Singing the daycare blues.

[wendibird22]

I posted last week about our daycare director leaving and as a result half the teachers and families leaving too. The whole thing is a terrible mess. DH and I have tried to be patient. Tried to give the owner the benefit of the doubt that she'll get qualified teachers in place and that DDs will continue to be well cared for. But, OMG, each day is a roller coaster of emotions. Just when we think things are looking up, the staff is settling in to the new leadership and changes and we start getting comfortable staying there, then we hear bad things. Things like the owner rehired someone that the previous director fired for "being rough" with infants, the owners little pocket pooch coming to the center and pooping all over the place, the owner criticizing teachers (that we adore) and making them cry, the owner paying barely above min wage and no benefits or paid time off. I just can't take the one day we are happy, next day we are ready to yank our kids out roller coaster.

And who do you believe? The former director who we really love but may have an ax to grind? The owner who we've never interacted with before but one would hope is trying to run a good business but who is probably freaked out that half the parents have pulled out? The poor teachers who've been left behind to pick up the pieces? The new hires we are just getting to know? It's just a big freakin mess. If I ask the owner if she's rehired fired staff do I actually expect her to tell me yes?

What makes it all the more difficult is that it is only 1 of 2 centers in our small town and the other center has a bad rep. We could pull our kids and get a nanny for the next 1.5mos until my summer vacation starts but then we'd be stuck needing something for next school year and DD1 needs pre-k. This center had been ideal because it is in our school district so there's busing to/from k-6 so we could keep DD1 and DD2 at the same place once DD1 goes to K, it was convenient for both DH and I to share drop off and pick up, and it was reasonably priced.

I have a message out to the owner to tell her the rumors I've been hearing about staffing rehires to see what she says. I also called the local child care council to report concerns and can only hope they follow up with a spot visit and investigation. DH and I have done several spot checks and DH had a serious talk with the owner last week. They know we aren't happy.

Ugh, I just hate that just when I'm starting to feel ok about it all then I get a call or text from another parent with another story of misdeeds and then I'm back to wanting to quit my job, rush over to get them, and keep them home with me!

[infocrazy]

Where are other director and the teachers going? Is it possible that they are starting a new center or going to the other one?

[mommylamb]

First off, just wanted to say I'm sorry that you're going through this. When a daycare situation isn't working, it's so awful.

Where are other director and the teachers going? Is it possible that they are starting a new center or going to the other one?

This is what happened to us. We were at a Kindercare, and initially very happy. Then the management changed, and the new director brought in new staff with her who were all her close friends. And they were awful. The old teachers were treated terribly (the ones who were actually good). Anyway, our two favorite teachers ended up leaving and starting an in-home daycare and we went with them. It's been over 2 years now, and we are so happy.

[wendibird22]

The director and teachers are going to a new center that is being built and won't open until Aug 1. I *think* I may be able to hire DD2's current infant teacher to nanny for us until she starts at the new center. She's miserable at the current place but can't leave until she has another job. We'd be given a spot at the new center but it's 30mins from home and would be doable for next year but the following year once DD1 enters K (which is only part-time here) we'd need to find something else since the new center isn't in our district. I'm just so so so bummed about this.

[wendibird22]

Spoke to the owner and asked about rehired staff. She says that the fired person was just visiting one day and was asked to leave and was not rehired. But, the former director swears the new teacher in pre-k is the person she let go. Owner also said that the new director was a former employee but that she left to take college classes and is back now that she's finished. But, the former director says this woman was let go from the other site because she wreaked havoc there. I have no reason to not believe the owner and yet I also have no reason to not believe the former director. Ugh. I'd like to pull my kids and say, prove to me you can fix this and we'll come back. But, then there's no guarantee that we could come back if they fill all the spots or decide we are just too much a PITA and don't accept us back.

Rock-hard place and yup, that's me in the middle.

[minnie-zb]

The director and teachers who are opening the new place have a clear conflict of interest. I'd take what they say with a large grain of salt and would look for independent verification. From where I sit it looks rather less than professional of the current staff to be gossiping so heavily with the parents of the kids.

You are right to start a dialogue with the owner and to start one with the new director. Listen to your spidey sense.

Good luck: It sounds like a real mess!

[wendibird22]

The director and teachers who are opening the new place have a clear conflict of interest. I'd take what they say with a large grain of salt and would look for independent verification. From where I sit it looks rather less than professional of the current staff to be gossiping so heavily with the parents of the kids.

You are right to start a dialogue with the owner and to start one with the new director. Listen to your spidey sense.

Good luck: It sounds like a real mess!

Definitely being cautious here because like you said, there is a conflict of interest. But, the former director and teachers haven't been seeking out parents or spreading gossip. I've sought them out for clarification. I think it would be different if they were contacting families with a "hey did you hear?" message. Instead, they've remained mum and professional and have only shared thoughts/opinions if a parent has contacted them and asked directly about something. I don't think the director stands too much to gain only because the new center won't open until August and it's quite a distance away from the current center. So why tell us how horrible it is and get us to leave now when we'd just find another nanny/sitter/center now and then not move to her center. Plus given what I know about this new center and where it is located, they'll be turning people away. So I don't think she needs our business.

[ThreeofUs]

After reading all your info, wendibird, I'd believe the old director.

We had a case similar to yours - a beloved director resigned. The owner (who was a good person and a good teacher) said director left for a cr@ppy reason, and brought in staff who couldn't manage the kids. I called director and asked specifically and found out she had taken the EDship of another daycare.

Seems to me the old situation is going to take a long while to settle down. If you can get out of it, maybe you should....

[klwa]

*hugs* Our daycare is in the middle of turnover as well, although not as bad as last year. I'm going to say, go with your gut. The director who left last year, for us, was a dad-blamed con-woman. She would tell everyone what they wanted to hear. Since she knew I was happy with the center, I was told how wonderful everything was. Then, she'd turn around & tell the teachers that I was threatening to pull my kids out, and they'd better play nice to me. Of course, she was also married to a drug dealer, which came out just before she "quit".

So, basically, I WOULDN'T believe the old director necessarily. Are there any teachers who are planning to stay that you can talk to? Even the pre-K teacher. Smile & ask her where she was before this. What ages have you worked with, etc. Basically, see if her story jibes with the former director.

Also, when you walk in the door, are your kids still happy to have been there? If their attitude towards the daycare has changed, it would be time to consider changing.

[wendibird22]

Are there any teachers who are planning to stay that you can talk to? Even the pre-K teacher. Smile & ask her where she was before this. What ages have you worked with, etc. Basically, see if her story jibes with the former director.

Also, when you walk in the door, are your kids still happy to have been there? If their attitude towards the daycare has changed, it would be time to consider changing.

So far my girls seem to still be well adjusted there and DD1 who is 3.5 isn't begging not to go or anything. DH did arrive at pick up one day to see a room of chaos and the teacher with her back to the room oblivious to much of it (DH called the owner to report the issue that night) and we've had another parent tell us that she did a spot check and found that the 2's, 3's, and 4's had all been lumped together and didn't seem that there were enough teachers to supervise. But, this was the week of the mass exodus so I think they were short staffed. There are only 2-3 teachers left from the old group. Everyone else has either already quit or gave notice. I'd say at least 6 teachers will be taking jobs at the new center.

Honestly, I'm not sure what my gut or DH's gut is telling us. I think we want the best of both worlds...to be able to pull out now but then come back when the dust settles if things seem to have improved. But we realize that once we pull out there's no guarantee of spots or that they'll even take us back if they think we are total PITA. We are having a hard time walking away from the convenience factor..it's local to us, DDs will be with kids they will eventually go to school with, it's a great price, DDs can be at the same place once DD1 goes to kindy, etc. And obviously we'd pull out at the first sign that our kids were being mistreated. We just don't have any clear indication that the owner is doing anything wrong, just stories from one side that the owner always has a good answer to. Oh, and so many other families have pulled out and we wonder...are they just panicked, or do they know something that would cause them to leave. I would also like to believe that all the teachers wouldn't leave just because the director did. She didn't guarantee any of them a job. I could see one or two loyal teachers being upset and leaving but 6 leaving seems like a lot of people to leave just on principle. It makes me think that they must really dislike working for the owner. IDK.