How would you / do you handle

these toddler issues?

- DS1 has started saying "I don't love you", "I don't like you", and "go away". I generally tell him I'm sorry to hear that but that I love him or like him. Sometimes I tell him that's not a nice thing to say and that it hurts my feelings. Should I be ignoring it?

- DS1 has reverted back to eating with his hands instead of utensils. He can use utensils and will use them for soup or yogurt and other things that are necessary but won't use them for rice, macaroni and cheese and other things that he manages to eat with his hands. Should I trying to get him to use the utensils more or just leave him alone in hopes that it will pass soon?

I mostly ignore these things. When my girls say "go away", I do. Stunning how quickly they realize that they don't really mean it. Now, when they say it the way that suggests they are up to no good (instead of their mean/angry way) I don't, of course. The "I don't like you" stuff, I just chalk up the fact that this really the only way they have to express anger. Better than hitting. The utensils thing is making me pull my hair out. My 5yo is doing this. Just lots of correction.

The "go away" and "I hate you" are pretty common when they finally realize words have power. And they play with that power, because as a small child, there isn't much you can do to have power in the world of powerful adults.

Sometimes I try to rephrase..."It sounds like you are angry with me because I wouldn't let you XYZ" or whatever is appropriate. Sometimes I just ignore it and avoid giving it more power. Sometimes I just say "well, I'll always love you." It just depends on the circumstances.

Eating with hands in an older child I'd probably end the meal depending on the age (I'm thinking over 3-4 yo) after a warning. If it is regular problem I'd remind *before* the meal that we use utensils and then maybe offer one reminder.