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  1. #1
    sdbc Guest

    Default place for time-out?

    We want to start doing time-out with DD when she scratches or hits us. Everything I've read says NOT to use the crib for time outs, but she won't stay put in one spot even for a second when she's in the midst of a tantrum. What do you use for time-outs for an 18 month old? Our pack-n-play is at daycare. We could buy another, but it takes up so much space... Our pediatrician said the crib would be fine since she would know the difference between time-out and sleep time at this point.

    What have you all done?

    Thanks!

    Sue, mommy to Aurora (Rory) born 5/13/04

  2. #2
    Momof3Labs is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Default RE: place for time-out?

    Early on, we used the high chair. As DS got older, we used his bedroom and still do.
    Single mom to

    DS ("twice exceptional") - September 2002
    DS - February 2006
    DD - July 2009
    DD - July 2009

  3. #3
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    Default RE: place for time-out?

    I use the crib, but she does not confuse the two. Time out is time out. Lights on, I put her in standing up, and I've clearly told her she's in time out and why.

    Bedtime is a bath, a book, rocking chair, music, blanky...yada, yada, yada.

    She's always been a great sleeper, knock wood, so in our case there was absolutely no confusion.

    HTH!

  4. #4
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    Default RE: place for time-out?

    It sounds like you've already gotten great advice. I didn't use the crib for time-outs because dd already hated her crib & I didn't want her to hate it more. Honestly, she didn't sit for time-outs until she was around 2 1/2. She got time-outs and wouldn't sit still, but she knew what they were. As she got older, she finally listened and goes right to time-out now. Good luck!
    Kim

  5. #5
    Elena is offline Copper level (50+ posts)
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    Default RE: place for time-out?

    I personally don't believe in time outs. Burton White (the author of "The first three years of life") recommends doing the opposite: instead of taking away your child's freedom to move, you take away the most important thing for them - their access to you. If you have a gate in your house, when your child does something you seriously disapprove, tell her that you don't like her behaviour and will have to use the gate, and then go behind the gate so that she can see you but cannot get to you. I use the gate that locks the stairs in our house. That way DS is still free to go anywhere on the whole floor, but he just stands by the gate trying to reach me.

    I did it a few times when he tried to pull my hair, and my leaving really worked to communicate my disapproval.

    This is a techinique he recommends for toddlers older than 14 months.

    ETA: Another short but helpful book is "1,2,3... The Toddler Years" by Irene Van der Zande. When your daughter hits you, it might be a sign that she needs some help in learning to how express her anger in socially acceptable ways. ("You can hit the floor when you are mad, but you can't hit mommy...")

  6. #6
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    Default RE: place for time-out?

    We used the laundry room (it is baby safe, all chemicals are up high, etc). What I would do is put up a baby gate and put her in the laundry room and walk away for a minute. Sometime after 2 we did the more traditional time out because she knew that it meant she had to stay in one spot. We use the bottom stair now. The cute thing is she'll go and sit there and tell us she needs a break when she starts acting up, so it's nice to have a place that she can go to on her own.

    At 18 months DD wouldn't stay in one place, so the baby gate really worked out well for us. She hated that she couldn't see or be with me, and that was enough for her to figure out quickly that time out was not fun!
    Lisa
    Emma 11/02
    Adam 2/07
    Their hands may be small but their feelings are just as big as ours.

  7. #7
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    Default RE: place for time-out?

    That's wonderful that your dd goes to the stair to chill out! What a great display of her self control. :D

    We use the bottom step or the rug by the front door. :D
    ~~AngelaS~~
    Mommy to 3 girls: A, G and M. (15, 11 and 8.5)

    The education of all children, from the moment that they can get along without a mother's care, shall be in state institutions at state expense.
    – Karl Marx, "The Communist Manifesto"

  8. #8
    neeter is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: place for time-out?

    we would put him in the corner, and he'd actually stay there (most of the time) until it was time for him to come out. sometimes we'd hover nearby to make sure he doesn't leave. lately, though, he's been testing us so we put him alone behind the gate in our playroom (we're nearby and can see him but separated by the gate). even though its his playroom, he knows its time out, and he gets upset because he's alone. we put him there for about a minute or a minute and a half...

  9. #9
    jbrandy is offline Silver level (200+ posts)
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    Default RE: place for time-out?

    We use a step for time out in our house. We find that a step is convienent because you can find one most anywhere you go.

    Beth B
    DS 4-4-03

  10. #10
    lizamann Guest

    Default RE: place for time-out?

    We just said "no hitting!" and that's worked for us. I find that my dd lashes out more when I try things on the punitive side, but responds really well to direct "no's" without punishment.

    The times I've done timeout have been for ME because I was frustrated, and only at bedtime (I have a night owl.) She's been left in her crib to shriek at bedtime for a few minutes, and I don't think it's made her sleep any worse than it already was LOL.

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