, 60-90 mins with traffic.

DH's commute is 45 mins each way, and it does add a lot of time to his day, and less at home. Also consider getting to school for pick-up time. When I'm finished with school, I will only look for work within small radius because of the commute time with traffic, and DH can not get to school for pick up time, so it's all me.

Option 2 sounds like a good compromise - better schools, a little more space but not too much longer in the car every day.
Oh, could family near 3 help with pick up, taking the DC to activities? We have a couple of families at school where grandparents or cousin does pick up some days, I would LOVE to have that option. DH's cousin might be moving near us for college, and if he does, I will ask him to be our paid babysitter

[egoldber]

Well, IMO there's a big difference between 1000 and 2000 SF. The jump from 2000-2500 is less noticeable.

I also think that there is a big difference between a 20 minute commute and a 45 minute commute. The psychological difference is pretty big IMO.

So #2 seems a no brainer. ;) But to go from #2 to #3 would take a lot more info to convince me it was worth the additional commute.

[HIU8]

I'm so used to a commute of 1 + hours that a 30-45 minute commute would not be a big deal to me. I would be choosing between option 2 or 3 due to schools and finding a house where you didn't have to do a total remodel just to move in. Also, the difference between 2000 and 2500 could mean a finished basement/office space/ separate laundry or guest bedroom.

[fivi2]

Well, IMO there's a big difference between 1000 and 2000 SF. The jump from 2000-2500 is less noticeable.

I also think that there is a big difference between a 20 minute commute and a 45 minute commute. The psychological difference is pretty big IMO.

So #2 seems a no brainer. ;) But to go from #2 to #3 would take a lot more info to convince me it was worth the additional commute.

Right - we had been focused on #2, but a few things have me tempted by #3. First, #2 is still in my current district, but better neighorhood with mostly better schools than my current neighborhood. However, I fear my district overall isn't going to weather the budget crisis well. I don't know if it will do as well as the schools in #3. #3 is in a suburban district with much better schools (my nephews currently go to them so I have a little info). And I think that district will survive the upcoming budget crunch better.

The schools and being closer to my sister are pretty much all that #3 has going for it. I am not sure it is enough.

eta: thanks for the input! My city is nowhere the size of LA and DC, so 45 minutes feels huge!

[niccig]

The schools and being closer to my sister are pretty much all that #3 has going for it. I am not sure it is enough.

Is #2 in direction of #3 - so on the way to your sister? You would be closer, but I don't know how many miles we're talking with extra 20 mins of driving. Here in LA, it's not far at all, but in other parts of the country it's considered too far to pop in for a visit.

[AnnieW625]

I would choose number 2, but would consider number 3 if your family there was going to help take care of your DDs after school. Also chose the area you are most comfortable with. The schools and the area of #3 could be ideal house and school wise but if you have friends from your current area you are never going to see because they don't want to drive the extra 30 to 45 minutes I think that will effect your quality of life too.

Another thing I would think about in regards to location 3 would be if the schools are soo much better are you going to be able to afford to send your girls to the colleges that location 3 will get them into? I went to school in a pretty mixed race and mixed income school so I didn't have that problem, but had I gone to a school with lots of upper income students, lots of AP classes, and high test scores and students who could go to Stanford, Yale, etc. it might have made my high school life more stressfull. I know your kids are just going into kindergarten, but in the long run this is one thing that I would think about esp. if you want to stay in one location for a very long time.

I live in the burbs of Los Angeles and I work in central Orange County, DH works in eastern LA County. Our commutes can range from 20 minutes to 45 minutes all depending on traffic. We live 22 miles from both of our work locations. We don't have really bad traffic so that's why I can say that it only takes us max on a really bad day 45 minutes to get to work. In a rare occaision it might take me an hour to get home from work and for DH an hour to get to work.

As an example I dread having to go the San Fernando Valley, it's maybe 35 miles from my doorstep, but traffic wise it can take up to 90 minutes to get up there. 20 miles away is Beverly Hills/West LA and I still dread going up there because it's an hour on a week day to get home. Most places though don't have issues like LA does though.

[fivi2]

Is #2 in direction of #3 - so on the way to your sister? You would be closer, but I don't know how many miles we're talking with extra 20 mins of driving. Here in LA, it's not far at all, but in other parts of the country it's considered too far to pop in for a visit.

No, we are all over the map. I am currently about 20-25 minutes away from her. Number 2 is in a different direction, so maybe double that (40-45). Number 3 would be close (not exact same neighborhood, but a nearby one - 5-10 minutes). Being close isn't a deciding factor, just a consideration!

[niccig]

No, we are all over the map. I am currently about 20-25 minutes away from her. Number 2 is in a different direction, so maybe double that (40-45). Number 3 would be close (not exact same neighborhood, but a nearby one - 5-10 minutes). Being close isn't a deciding factor, just a consideration!

I would go for your daily quality of life - shorter commute gives more time in the day, and you're closer to DC if need to get them during the day.

This is another consideration of ours. DH is 45 mins away, my old work is 45-90 mins depending on traffic. We both don't want to be so far away from DS's school. I am on the 2 days I have college classes, but a couple of parents in DS's class have said they'll get him for me if need be. Ideally, when I'm finished, I'll just look for work in smaller radius around his school.

[longtallsally05]

Hmm...I'd probably look at option 2 before considering option 3. I wouldn't stay at option 1. We currently live 25 miles from DH's work, and it is anywhere from 45 min-1.5 hr commute, depending on the traffic condtions and the alignment of the stars. It is a huge drain on our family's quality of life and we are looking for a 30 minute or less commute at our next duty station, balancing it with quality of schools and housing. I don't think we could live in a house less than 2000 sq ft again without off loading lots of furniture and STUFF. I think DH would rather have his leg surgically removed than give up his beloved stuff.

[JoyNChrist]

I would probably go with Option #3, but my DH has a 1.5 hour commute, and we manage, so take that with a grain of salt.

[fivi2]

I actually just mapquested it:
Option 2 is about 10 miles from work
Option 3 is about 16 miles from work
(current house about 6 or 7).

But because of rivers and strange roads, option 3 definitely takes the longest. Currently I can take a million different ways, option 2 has about two ways maybe 3, option 3 has one viable route.

For me traffic is usually minimal (I work 7-4) but dh is always in the heart of rush hour.
Sister works in the area of option 3, so she'd be available in case of emergency school pick up.

[fivi2]

Okay - one other question...

Does anyone's opinion change if one of the schools at Option 3 (the better district, but farthest out) is an IB school?

I don't really know what that means, tbh, but it is something I hear about as a positive.
(I have googled IB schools, so I technically know what it means in theory, just not what it looks like in practice at that school)

Just wondering if that made a difference!

Thanks for letting me obsess!

[egoldber]

IB means relatively little at the elementary level.