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sariana
06-06-2011, 12:27 AM
I'll try to make it short. DS's party will be at a venue. We need to limit guests to 13 (it costs $10 for each person over--not a big deal, but...). We have some non-school friends, and he's made a list of friends from class. We can't invite all 30; we're inviting about 18, hoping some will say no.

I know it's uncouth to send invitations only to some children. But I don't have contact info for most. The room mom doesn't, either. So I'm thinking of sending every child a "Keep in touch this summer!" card with DS's address and email address and our family phone number. Some children's evelopes also will have an invitation in them. Does this seem okay? That way everyone gets something.

School doesn't end until June 21, but I need to do this tomorrow to get RSVPs in time. Folders go home only once a week, and next Monday would be too late.

If this seems wrong, any suggestions as to other ways to get invitations only to certain kids?

Thanks!

ha98ed14
06-06-2011, 12:52 AM
You could do it, but I think the kids will open them before they get home. If they were in K, maybe they would be oblivious, but by now, they wanna open it! Also, just to protect your privacy, I would not give out your address to all of your son's classmates.

IIWY, I would go to school at pick up and stand outside the classroom and catch parents as they are picking up. Hand an invite to each child you wanna invite as they are leaving for the day. Then you know at least that the kid got the invite. Hopefully the parent will be there too and you can hand it to them instead. This is what happens at DH's class. All the parents wait outside and chat for 5-10 mins before pick up. It would be a good time to hand them out, I think.

sariana
06-06-2011, 01:03 AM
I don't think they look at their homework folders while still at school (in most cases, anyway).

Not all parents pick up their children. And unfortunately I don't always know which child goes with which parent. I wish I did; that would be easier. But I think that might lead to more hurt feelings. I would feel bad if a parent was handing out envelopes and didn't have one for me/my son.

I would have given permission to put my address on a class roster, had there been one. So that isn't really an issue for me. We live across the street from the school. We had a roster in kinder but never got one this year (different school).

I wish the party were later and I could just do envelopes the last day of school. His b-day isn't until July, but some good friends will be traveling by then. So we're having his party early this year. School ends only a few days before the party day, so there is not enough time to wait until then.

Thanks for the input.

Pear
06-06-2011, 01:26 AM
I would start googling and networking to find out the addresses.

sariana
06-06-2011, 03:38 AM
Bump--I was hoping to send these out tomorrow, but that's not going to happen. So it's not quite so urgent, but I'm still interested in opinions.

bnme
06-06-2011, 07:55 AM
I wouldn't do that. The kids may open them on the bus, or talk about it, or the moms may talk about it. Then some may wonder if maybe they were supposed to get an invitation. Can you try emailing the teacher? Our teachers do not give out a class list unless you ask for it.

egoldber
06-06-2011, 08:01 AM
I agree with the PP that this is not the way to do it. There is too much potential for confusion. Also, many, many parents do not check their kids backpacks and folders, so they could easily be missed.

Do you have the addresses for the kids he actively likes to play with vs wants to invite "just because"? If so, then I would just invite those and do it completely outside of school.

lil_acorn
06-06-2011, 10:00 AM
Can you give them to the teacher and explain what you are trying to do? Maybe she can help get them distributed appropriately. Or is there a homeroom mom that may have everyone's email / contact info?

sariana
06-06-2011, 10:13 AM
I DID discuss this plan with the teacher.

I do not have anyone's address. I have maybe two or three people's email addresses.

There is no class list.

There isn't any way I can stop the students from talking about it. I have heard talk about birthday parties before (parties to which my son was not invited).

Not that it matters, but DS has been invited to exactly ONE party for a classmate this year. I know there have been more parties than this. (He wasn't able to go. That was back in October--soccer season.)

DS does not play with any of these students outside of school. I would like to work to start to change that. I wish I could invite the whole class, but I just can't take the chance that even half would say yes.

Oh, and there are no busses. Students walk or are picked up by parents.

LD92599
06-06-2011, 10:20 AM
I was pretty much inviting the whole class though in 2nd grade we're able to limit it to just one gender. As a WOTH mom I'm not there at pick up and we also don't have any sort of class list, roster, etc. I did have DS though bring his invites in his backpack and he passed them out, except for a few that he didn't see the kids (other classes) and I ended up dropping them off (knew which houses) 2 nights before!

I'm not close enough to the kids he wants to invite to be able to JUST invite though kids. Maybe 3rd grade will be different.