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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Michigan.
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    808

    Default Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    My DD was in the PICU last week because of her metabolic disorder. I called my mom to let her know the afternoon after we got there at 3 am. She did not come to the hospital to see us, but did call the next afternoon when we were getting discharged. SHe did not call again the entire weekend. I call my p's today about our plans to take them to dinner this weekend (plans we made a while ago) and yes, she asked about DD--BUT she went on and on about my second cousin's children, three of whom are getting their tonsils out next week. She talked to the children's grandmother (my great Aunt) and proceeded to tell me how worried she must be, tonsils are really a big deal, etc. WTF??!! I didn't get anywhere near that amount of support when DD was in the hospital. My feelings are so hurt right now I can hardly keep from crying.

    My mom just seems to check out of my life whenever it gets complicated...

  2. #2
    dr mom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Jun 2004
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    North Carolina
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    1,569

    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    So sorry to hear that DD was in the hospital. It's terribly stressful when your little one is sick, and it's a shame that your mom isn't able to give you the support you need right now.

    Hope your DD is doing better now. Do you think your mom would be open to some specific suggestions about what you want her to do in the future? Maybe while she is a captive audience at dinner, you can share some of your feelings with her "it was so scary and stressful while DD was in the hospital, it would have helped to have visitors/calls/someone keeping an eye on the house, if this happens again would you mind doing XYZ for us because it would really help us out..."

    Alternately, you could check her into the hospital too, and see about getting her a Clue transplant, so that next time she isn't so clueless!
    Cindy, Mommy to DS 2/04 and DS 2/08

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Michigan.
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    808

    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    Okay, the clue transplant made me laugh out loud, thanks!

    (Thanks for the good advice, I think I will try to bring it up rather than just pouting, which was my original plan!)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    5,299

    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    Sorry your feelings were hurt. C gave good advice but feel free to pout too.

    Hugs!



    http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]
    Last edited by Wife_and_mommy; 02-16-2010 at 02:29 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    .
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    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    Hugs to you. I can understand how hurt you were by her behavior. I wonder if she was really scared about what happened, and just didn't want to admit it? I think the idea of making concrete suggestions to her is a terrific one - it gives you something specific to talk about instead of just feeling sad. I hope you're able to help her understand how sad you felt. :(

  6. #6
    JTsMom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Mar 2005
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    Atlanta, GA
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    8,666

    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    That was my thought too. Maybe she was so scared that she just went into panic mode or something.

    Hope your DD is doing well.
    Lori
    Mom to Jason 05/05
    and Zachary 05/10

  7. #7
    janeybwild is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    1,639

    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    Don't know if she's crazy, but you're definitley not nuts. You have to let her know how let down you feel. Just for your sanity, even if she doesn't get it. Hugs to you, and glad your DD is home safe and sound.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    St. Louis, MO, USA.
    Posts
    1,610

    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    I'd be pouting, too. That really sucks. It's bad enough that she couldn't really be bothered with your DD's troubles. I can't believe she compounded it by hovering over someone else's grandkids and gushing about it to you! Talk about twisting the knife. I'm so sorry that your mom isn't more supportive and gentle with you and your family. Big hugs and I hope your DD is doing better.
    Erica, mama to Lucas Owen 1/11/05, Finn William 2/22/08 and Ethan James 2/10/10

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Michigan.
    Posts
    808

    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    Thanks everyone!! My mom totally dropped the ball on this one, but it confirmed what I already know. We need to move back to civilization so I don't feel so isolated. I left the area I lived in for 10 years when we married, and although I love the country, it is too lonely for a SAHM. Once DH is done with his program, I think we are going to start looking. It will be sooo difficult to leave our house since we built it ourselves. Of course, when we bought the property we didn't know we'd have a (wonderful) child who needs more frequent hospitalizations. We are 45min away from the hospital she stays at because our country hospital doesn't have a peds floor.

    Thanks again for the kind words!!

  10. #10
    kgoble78 Guest

    Default RE: Is my mom crazy or am I nuts?

    That is horrible! Can you tell her she sucks?! Just kidding. I would tell her your feelings are hurt. I am amazed at how grandparents can be sometimes.

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