RE: where to find gender neutral clothing
Although we did decide to find out both times, here are my thoughts on the matter:
Be flexible on what you assign as boy and girl as far as colors go. I have lotsa "boy" colors for DD and mixed in with all her other stuff she doesn't usually look boyish. She actually looks great in deep red shirts and jeans, for example.
Also, you might want to buy a couple boy and girl outfits, but keep the receipts and just return the few you don't need. I tend to shop at a few great consignment shops here in town so I don't mind buying far ahead. And I have been lucky that DD has always fit into her age appropriate size - but I know that many babies don't! I think it's also a bit easier to have a girl fit into sizes that might not fit exactly because you don't notice if her dress is an inch too short, but you will notice if her pants are too short.
We decorated DD's room in neutrals except the bedding, which could easily have been switched out. We had a mural painted and I didn't want it to be too babyish, so it's actually a very realistic painting of a forest which could go either way.
It is very hard to find gender neutral clothes that aren't green and yellow, but it is also very hard to find girl clothes that aren't pink with flowers or kittens and boy clothes with stripes and cars/sports/dogs on them! It's frustrating, but still fun to shop for a new baby!
DD#1 is 7 years old
DD#2 is 6 year old