Do you let friends borrow your car?

I'm just curious. A friend asked to borrow our minivan to pick up a large piece of furniture. I'm totally fine with it. I trust these people, they're good friends, they are safe drivers, they have never asked before and are not the type to take advantage of favors, and if something were to happen they'd go out of their way to make it right as best as they could. To me worst case would be sorting through insurance and being inconvenienced by only having one car should the borrowed one get wrecked.

DH isn't comfortable with it because of the chance that something could happen and the inconvenience it would be to us (basically unwillingness to take the risk - and there's nothing wrong with that). But he won't say "no" because he doesn't want them to think he's always the one to say no. (For background, he's the one who is always more likely to say "no" - for example "No, I don't want your out of town friends staying the night that I get back from a business trip because I want to come home to a quiet house", etc. He's definitely way more uptight about these things and yes, I'd agree with him that it appears that he's the one to always say no but what can I do about that? That's just the way things are....sorry that's a tangent!)

Anyway, it just got me wondering - are you comfortable with letting friends borrow your car on rare occasions?

Yes and we've borrowed their car. Friends have 2 kids, we have 1, so if take their 2 girls somewhere, it's easier to swap cars. She gets our Prius and we take her van. The chance of something happening while they have the car are pretty slim I feel. And we both have insurance and would make sure the other family wasn't left to pay for any damage.

Yes I would let friends borrow our cars. In my world view, we have insurance and I'm just not that worried. If I had some specific reason to worry about a specific friend (history of lots of accidents, etc), that would be different.

Catherine

We've let a friend borrow our pickup for several days. We weren't a bit worried and it came back to us in better condition than we gave it to him in...he changed the oil and all the belts!

We haven't had occasion to do so but I would be okay with it.

I think we're the opposite. DH would and has let friends borrow his car. I don't and wouldn't. I also would never ask to borrow a friend's car excluding an extreme emergency. I would offer to drive to the place, let them load it and then drive them where ever if it wasn't an inconvenience.

Yeah, I'm okay with people driving my car. My general thought is that I'm insured, and I'm not loaning it out to "just anyone." I do completely understand your DH's reservations, though. In essence, you are loaning your friend a $xx,xxx piece of machinery!

I let one of my good work friends borrow my car when she needs it and doesn't have her car. My coworkers let me use their cars as well. My sister will have my car part of the time when she comes for an extended visit; she actually has no choice--I'm not allowed to drive the day of my procedure, and she's volunteered to be my escort. I still borrow XSO's car when I have a reason to need a "nice" car... and I can't count the number of times, after the separation even, that XH lent me his vehicles for assorted reasons (needing space, moving, my car died, etc).

Yes, it's a "big" thing to loan out. But for people you know well that are low-risk, I'm okay with it. (But, that still does nothing to make your DH more comfortable with the idea!)

We have swapped cars with people when we swap babysitting. Meaning that if they are dropping off 2 kids to head out on a date, they leave their minivan with us if we are planning on taking the kids somewhere and they take our Camry. Other friends, we have 2 kids and they have 1 and drive a Honda Fit. If they are watching the boys, we take their Fit and leave them the Camry because they can go three across in the Camry but not the Fit. We have also lent our car to a neighbor without a car who needed to do some car errands- ie the bus was impracticable or impossible. It was at our suggestion.

There is a large van my friend kept mainly to help people move. We have borrowed it a bit. When it died (it was nearly 30 years old), more than 30 people commented on it on Facebook because they remembered using it for some group trip or big move or holiday toy drive etc.

One person and my dad have put some scratches in the paint (nothing serious or body shop worthy). I really don't care. It's a car. If they crash it, we have insurance for a reason. Thus far never had any issues.

It makes me really uneasy. I've done it before and I've driven other people's cars, but I just hate everything about it. It would be such a headache if there were an accident.

We have swapped cars with our neighbor a bunch of times.... usually it's us asking to borrow his pick up truck and we always leave him keys to one of our cars.... but he doesn't usually end up needing to drive our car. We all have insurance and we are very careful when driving other peoples cars ... I would expect they would be as well.

We've lent out our truck multiple times to friends who needed something moved.

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Originally Posted by crl

Yes I would let friends borrow our cars. In my world view, we have insurance and I'm just not that worried. If I had some specific reason to worry about a specific friend (history of lots of accidents, etc), that would be different.

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:yeahthat: I can't remember the last time I was asked but this is my feeling too. My friends are all pretty responsible.

I would do it no issue.

We have an old, beat-up pickup truck that we tend to loan out to family/friends pretty frequently for moving/hauling junk/transporting yard stuff/etc. If any particular person seemed really irresponsible or had a horrible driving record I might hesitate, but as PPs have said, we have insurance, and we only loan it out to good friends and family who we know would help make the situation right if anything did happen.

I think the only time we ever said "no" was when a friend wanted to borrow it for a week to drive out of state; just seemed like a long time to be without a second vehicle, and for some reason I wasn't as comfortable with it being borrowed for a long-distance type thing.

I would do it in that situation. For longer trips/full day...maybe not. Depends on the friend.

i'll be a voice of dissent...i get where your DH is coming from. i would feel weird if anyone asked to borrow our minivan, unless it was a semi-emergency situation (e.g. someone's sick or hospitalized, and the family needs a van to transport family members coming from out of town, or something to that effect). I guess because first of all i would never dream of asking to borrow someone's car...i would just rent one out or pay a delivery fee rather than to ask a friend. I would be so uncomfortable and would be walking (or driving? lol) on eggshells the entire time if i had to drive someone else's car. Also, i don't realy know how the insurance thing works..if anything happened it seemed like i would be awkward situation...if there was an accident, how would the insurance work out?? would it be my insurance (for the car) or the driver's? I don't know. I'm probably over thinking it, as it's unlikely that anything will happen, but that's my take on it. I'd be willing to lend out pretty much anything to a friend but for some reason a car makes me think twice.

as a PP said you could offer to drive and pick up the furniture for them.

We have. It's a very rare occurrence and we totally trust the people we have lent our vehicle to.

I woud not. If something were to happen, the insurance headache would be horrendous and your rates would probably go up because you lent the vehicle.

I do not understand why they would not just rent a U-haul van for the day as PP said.

I have let close family use my car and even that makes me slightly uncomfortable.

As for your DH always being the one to say no, as a couple we generally present a united front. So I would never tell someone they could stay at my house without talking with DH and if his answer was no I would just say that it wasn't going to work out for us.

I don't have a huge issue with it, but I do get nervous driving other people's cars. We don't do it often. We have left our car with DD1's godparent's when they watch the girls for a long weekend so we don't have to install car seats and such.

In regards to the insurance issue if they get in an accident their insurance should cover them. That is what I have always been told.

No.
If someone needed help picking up furniture, I'd rather do the driving to go get it with them.

We have no problem with it. When friends and family come to visit we let them use our vehicles and when we visit them they let us use their vehicles.

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Originally Posted by vonfirmath

No.
If someone needed help picking up furniture, I'd rather do the driving to go get it with them.

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This is how I feel. We have used our van many times to help friends transport large items. But we drive. I have allowed my best friend and my mom to drive my car while I ride along. They are much better drivers than I am and are more confident driving long distances.

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Originally Posted by Pear

I have let close family use my car and even that makes me slightly uncomfortable.

As for your DH always being the one to say no, as a couple we generally present a united front. So I would never tell someone they could stay at my house without talking with DH and if his answer was no I would just say that it wasn't going to work out for us.

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See that's the thing - I don't agree to something until I check with him first. But all my friends know he's the one who said no. So what then?:shrug: And often they can just figure it out. Re: staying at our house. We rarely have friends stay overnight - it happens maybe once or twice a year. But when it does, and DH balks and I have to say no - it's easy to figure out who said no because my friends know that we had NOTHING going on that weekend, and also because they know me and know that I totally would've been fine with it. It does create tension between us because DH thinks I don't take his feelings into consideration - but I DO - that's why I say "let me talk to DH first" - there's just nothing I can do about him thinking he's always the one to say no when the FACT is that he IS always the one to say no:)

Anyway back to the car thing - I just thought this was interesting. I know people could go either way on this and I am one of those who would never ask to borrow a car from anyone other than my family unless there was an emergency-type situation because I'd be driving on eggshells and that would make ME uncomfortable. But if a responsible friend asks me once in a blue moon I'm OK with it. And it's totally fine that DH is not but he's making me feel guilty about saying yes when he says "I'm not comfortable with it but go ahead and say yes because they'll know I said no." What am I supposed to do with that? I told him repeatedly "they will understand if we're not comfortable with it" and he argues that "but it doesn't change the fact that they will know who said no." I can't win! LOL! I'll gladly take any advice on this! And for the record, I've already told these friends yes, because DH insisted he didn't want to always be the one to say no.

We visited some friends in Seattle and they offered to let us drive their stick while they were at work (neither of us drives stick). In Seattle (hilly). I told DH "No way, we'll take the bus - you can't drive a stick on these hills" plus the bus station was totally walkable...but DH insisted that they let us borrow the car and he wanted to drive it (I think this is more of a Man. Stick Shift. Macho. Type of situation.) So we get in their car and I insist he practices around the neighborhood first. He stalls it out like 10 times and I'm like LET'S TAKE THE FREAKIN' BUS!!!" LOL! So HE has no problem driving someone else's car that he's not even comfortable with driving!

Anyway, back to the car borrowing - I told him he could drive (he's taking that day off from work) but he complained that it would mean losing a couple hrs of his day off. Argh.

It depends on who was asking, and what for exactly. When we were little, a neighbor borrowed my family's station wagon for a week for their vacation. They returned it fine, and as a thankyou, they gave our family a slide projector and a screen and something like 50 rolls of 35mm film (this must have been right after my dad got our nice camera). Watching this happen when I was a little kid was instructional - we were all so appreciative of the "gift" and with 4 young children, my parents would never have bought themselves such a lavish gift. I remember watching slideshows and thinking how lucky we were and how well it worked out. Of course, an accident could have happened and it could have been a headache, but I do think that my parents accepted that risk.

Fast forward to us, and one of our nannies once asked if she could borrow our SUV to take her immediate family (parents and cousins) on a skiing trip. We said no. Frankly they had the money to rent something, and we just didn't trust the situation. She was always asking to borrow things (like our coffee maker for weekends they were having company) and things got broken (they borrowed our powerwasher for their deck and it broke).

So I think it depends. I could envision several friends asking to borrow our SUV (or us borrow theirs) and we would feel fine. Sure there could be an accident, but I would assume that the borrower would handle the hassle and extra expense (maybe not with increased rates... but I think our good friends would "make it right" somehow, as we would try to do). But I would decline several other people as well.

really, never ever. if a friend needs help, we always drive ourselves.

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Originally Posted by ♥ms.pacman♥

i'll be a voice of dissent...i get where your DH is coming from. i would feel weird if anyone asked to borrow our minivan, unless it was a semi-emergency situation (e.g. someone's sick or hospitalized, and the family needs a van to transport family members coming from out of town, or something to that effect). I guess because first of all i would never dream of asking to borrow someone's car...i would just rent one out or pay a delivery fee rather than to ask a friend. I would be so uncomfortable and would be walking (or driving? lol) on eggshells the entire time if i had to drive someone else's car. Also, i don't realy know how the insurance thing works..if anything happened it seemed like i would be awkward situation...if there was an accident, how would the insurance work out?? would it be my insurance (for the car) or the driver's? I don't know. I'm probably over thinking it, as it's unlikely that anything will happen, but that's my take on it. I'd be willing to lend out pretty much anything to a friend but for some reason a car makes me think twice.

as a PP said you could offer to drive and pick up the furniture for them.

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Agreed! (What if) the friend that borrows it gets drunk and kills someone or recklessy drives the vehicle, you and your insurance are now liable. You could lose everything financially... Just saying... think twice before lending your car.

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Originally Posted by daisysmom

It depends on who was asking, and what for exactly. When we were little, a neighbor borrowed my family's station wagon for a week for their vacation. They returned it fine, and as a thankyou, they gave our family a slide projector and a screen and something like 50 rolls of 35mm film (this must have been right after my dad got our nice camera). Watching this happen when I was a little kid was instructional - we were all so appreciative of the "gift" and with 4 young children, my parents would never have bought themselves such a lavish gift. I remember watching slideshows and thinking how lucky we were and how well it worked out. Of course, an accident could have happened and it could have been a headache, but I do think that my parents accepted that risk.

Fast forward to us, and one of our nannies once asked if she could borrow our SUV to take her immediate family (parents and cousins) on a skiing trip. We said no. Frankly they had the money to rent something, and we just didn't trust the situation. She was always asking to borrow things (like our coffee maker for weekends they were having company) and things got broken (they borrowed our powerwasher for their deck and it broke).

So I think it depends. I could envision several friends asking to borrow our SUV (or us borrow theirs) and we would feel fine. Sure there could be an accident, but I would assume that the borrower would handle the hassle and extra expense (maybe not with increased rates... but I think our good friends would "make it right" somehow, as we would try to do). But I would decline several other people as well.

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Yes, always make sure you have the financial means to replace whatever your are borrowing from someone (IE.. camera, etc) in case it gets wrecked/stolen rule #1. This goes back nearly 15yrs... A friend of mine loaned his then expensive F5 Nikon SLR camera, the friend lost it/stolen, the friend didn't have the $$ to pay for it... That turned into a nightmare.

Yes. Well, when we had one worth borrowing. Like when I had a truck. Now, I'm more likely to borrow then to be borrowed from.

If we can though, we try to do it so they have time to come along and drive if they want so they feel more comfortable. Like we bought a bunch of trees one time. We just scheduled it with a friend when they had time and they just met us at the nursery and drove the stuff back to our house for us with us following.

Course, not all friends care. Another friend just tosses us the keys. The husband is willing to just toss me the keys to their brand new 5 series BMW and says "have fun". But I helped them buy about half their stuff (including that car, their house, etc).

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Originally Posted by twowhat?

See that's the thing - I don't agree to something until I check with him first. But all my friends know he's the one who said no. So what then?:shrug: And often they can just figure it out. Re: staying at our house. We rarely have friends stay overnight - it happens maybe once or twice a year. But when it does, and DH balks and I have to say no - it's easy to figure out who said no because my friends know that we had NOTHING going on that weekend, and also because they know me and know that I totally would've been fine with it. It does create tension between us because DH thinks I don't take his feelings into consideration - but I DO - that's why I say "let me talk to DH first" - there's just nothing I can do about him thinking he's always the one to say no when the FACT is that he IS always the one to say no:)

Anyway back to the car thing - I just thought this was interesting. I know people could go either way on this and I am one of those who would never ask to borrow a car from anyone other than my family unless there was an emergency-type situation because I'd be driving on eggshells and that would make ME uncomfortable. But if a responsible friend asks me once in a blue moon I'm OK with it. And it's totally fine that DH is not but he's making me feel guilty about saying yes when he says "I'm not comfortable with it but go ahead and say yes because they'll know I said no." What am I supposed to do with that? I told him repeatedly "they will understand if we're not comfortable with it" and he argues that "but it doesn't change the fact that they will know who said no." I can't win! LOL! I'll gladly take any advice on this! And for the record, I've already told these friends yes, because DH insisted he didn't want to always be the one to say no.

We visited some friends in Seattle and they offered to let us drive their stick while they were at work (neither of us drives stick). In Seattle (hilly). I told DH "No way, we'll take the bus - you can't drive a stick on these hills" plus the bus station was totally walkable...but DH insisted that they let us borrow the car and he wanted to drive it (I think this is more of a Man. Stick Shift. Macho. Type of situation.) So we get in their car and I insist he practices around the neighborhood first. He stalls it out like 10 times and I'm like LET'S TAKE THE FREAKIN' BUS!!!" LOL! So HE has no problem driving someone else's car that he's not even comfortable with driving!

Anyway, back to the car borrowing - I told him he could drive (he's taking that day off from work) but he complained that it would mean losing a couple hrs of his day off. Argh.

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Ok, now your DH is sounding really unreasonable (especially w/ the stick shift story, LOL!). You are right, he is putting you in a lose-lose situation and that's really unfair...i mean, either have the balls to say no, or offer up to drive them instead, or just agree to let them borrow it and figure it's a one-time thing and not complain or make you feel bad about it. I have no advice, other than i'd be frustrated too!

Anyway, re: the van, I'm sure everything will be fine. I would just tell your DH that after telling your friends yes, what's done is done and he's not allowed to complain further about it :)

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Originally Posted by vonfirmath

No.
If someone needed help picking up furniture, I'd rather do the driving to go get it with them.

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:yeahthat: My issue is that ppl wanting to borrow my minivan, most likely drive a smaller car and are just not used to a larger vehicle. I think that would put them at a higher risk of an accident. Plus, I don't want them scratching up my car while loading stuff. So, I might agree to help them, but I'd be present. FWIW, DH has a co-worker who has a truck and trailer and he willingly helps us transport large things (he drives his own truck), but DH always compensates by paying for a round of golf, etc..

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Originally Posted by hellokitty

:yeahthat: My issue is that ppl wanting to borrow my minivan, most likely drive a smaller car and are just not used to a larger vehicle. I think that would put them at a higher risk of an accident. Plus, I don't want them scratching up my car while loading stuff. So, I might agree to help them, but I'd be present. FWIW, DH has a co-worker who has a truck and trailer and he willingly helps us transport large things (he drives his own truck), but DH always compensates by paying for a round of golf, etc..

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We have never had anyone ask to borrow our vehicles, but when DH's aunt takes my son to her house I just let her take my van and keep her car. Then I drive to her house and pick up kid and car. However, we just got DS a swingset and instead of asking to borrow their truck we just scheduled pick-up when it was convenient for DH's uncle to drive out there. We gave them $20 for gas/mileage for about 10 miles roundtrip.