Saying it's for a "family gathering" vs. wedding

[jcc813]

I'm curious if anyone has done this when talking to vendors...I've read tips (including from the Bridal Bargains book) that you should try doing this to avoid the wedding markup.

But at some point the vendors are probably going to find out that you're really holding a wedding (like when you mention that you'll also be needing a tiered cake)....so how does one actually pull this off? Do you just mention that it's a family gathering when you ask for their initial quotes? At what point/how do you spill that it's really for a wedding?

[virtualvoice]

I tried this once and the caterer automatically assumed the event was a wedding. It could be because I was asking ~9 mos in advance, I don't know. Since then I haven't tried it.

I have found that being honest about my budget up front ($15/person for the food portion) will quickly let me know if a caterer will work with me or not. Most are willing to work with me when I let them know that I am okay with compromises and a less formal meal (our wedding & reception are in a park).

I would be curious about others' experiences, too.

[dreadesj]

we have been looking for a site in our area now for 2-3 months and have found that no one can fit our budget , so i got desperate and used this strategy and it worked we are now negotiating with a site that will cost us $35.00pp for a family reunion vs $55.00pp for the wedding. i'm nervous about how or when to come clean with our wedding. i would love it if anyone could give me advise... i am not expecting anything more from the site, just the same food, etc, etc offered us at $35.00pp. wedding is a family function, right? all we need to add is a toast and change the individual desserts to a wedding cake. ??? any advise on how and when to tell them it's really a wedding would be helpful... thanks

[AshevilleGroomAjay]

I'm also curious because read that also, not only in Bridal Bargains, but in at least 2 other sources. I mean, it makes sense, and I wouldn't feel bad about doing it. Like Bridal Bargains says, wedding vendors basically are out for the money, and as far as I'm concerned, the food is the same whether it's for a business meeting, family reunion, or wedding reception. But what happens when it inevitably must be revealed that it is in fact a wedding? Do caterers get upset, feel duped or lied to? Has anyone experienced or know anyone who did that only to have the caterer back out because of it?

[Gretchen]

After all lots of family and other events have cakes and/or toasts - Christenings, anniversaries, birthdays, retirements. Should the fact that the cake's layered make a big difference? (Especially if you have fewer tiers than are needed to serve your guests and a sheet cake that's cut before you cut the tiers.)

I'm interested to here anyone's experience, too.

Gretchen