dd will go off to college in pull ups.

[boilermakermom]

I am sure of this. She.will.not.go.near.the.potty. A complete meltdown ensures if I suggest it more then once an hour.

We have tried stickers, m&m's, oreos, praise and hugs...I am out of ideas.

I am at a loss. I am ready to hide the pull ups, take her pants off and let her scream until she pees, pukes or falls asleep.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Any BTDT?

[boilermakermom]

She turned 3 in August, and has been in pull ups for close to 4 months. She refuses to put underwear on.

[amldaley]

How old is she?

Sorry - cross post!

[amldaley]

I would not give her the pull ups. That makes it too easy. Let her play with a bare naked bottom for a couple of days. Put the potty in the loving room where it is not associated with the bathroom.

We used a couple of potty books and videos. Elmo Potty Time was a good one. We just played it on YouTube.

http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Book-Girls-ebook/dp/B001R4CKJ2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1319733119&sr=8-2

http://www.amazon.com/Princess-Potty-Samantha-Berger/dp/0545172969/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&qid=1319733119&sr=8-15

Also, I got her a little plastic potty for her dolls.

Is she around any other kids that use the potty? It seems to help some kids to see their peers doing it.

[crl]

Yeah. And this is not going to be a popular response, so I may not come back to the thread to see how horrible everyone thinks I am for forcing the issue.

DS was over three and clearly ready to use the potty except he didn't want to because of his anxiety, rigidity or whatever. He has special needs and his aide at his preschool, who was fabulous, said he is ready, we can do this. So she made a little picture of a potty, laminated it and glued it to a craft stick. She kept one and gave me one. Every time one of us handed him the potty stick he HAD to go and sit on the potty. He had one screaming fit that lasted for about 30 minutes with me on the second day where I had to stand in the bathroom with him and hold the door closed until he relented and sat on the potty. Otherwise he complied without much fuss and at the end of two weeks he was completely and totally potty trained.

I am not necessarily advising this approach for most kids, but I think it was right for ds. It got him potty trained before it became a social issue for him and I think his resistance to the change would have just gotten stronger if we had let him go longer.

Catherine

[mom2one]

Well I have a DS who I was convinced was going off to college in his diapers, so I feel your pain! Good news, he did figure it out!

We found sometime that DS really, really wanted. At the time Kohls had come out with dinosaur stuffed animals for $5 each. We hung up the picture from the ad. There seemed to be a lot of talk about it. Mom got all 4 animals and had them in trunk of car ready to go.

I remember we put his potty in the bathtub with water all around it. The concept being that when his feet hit the water, he will have to go. And it worked!!! We celebrated with the first dinosaur! And that was how we got started.

Then when he still wanted a pullup for just #2's, it got to the point where I said that is it. We counted how many pullups were left (i think 8 or so) and I said when they are gone, they are gone. There will be no more.

I was so afraid this would backfire, but that is what my DS needed. TIme to think about it, i think we counted the pullups that were left after every one was used. And it did work in the end.

Trust me, she will not go to college in pullups. You just have to try some new things and figure out what works for her.

[kedss]

mine turned 3 in June, I think some of the problem is her sister, now 6 months is in diapers, being a 'big girl' doesn't matter to her yet. I may have to try a 'naked weekend' with her, hoping she will decide that underwear is cooler than diapers....sigh, I so feel your pain!

[kbud]

Just wait until she wants to do it. My oldest was 3 and 9 months before she decided she wanted to not wear pullups. DD#2 was 3 and 3 months so, just turning 3 isn't that old at all. Just quite trying for now, it's not worth the struggle and simply will not work until she's ready. I know it's frustrating.

[scrooks]

Just wait until she wants to do it. My oldest was 3 and 9 months before she decided she wanted to not wear pullups. DD#2 was 3 and 3 months so, just turning 3 isn't that old at all. Just quite trying for now, it's not worth the struggle and simply will not work until she's ready. I know it's frustrating.

Ditto the 3 year 9 months thing...it was the same thing with DD. We just got rid of pullups last spring. She does still sleep in them though.

[kbud]

Ditto the 3 year 9 months thing...it was the same thing with DD. We just got rid of pullups last spring. She does still sleep in them thought.

Mine is now 7 1/2 and just started sleeping without pull ups in the past 6 months! We've been accident free for 2 months now, knock on wood!

[lowrioh]

I think that your daughter and my daughter have been talking. DD1 will not do it. I did everything, including a bribe for a toy she really, really wants. We tried just putting her in underwear, tried bare bottom, did all the things people say "worked".
I decided to quit for now. We just got to a point where she was angry at me and I was angry at her and I didn't like feeling that way. She will not go to school in diapers. When she decides that she wants to do it, that's when it will happen. I have started to force her to go pee at night before bed just because otherwise she soaks through her diaper. The only reason that I can do that is I tell her she can't have her milk unless she does it.
Anyway, you are not alone!

[mommylamb]

My DS was a late PTer. Not super later, but on the later end of average. He PT for pee at 3.5, but still insisted on having me put a diaper on him so he could poop for another couple months after that. He finally PTed entirely (including dry at night) on April 1, and he turned 4 in June. None of the regular tactics seemed to work. He didn't care for bribes of any sort, sticker charts, etc.

This is what worked for us. First, I refused to let him wear pull ups. I think they're a waste of money. He wore diapers before he PTed. Second, I started telling him around this time last year "at Christmas, there will be no more diapers, just underwear." We would talk about it from time to time so he could mentally prepare, but I didn't force him to wear underwear until that cut off point. At Christmas time, we went directly to underwear and that was that, except for pooping. We did the same thing for pooping, except in that case it was "In April, you have to poop in the potty" starting around February. He was less than pleased, but we stuck to it and that was it. And, from Christmas onward, he was totally fine at night too. We've had 2 night time accidents since then, and that's it.

She won't be in pull ups in college :hug:.

[kellij]

I think having them run around nude as much as possible helps. I really would just not let her wear pull-ups and put undies on her and see how she does. It's one thing if she can't physically control it, but if she just doesn't want to, it's different. My DS1 was my slowest, and then he still wet every night for another year. I really think he couldn't help it at night. We had to do things like really limit liquid intake in the evening, especially milk and that seemed to do the trick.

[Nicsmom]

Same thing happened to me and I decided to take a break from potty training. I did it because I was exhausted and I felt I was not going anywhere. I did not set up a time limit, I just stopped trying for as long as I needed. And then, about 4 months later (yep, that long) DS started trying to go potty by himself or asking me to take him. He was completely potty trained (day and night) in a few days.

I don't know if this works for everyone but it did for DS. I guess he wasn't ready before (although he was showing all the signs) and my constant pressure around the subject was making him more anxious about going to the potty.

[mmsmom]

Unless there is something you need her potty trained for (school, etc.) then I would just take a break for a few weeks. Put her back in diapers and don't say another word about it. If she brings it up just say we will try potty training again when you are ready. She may decide she misses the attention and that she is ready.

With my DS it took a combination of candy, stickers, charts, toy bribes, driving him by the school to show him playground & explaining no diapers allowed at school... really a little bit of everything. At the end I got a tray and put a few toys from the dollar store on it. Left it out on the counter so he could see it & if he stayed dry all morning he could pick something before nap time, if he stayed dry till bed he could pick something again. Then we went to got something for staying dry all day. It seemed to work well because he could see the reward.

[kbud]

Unless there is something you need her potty trained for (school, etc.) then I would just take a break for a few weeks. Put her back in diapers and don't say another word about it. If she brings it up just say we will try potty training again when you are ready. She may decide she misses the attention and that she is ready.

With my DS it took a combination of candy, stickers, charts, toy bribes, driving him by the school to show him playground & explaining no diapers allowed at school... really a little bit of everything. At the end I got a tray and put a few toys from the dollar store on it. Left it out on the counter so he could see it & if he stayed dry all morning he could pick something before nap time, if he stayed dry till bed he could pick something again. Then we went to got something for staying dry all day. It seemed to work well because he could see the reward.

I told my dd about the no diapers at school thing too, she informed that was fine then she just wouldn't go to school;) She also informed her teachers (after they were explaining she needed to go in the potty and not in her pull up) that it was ok for her to go in the pull up. 4 years later her pre-school teacher still remembers her saying that and has never had a child like that before;)

[newnana]

http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Power-Artist-Not-Provided/dp/B0002B55DO

Hands down the most annoying video you will ever watch. Every.single.kid. that we've let borrow this horrible video has fallen in love with it and it has been the magic bullet to potty training. I swear it must have subliminal messages in it.

Order the video on amazon. Take a break from insisting on the potty. When the special delivery arrives in the mail, let DD open it. It's a present! It's TV! Fun, new, and exciting! Who knows, maybe she'll want to go after that.

I don't agree with the message in it: what can you do when you're sitting on the potty, when your sitting on the potty for a while? you can read a book or two, blah, blah blah. I kid you not, the last time I heard that blasted song was over 4 years ago and it's still freaking stuck in my head. DH was creed out by the teddy bear wiping instructional. I don't care about any of that. It worked! And I've loaned the blasted thing out at least 5 times with the same spectacular results.

Good luck to you!

[elliput]

:hug::hug::hug: It's okay, really, it is. My DD was 3.75y before she would consistantly use the toilet/potty. Granted she has toileting issues related to her autism, but I promise there is hope. DS is also taking his sweet time with PT- he's just a month younger than your DD. I encourage, but don't push. Stressing over it doesn't do either of you any good. Hang in there, your DD will figure it out soon enough.

[snowbunnies300]

I have three autistic children. None are toilet trained. Our 8yr non-verbal son uses the toilet but you have to tell him or have it on his schedule. He will not just go into the bathroom and void without being told. He still needs pull-ups at night. I have begun to wake him up before I got to bed and have him void. Hoping that he learns to hold it till morning. Most day I have to sit in the bathroom with him at night and beg him to have a BM. Sometimes we can leave him in the bathroom alone with a toy and he will got but most often we need to be in there with him. Our 6 yr old son will pee on the toilet sometimes and REFUSES to have a BM. You have to essentially stay with him in the bathroom to make certain he doesn't play with the liquid soap or shampoo or anything else to get into. Our 4 yr old non-verbal son will occasionally void in the bathroom. Again with the theme of "I won't do anything without you in the bathroom with me". I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. I spend a ton of money on pull-ups. DS1 wears underwear during the day but if you miss sending him to the bathroom you will have a mess on your hands. I've also cleaned more BM underwear than I one would think possible.

I am certainly tired of being in charge of so many fannies! Your little one will get it one of these days. She has a new younger sibling so that might be playing into the matter.

[ha98ed14]

Yeah. And this is not going to be a popular response, so I may not come back to the thread to see how horrible everyone thinks I am for forcing the issue.

DS was over three and clearly ready to use the potty except he didn't want to because of his anxiety, rigidity or whatever. He has special needs and his aide at his preschool, who was fabulous, said he is ready, we can do this. So she made a little picture of a potty, laminated it and glued it to a craft stick. She kept one and gave me one. Every time one of us handed him the potty stick he HAD to go and sit on the potty. He had one screaming fit that lasted for about 30 minutes with me on the second day where I had to stand in the bathroom with him and hold the door closed until he relented and sat on the potty. Otherwise he complied without much fuss and at the end of two weeks he was completely and totally potty trained.

I am not necessarily advising this approach for most kids, but I think it was right for ds. It got him potty trained before it became a social issue for him and I think his resistance to the change would have just gotten stronger if we had let him go longer.

Catherine

DD does not have special needs, but I forced the issue too. She was 3 years 3 months, plenty ready and plenty stubborn. I took away the diapers and told her no underwear until she showed me she could use the potty. I'm big into the "These are the choices: X or Y." So the choices were go on the potty or go on yourself. Thankfully she chose the potty, which I figured she would. But I can believe that a different kid would chose to soil themselves. DD wasn't *that* stubborn, but I am sure some kids are.

You know what will work best, but if your child is strong enough to handle the pressure without enduring trauma, I see nothing wrong with applying some pressure. I would not go as far as spanking or any physical punishments or time out for having accidents. But for us, the pressure of not soiling yourself got us where we needed to be.

[Staraglimmer]

I was sure that my DD would go to college in diapers! If your DD won't wear underwear, then I'd let her go naked from the waist down....dresses worked well for us. The things that helped for us were lots if books about potty training, letting her pick out underwear in the store, and biggest of all, letting her pick out a potty (even though we already had one). Once she had her own "little potty". Things went much better once she had the potty that she wanted. Really, it was like one day she was just ready. I know it is frustrating waiting though. Good luck, I hope it gets better soon!

[jse107]

I'm in the camp that says just wait. She isn't ready enough yet--she's not invested. Since she's typically developing, she'll figure it out and do it when she's ready. Why go through all the tears and stubborness (on both ends)?!?

[daisymommy]

Oh honey, I promise her time will come! I didn't even try to PT until 3 years old, because I knew my kids were not ready and were stubborn. DS #1 was 4 when he PT, and DD was a full 3.5

Give it time, she's not that old :)

[emily_gracesmama]

Katie didn't get interested until she was told she wasn't allowed to do gymnastics in a pullup their rule not mine. That got her started and she was a good 3 1/2. She was great at number 1 took a few weeks to get number 2 squared away and now we are completely free even at night. They all get there eventually but my first was done right at 3 so I get your pain!

[maestramommy]

Dora peed trained right before she turned 3, poop trained 6 months later, night trained summer before she turned 4.

Arwyn day trained 2 weeks before she turned 4, night trained 2 weeks later.

Laurel is peeing on the potty twice a day, has pooped on the potty twice, and that's where we're at right now.

[RedSuedeShoes]

My oldest was sort of late, too - about 3 years 9 months, I guess. I was worried that he wouldn't be PTed in time to start preschool (they only took PTed kids). I do remember being concerned about it, but never enough to turn it into a power struggle. Doesn't that just make it worse for everybody? A good friend forced it with her daughter and it worked at the time, but seemed to backfire later when she started pooping in her pants every day in kindergarten and first grade - yuck! I don't know, I just feel like they get it when they're ready. But I know it gets old cleaning butts! I am on my third toddler now (he's 2.5) so I'll be pretty happy when I change my last diaper. Hang in there, mama.