Is this crazy? Traveling alone with all the kids.

[swissair81]

We're going to Florida in the next month or so. DH wants to rent a car, and I said no because he refuses to bring car seats. I also nixed renting car seats, because I'm sure they are both gross and unsafe. His new plan is for me (who will 19 weeks pregnant next week) to fly alone with all 4 kids while he drives with our car, safe car seats, and all the luggage to Florida. All I would have to bring is my diaper bag, stroller, and something to amuse the kids- probably the iPad. Admittedly my oldest is 9, and she's a big help, but should I agree to this? It might be a hassle, but at least I know they'll be safe when we get there.

[maestramommy]

Why can't YOU drive alone with the carseats and stuff, while HE flies alone with your kids? Hmmmmm? :tongue5:

[swissair81]

Why can't YOU drive alone with the carseats and stuff, while HE flies alone with your kids? Hmmmmm? :tongue5:

Because I despise road trips, and he knows it. My patience is completely used up during the 10 or so hours to NYC. The 23 hours to Florida would totally do me in.

[connor_mommy]

Or have him drive all of the kids and you can enjoy a nice and relaxing flight.

[ellies mom]

Or have him drive all of the kids and you can enjoy a nice and relaxing flight.
:yeahthat:

How many layovers/flight changes? How long in the air? How long on the ground?

[maestramommy]

Or have him drive all of the kids and you can enjoy a nice and relaxing flight.

Oh I like this idea even better? Why should the pregnant hormonal and probably already sleep deprived mama have to travel alone with 4 kids?

[swissair81]

It's a direct 3 hour flight from Detroit Metro to Miami. He would leave in enough time to pick us up from the airport, so I only have to get us from the gate to the car. He didn't want to take the girls with him because they are both too old to bring into the men's room, and too young to be alone in a public rest stop bathroom. He did offer to take our son, who will probably be very upset that he will not be traveling with his sisters.

[swissair81]

Oh I like this idea even better? Why should the pregnant hormonal and probably already sleep deprived mama have to travel alone with 4 kids?

That sounds lovely. I'm just afraid if I say no, I'll end up holding my baby on my lap in the back of a rental car, because I refused the 'reasonable' suggestion. I don't even like bringing all of my kids to the mall by myself. Oh and I think I have to take a single stroller, and I don't think I can wear my baby. I only mention this because my son is a street runner.

[nfowife]

I would do it, don't think you are crazy. It's a direct flight, just bring a lot of snacks, and it will be doable. I flew with my 3 from Florida to Dallas (3 hour direct flight), then got our luggage, took a shuttle to off-site parking for the car, and we then drove 3 hours home. It was better for me than changing planes, and a lot cheaper that way. I think it will be fine.

[ellies mom]

It's a direct 3 hour flight from Detroit Metro to Miami. He would leave in enough time to pick us up from the airport, so I only have to get us from the gate to the car. He didn't want to take the girls with him because they are both too old to bring into the men's room, and too young to be alone in a public rest stop bathroom. He did offer to take our son, who will probably be very upset that he will not be traveling with his sisters.

Three hour direct flight, that gets you out of a long road trip? Yeah, I'd do it in a heart beat. I'd give the son the option of traveling with dad (see if dad would be willing to make it a special "adventure") but if he wants to fly I'd let him.

[swissair81]

Three hour direct flight, that gets you out of a long road trip? Yeah, I'd do it in a heart beat. I'd give the son the option of traveling with dad (see if dad would be willing to make it a special "adventure") but if he wants to fly I'd let him.

Not quite. We were going to fly anyway. We all have tickets to fly. My husband has a choice of using his ticket and coming with us or driving and allowing us to have use of a car big enough for all of us with age appropriate car seats facing in the appropriate directions.

My son might go for that. It really depends on how he takes it. He's equally into his father and his 'kids'.

[ellies mom]

Not quite. We were going to fly anyway. We all have tickets to fly. My husband has a choice of using his ticket and coming with us or driving and allowing us to have use of a car big enough for all of us with age appropriate car seats facing in the appropriate directions.

My son might go for that. It really depends on how he takes it. He's equally into his father and his 'kids'.

That is just silliness. Bring the car seats and rent a car for goodness sakes. What is it with men and their resistance to car seats? I could see my husband doing the exact same thing.

[egoldber]

What ages of kids?

[nfceagles]

That is just silliness. Bring the car seats and rent a car for goodness sakes. What is it with men and their resistance to car seats? I could see my husband doing the exact same thing.

I have to agree. These sounds like pretty extreme measures for solving an argument over car seats. For the money it will cost him to drive (assuming he can't get a refund on his plane ticket), you could buy some new car seats at your destination or pay the extra to check them. Although I guess you save on renting a car too.

Plus, how is it you only need to get from gate to car? If DH is leaving early, doesn't that also mean you need to get the kids from house to gate for your departure. And on the return trip, is he going to leave you early so he can be back in Detroit to pick you up. Do you have the extra car seats to send with him while leaving you with others at home to get to the airport with?

[swissair81]

What ages of kids?

9, 5, 3, and 19 months.

[swissair81]

I have to agree. These sounds like pretty extreme measures for solving an argument over car seats. For the money it will cost him to drive (assuming he can't get a refund on his plane ticket), you could buy some new car seats at your destination or pay the extra to check them. Although I guess you save on renting a car too.

Plus, how is it you only need to get from gate to car? If DH is leaving early, doesn't that also mean you need to get the kids from house to gate for your departure. And on the return trip, is he going to leave you early so he can be back in Detroit to pick you up. Do you have the extra car seats to send with him while leaving you with others at home to get to the airport with?

My sister can drive us to the airport in my car, and she can probably pick us up too. And we have 2 sets of car seats. It is extreme, but he is stubborn and I like my kids to be safe. Also, I'm not sure it would be so easy to bring 4 seats with us and actually be allowed to bring luggage too.

[misshollygolightly]

As I understand it, carseats don't count against your luggage allowance. You should still be able to bring the usual amount of checked suitcases (the number depends on the airline) in addition to your carseats. I'd just do that. You can always rent one of the little porter carts at the airport to haul the carseats and luggage to/from the airport gates. Why, exactly, does your DH have a problem with that? Assuming you can rent a vehicle that accommodates everyone at your destination, I think flying WITH the carseats would be the simplest, most reasonable option...am I missing something?!?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Can you do 2 of those travel booster/ harness things (Go Go Kidz?) for the older 2 then only have 2 carseats to deal with?

[niccig]

I think flying WITH the carseats would be the simplest, most reasonable option...am I missing something?!?

Is he trying to get out of the flight with 4 kids?

I have a padded carseat bag that could fit a carseat and a backless booster - you're 9 year old could be in that. So 2 carseat bags and you could probably get all the seats together to be checked. If he doesn't want to lug to the gate, you'll only need one for the 19 month old if you have a ticketed seat. The 9,5 and even 3 year old can be without a seat on the plane - I did put DS at 3 in a carseat, but he could have been fine at 3 too.

And as for driving around Florida without any carseats - cost out the price of a ticket if you get pulled over - not to mention dangerous.

I would be just as stubborn in return - no trip to Florida if the carseats aren't checked as luggage on the plane. DH learned quickly that what I want with carseats is what happens. I know more about it than he does, and it's easier to just agree with me, or I would explain in great detail why his idea was dangerous.

[elbenn]

Can you ship the carseats to your destination?

[hillview]

I'd get 2 of those bumble bums and take 2 seats and tell DH that since you are PG he should suck it up

[edurnemk]

I'd get 2 of those bumble bums and take 2 seats and tell DH that since you are PG he should suck it up

:yeahthat: I don't think flying with the 4 kids is impossible, especially since the oldest is 9 and can help out a bit. But this solution seems much more simple and probably less expensive than driving to Florida.

[georgiegirl]

You can check carseats for free. Just bring boosters for the older 2 and regular seats for the younger 2. Driving that far seems way more of a hassle than just bringing the seats. I've travelled by myself with 2 kids and 2 full size car seats. So long as you have help getting to check-in and the from baggage claim to the car (definitely spend a few $$ to get a porter with a large cart), it shouldn't be too horribly painful.

[GoBlue]

You can check carseats for free. Just bring boosters for the older 2 and regular seats for the younger 2. Driving that far seems way more of a hassle than just bringing the seats. I've travelled by myself with 2 kids and 2 full size car seats. So long as you have help getting to check-in and the from baggage claim to the car (definitely spend a few $$ to get a porter with a large cart), it shouldn't be too horribly painful.

:yeahthat:

This idea your DH has concocted is insane, for all of the reasons posted above.

1. Car seats are FREE to check and do not count against your luggage allotment.

2. Check two boosters, one for the 9 year old and 1 for the 5 year old.

3. Check the 3 year old's car seat, and get a CARES harness for the plane.

4 Bring ONE car seat on the plane....the one for the 19 month old.

5. Tell your DH to cool it. How he's made it through 4.5 pregnancies with you and not learned not to mess with the pregnant mama is beyond me.

Good luck!!!

[longtallsally05]

:yeahthat:

This idea your DH has concocted is insane, for all of the reasons posted above.

1. Car seats are FREE to check and do not count against your luggage allotment.

2. Check two boosters, one for the 9 year old and 1 for the 5 year old.

3. Check the 3 year old's car seat, and get a CARES harness for the plane.

4 Bring ONE car seat on the plane....the one for the 19 month old.

5. Tell your DH to cool it. How he's made it through 4.5 pregnancies with you and not learned not to mess with the pregnant mama is beyond me.

Good luck!!!

Yes, THIS!!! You could fly with your four children under the conditions you indicate, but why in Heaven's name would you want to do that when you could just do what GoBlue suggests? It makes so much more sense. If your DH doesn't agree with GoBlue's plan, then he's probably just trying to pick a fight instead of trying to get all of you to Florida.

[Robyn0204]

I'm doing it next week. I am not pregnant though. I am flying all my kids by myself from Philly to Detroit (so shorter flight). Like you my oldest is 9 and quite helpful. I do have to bring all the car seats and luggage and such though because we are renting a car on the other end since no one in my family can fit us all in their car. My husband is off doing some flight training though so it was either this or not seeing my family before we move to Japan in mid-May. I am trying to stay positive because I know we have a really really long flight in our future. NJ to Seattle and then Seattle to Tokyo.

Good luck!

[crl]

I would definitely want to all fly together. The oldest, honestly, I would just let go without a booster, although a bubblebum is a great idea. Another bubblebum for the 5 year old. Check the next one's car seat curbside and you only have to deal with one car seat through the airport. It can be bungied to a rollarboard suitcase so it's not that bad to get through the airport. The nine year old can even pull it for you all.

Does that solve all the objections or is there some problem with renting a big enough car too? Can't you just rent a minivan? By the time you eat the plane ticket and pay for the as to drive down there is the cost difference really worth the hassle for you?

Catherine

[oneplustwo]

No, I don't think it would be completely insane for you to fly with your kiddos. However, I'm very curious as to why your DH doesn't want to take the car seats along on the flight, and why his driving down and back is an easier solution to him. From my POV, having all of you fly and just bring the car seats along (or check them, or gate check them), and then renting a car at your destination, seem like a much easier solution.

I'm a car seat nut myself, so I get where you're coming from. Our family of five flew from New England to FL last month. Each kid carried his/her own backpack and booster onto the plane ~ the boosters don't count against carry-on luggage limits, and they stowed easily in the overhead bins. My kids are 10 and 8 (twins), though. They had no problem carrying their boosters. We could have gate checked them, but that would have meant waiting a bit for them upon each arrival. DH did talk about skipping the boosters and driving around FL without them, but I said that would be over my dead body (I phrased it differently, it came out much more nicely than that, but that's what I meant :loveeyes: ).

If you do travel alone with the kids, I'd like to think people will help you through the airport. My experience has been that people can ~ and do ~ spring into action to help a traveling mom juggling a bunch of young kids through an airport and onto a plane.

God luck figuring out your travel plans!!

[klwa]

So, I don't have 4, but the last time we went to Florida, right after we booked the flights, etc, something came up that ALMOST kept DH from flying down the same day as the rest of us. So, I sucked it up & figured I would be able to handle a 5 year old & a 2 year old in the airport, during transfer to our hotel, and for the first 2 days of our vacation without him. And I could have if things hadn't worked out. And, that was with me having to handle all carryons, etc. I think your DH's plan could work. (I think the other posters plan to bring the car seats is probably the better plan, but if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for you!)

[egoldber]

Unless you are driving long distances, I would also consider letting the 9 year old do without. But otherwise, check 2 boosters and 1 carseat and only use a carseat on the plane for the 19 month old. Have the older 2 carry their own boosters (bungee to a rolling bag/backpack) and they are good to go.

If you do travel alone with the kids, I'd like to think people will help you through the airport.

People *may* help, but you cannot count on it. And sometimes their "help" is more of a hindrance than a help. Minimize carry-ons as much as possible and expect the older 2 to help out.

[crl]

I'm doing it next week. I am not pregnant though. I am flying all my kids by myself from Philly to Detroit (so shorter flight). Like you my oldest is 9 and quite helpful. I do have to bring all the car seats and luggage and such though because we are renting a car on the other end since no one in my family can fit us all in their car. My husband is off doing some flight training though so it was either this or not seeing my family before we move to Japan in mid-May. I am trying to stay positive because I know we have a really really long flight in our future. NJ to Seattle and then Seattle to Tokyo.

Good luck!

I'm sure you can do it! It's a bit different when you don't have a choice.

Catherine

[kbud]

You still should pack a change of clothes and toiletries for the flight. As a former flight attendant I know that flights do get diverted every now and then. I was once stuck for 24 hours with nothing!

Sure you can do it but I think it's a crazy reason to do it. I say you all either drive or fly. I'd do what the others recommend, w/2 backless boosters and seats for the other ones. The 9 and 5 year old are old enough to carry theirs with them. Carseats don't count as luggage.

[kbud]

Is he trying to get out of the flight with 4 kids?

I have a padded carseat bag that could fit a carseat and a backless booster - you're 9 year old could be in that. So 2 carseat bags and you could probably get all the seats together to be checked. If he doesn't want to lug to the gate, you'll only need one for the 19 month old if you have a ticketed seat. The 9,5 and even 3 year old can be without a seat on the plane - I did put DS at 3 in a carseat, but he could have been fine at 3 too.

And as for driving around Florida without any carseats - cost out the price of a ticket if you get pulled over - not to mention dangerous.

I would be just as stubborn in return - no trip to Florida if the carseats aren't checked as luggage on the plane. DH learned quickly that what I want with carseats is what happens. I know more about it than he does, and it's easier to just agree with me, or I would explain in great detail why his idea was dangerous.


FYI, FL is terrible...no carseat or booster is needed for kids 4 and over. So legally in FL only the youngest 2 must be restrained in a carseat or booster.

[longtallsally05]

If you do travel alone with the kids, I'd like to think people will help you through the airport. My experience has been that people can ~ and do ~ spring into action to help a traveling mom juggling a bunch of young kids through an airport and onto a plane.

Well, they might and they might not. I've had both happen. Usually the people that spring into action are other women/mothers (Been there, done that), families travelling together (We're all in this together!), or military men (Gee, I sure hope someone helps my wife when I can't be there). Most people will just stand there and act like they don't see you. Don't take more stuff than you can handle by yourself. Assign your older children jobs (eg. Child A pushes Child D in a stroller) before you get to the airport and make sure all your kids know their taskings (eg. Child D knows he'll be in a stroller, holding his mini backpack, no whining!) and that they can carry their own stuff while doing those jobs. Talk it up like it's a big adventure. This is going to sound awful, but it's true so here it is: people are more likely to help you if you & your children are attractive. No messy hair, no crusty noses, no stained tee shirts. Make sure everyone looks their best; it helps if your children are wearing super cute clothes and look absolutely darling (think hairbows, coordinating colors etc). Smile & have a great trip!

[swissair81]

You guys all sound very reasonable- to me. However, DH automatically starts rolling his eyes whenever I say the word car seat. This is why I hate traveling with my kids. I manage to have my 3 and 5 year olds in 5 pt harnesses and my 19 mo RF even though my husband thinks I'm nuts. He rolls his eyes at me every time I tighten their harnesses from his 'comfortable' fit. I tried asking if we can just bring the infant bucket, but no. Apparently he can either drive or we can take taxis without car seats when we are there. I mentioned that the baby needs a car seat & he told me I can stay at the hotel with her. I'm so tired of this argument, I just want to cry. He's being so freaking unreasonable, and I didn't even want to go in the first place. The next time he wants to go away with the kids, he's going to get an earful from me.

ETA: My 3 year old just informed my husband that he is coming with us and we're putting the car seats under the airplane. And my husband agreed. Wonders will never cease. Apparently the only son powers work fairly well. I'm going to have to figure out how to take advantage of this.

[edurnemk]

Glad to know someone could talk some sense into him!

You could also just let your DH read this thread, so he can see how reasonable you are being and how everyone thinks it's nuts to drive 23 hours to FL and have you fly with the kids. ;) And BTW remind him that even in FL it's illegal for the 19 month old and the 3 yo to ride without car seats.

[oneplustwo]

Yippee for the power of three-year-olds! Get that little guy his own superhero cape to make sure he keeps that super-hero hold on your DH. Hugs to you. I hope your DH doesn't change his mind and it all works out!

[swissair81]

So we discussed it further and he agreed on taking our keyfit, a saferider vest, and a bubble bum booster. Not the most amazing, but definitely better than it could have been.

[crl]

Oh good.

Catherine

[kbud]

So we discussed it further and he agreed on taking our keyfit, a saferider vest, and a bubble bum booster. Not the most amazing, but definitely better than it could have been.

Yeah!!!

[crl]

Oh, just a thought on the bigger issue of him being resistant to car seats. Maybe you could set him up with some YouTube videos of crashes? Dh asked me (just in a I'm curious way) when we were going to turn dd FFing and I started talking about internal decapitation. He immediately promised to never ask again and to let me make all car seat related decisions in exchange for me never, ever saying those words in front of him again.

Anyway, yay for prevailing!

Catherine