Is night time training the solution?

[happymom]

OK, so I could really use some input on this whole potty training business! I mentioned this in another thread, but I'll explain again.

DD has been wearing underwear during the day and is doing pretty well. From the very first day, she never had an accident- sounds good, right? We have a different problem though! She seems to just be "holding it in". So she doesn't have accidents, but she barely uses the bathroom either! Today she peed ONE TIME in the toilet. One time! I'm worried she'll end up with a UTI, which would only make matters worse! It seems like she is holding it in till nighttime-her diapers are much wetter in the morning since she started wearing underwear during the day. MIL suggested that I should put her in underwear at nighttime too, so she doesnt have the option of holding in till she's wearing a diaper. Then maybe she will pee more during the day. Thoughts?

Oh, and since day #1 of potty training, she has only pooped in the toilet once. She basically has a dirty diaper every morning. Not sure if she's holding it in till nighttime intentionally, or if that's just her body's schedule. Probably intentional though. I'm less worried about the poop than I am about the pee though. I know its normal for kids to be a little hesistant to poop in the toilet.

In the beginning, I thought I just needed to give her time and she would adjust to using the toilet more. Its been about 3 weeks though...seems like a while! And I can't figure out WHY she's avoiding. She's not scared and she gets great rewards that she loves.

If nighttime training is the way to go, how do I go about night training a toddler who is still sleeping in a crib? What's she supposed to do- call for me at 4am when she needs to pee? Or is the idea that she's supposed to just not use the bathroom at all during the night?

Am I just making a mountain out of a molehill? Should I just leave things as they are and give it more time? And pray for no UTI's?

Thoughts? Thanks!

[happymom]

Bumping this up for the daytime crowd...

[daisymommy]

Well, here's my humble opinion.
She is incredibly young (not sure when she turned two, but I see 2 in your siggy). Sounds to me like she needs a lot more time to adjust to being PT. Its very common for kids to withhold and be scared of going on the PT, especially when they weren't really ready for the big step. Just because they are physically ready (meaning they can hold it) doesn't mean they are emotionally ready. Kind of sounds like it is back-firing (since she isn't going until nighttime).

I would not try to force night training on her. I think that will cause more problems than it's worth. Wetting the bed, or worse yet micro-tearing her bladder or UTI from holding it all night long as well.

I would help her to relax on the potty, go more often, make it less scary and pressured during the day however you can. Maybe go together throughout the day, and just hang out for 5 minutes ;).

Eventually, when she is really ready, she will go enough during the day that her diaper will be less full at night. And *most* kids do not have the physical maturity to hold it at night or wake up out of a sounds sleep when they need to go until they are 4+ years old.

P.S. How long since you started with PT? It usually take a few months for them to really "get it" well. And it can be a good year later before they are night trained.

[happymom]

Well, here's my humble opinion.
She is incredibly young (not sure when she turned two, but I see 2 in your siggy). Sounds to me like she needs a lot more time to adjust to being PT. Its very common for kids to withhold and be scared of going on the PT, especially when they weren't really ready for the big step. Just because they are physically ready (meaning they can hold it) doesn't mean they are emotionally ready. Kind of sounds like it is back-firing (since she isn't going until nighttime).

I would not try to force night training on her. I think that will cause more problems than it's worth. Wetting the bed, or worse yet micro-tearing her bladder or UTI from holding it all night long as well.

I would help her to relax on the potty, go more often, make it less scary and pressured during the day however you can. Maybe go together throughout the day, and just hang out for 5 minutes ;).

Eventually, when she is really ready, she will go enough during the day that her diaper will be less full at night. And *most* kids do not have the physical maturity to hold it at night or wake up out of a sounds sleep when they need to go until they are 4+ years old.

P.S. How long since you started with PT? It usually take a few months for them to really "get it" well. And it can be a good year later before they are night trained.

Thanks so much for answering. I just updated my siggie- she turned 2 back in December. So she's 2 yrs, 7 months. I'm not sure how you can tell if a child is emotionally ready, but DD has seemed ready for a long time. As a matter of fact, I was worried I was pushing it off for too long. For months already, she has been letting me know as soon as she peed or pooped in her diaper. My MIL (who has lots of experience as she PT'd her own 8 children) babysits DD daily, and for months she has been telling me that DD is so ready to be trained. I pushed it off till the summer when I was off from work.

I started training her 3 weeks ago. Here's an overview of how things have been-

Week #1: The first few days were great- from the very beginning, she would just tell me when had to pee, and then we would run to the bathroom and she would go. She was very proud of herself. Everything seemed to be going so well and so easily. At this point, she was peeing 5-6 times a day. At the end of the first week, she pooped in the toilet for the first time.

Week #2: DD started saying she didnt want to wear underwear and would ask for a diaper in the morning. We promised her a reward if she wore underwear, and then she gladly did. This happened for about 3 days, and then she started wearing the underwear without any problem. We noticed she was peeing a lot less and her diapers were a lot wetter at night.

Week #3: That's this week. She's been wearing underwear happily but still withholding. She hasn't pooped in the toilet at all this week.

I realize that potty-training is a process and it takes kids a while to adjust. I would never have suggested nighttime training (I figured that was a year away), except that i thought it might help with daytime. But it hadn't occurred to me that she might witthhold at night too- very good point!

So you think if I just wait it out and give it more time, she will start to go more often? How worried should I be about the possibility of UTI's? Also, when i suggest that we go to the bathroom and just sit and read/sing etc, she's not interested and very resistant...wat do you think about bribing her just to sit on the toilet? So she would get a reward even if she doesn't actually pee...should I try that?

Thanks SOOO much for your help. I really appreciate it!

[Snow mom]

Maybe you need to try another currency for bribes. What is she getting now? My DD is the same age and mainly wants to watch Shawn the Sheep. We don't do TV at all and this seems to be her currency. She likes getting stickers and will demand them after she's used the potty, but it doesn't actually motivate her to use the potty (it's more of an after thought for her.) If she's thinking of Shawn or we mention an episode of Shawn she'll be on a potty in a flash. If you can get my DD onto the potty she has no problem going. Not sure if this is the case with your DD but it's worth trying something different I guess.

[daisymommy]

Okay, so 2 years 7 months isn't as young as I thought :)

Kids are so tricky aren't they?!

I do think you should relax things a little, not rush it, and give it time. It could very well be that there is an element of control going on here, and bribery could make it worse. Maybe ease off the pressure a little and see what happens? For some kids, treats and bribes appeal to them--you know your daughter best. For others, they see how much *you* want them to do something, and they run the other way with the control.

I think it may just be a waiting game of practice and time. But that's just me :)

[jgenie]

I second SnowMom about finding her currency. DS1 doesn't watch much TV but he gets to see a few snippets from Sesame Street.com when he goes potty. He's been PTd since March but regressed recently. We reinstated the Sesame Street and he's back on track.