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  1. #1
    himom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default Combined Baby's First Birthday -- whaddya think?

    We are already planning DS's first birthday party. A close friend of ours has a little boy (Jude) that is only a week older than Josh, and she asked us if we wanted to combine their first birthday party. DH and I like this family and we all get along very well. None of us has really strong preferences about the theme, favors, etc and we are all pretty mellow so I'm sure there won't be any problems with compromising, planning etc. We go to the same church so we will be inviting many of the same people.

    I like the idea of a combined party but we're worried about our families and non-mutual friends. DH says that he thinks they might be uncomfortable because many of them will not know each other and they will have no idea who the other baby is. Also, we are worried that our guests may feel as though they should purchase Jude a gift, and their guests may feel they should buy Josh one. ??

    And how would we word the invitations? Should we have two separate cakes? Sing "happy birthday" to each child separately?

    I had already decided to have the party at a beach park, so it won't be really formal. I thought we could have a nice cake, a lunch, "happy birthday" and possibly some games & favors.

    I'd love some ideas or advice! TIA!

    Jodi
    Mommy to Joshua, born February 2003

  2. #2
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    Default RE: Combined Baby's First Birthday -- whaddya think?

    This sounds like a nice idea for the people you go to church with and perhaps some of the mutual/non mutual friends. However, I personally would have an additional party with just your family and perhaps closest non mutual friends. That can be something simple with just cake and coffee and more center attention on baby rather then food, theme etc. Especially since its a first birthday for family I think thats something special that should be celebrated together without others, ie another child.

    I think that the combined party would work great but really only with the mutual friends. Im not sure about the wording on the invitations unless you both get together and send them out as one, rather then you each sending invitations to the same people. If you go in together then they would have to bring a present for each child (unless you note present optional or dont bring a gift), thats why the mutual friends only might be the best route to go.

    As far as cake is concerned.....I would do one big cake (possibly decorated with the theme etc), but give each child a small cake or cupcake to destory. You can sing the song together...ie happy birthday to Joshua and Jude...etc...however the best part of the whole first birthday thing is them getting to eat the cake, hands face, whatever they get free reign to have as much fun as possible. I still remember my sister with a big smile on her face as she bend down and took a big bite out of the side of it. You want the individual pictures of that whole event as it is priceless and I cant wait for Lil'bits first cake as we missed it with Angela. Especially if you have not let him have cake until now, let alone one he can eat any way he chooses. Heck...youll be at the beach just let him go rinse off in the water hehehehe :)

    If you do the combined beach party you can word the invitations something like come and play at the beach with Joshua and Jude as they celebrate their first birthdays together....something along those lines. As I type this now I think you should send out the invitations together so each person only recieves one, and really only invite mutual friends, possibly grandparents etc. If I personally was invited to a party with another child I did not know I would feel obligated to bring that child a gift even if it was mentioned as not needed, it just doesnt seem fair somehow. It sounds like it could be a lot of fun and if you go in on it together it wont be that expensive which will leave room for you to have an additional party with family and other friends. I know it seems like much but its actually easier...believe me I know...i have four sets of family I have to try and have a party for because of Angela's bio parents...sheesh what a mess that was!

    anyhow...just my two cents...good luck, I cant wait to hear how it turns out!

  3. #3
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    Default RE: Combined Baby's First Birthday -- whaddya think?

    I say what the heck...you sound like a laid back kinda gal...
    I would send invitations out to your people for your son and have her send out invitations to her people for his son. (You don't have to confuse your guests and they won't feel responsible to buy 2 gifts.) It just happens that you are celebrating together! One cake...Happy Birthday Josh and Jude...separate little ones for them to smush their little faces in for a photo op...a little lunch, some games, favors...done! People might make new friends...or stick with the ones they have...it doesn't matter...and the kids will love having extra new friends to play with!

    All IMHO...

    Jamie
    Mommy to Kayla
    5/1/03

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Default RE: Combined Baby's First Birthday -- whaddya think?

    I totally agree and couldn't have said it better myself. Have fun!
    Mama to "The Fantastic Four":
    DS 02
    DD 06
    DS 09
    DD 12

  5. #5
    mharling Guest

    Default RE: Combined Baby's First Birthday -- whaddya think?

    Since you say you're both pretty mellow and don't foresee issues compromising, I think it could be done. My brother and SIL actually had a joint baptism picnic. It was at a park and was very casual. Because of this, I was going to suggest a casual outdoor location, but you already thought of that! They went to the same church as the other family too, so lots of people already knew each other. Lots of people didn't know each other, but it worked out OK. The church people in particular (probably since they knew both families) were very interested in identifying friends and families they didn't know. I didn't know many people and primarily hung out with my family. I didn't think the mix of people was awkward at all.

    Some other thoughts:
    - I would do one main cake and split the cost with the other family and then have separate small cakes for each of the babies.
    - I don't think people would feel like they had to bring a gift for the other baby. We didn't feel this way at all for the baptism.
    - You could each do your own invitations to come to your baby's party and put a little note at the bottom about it being a joint celebration.

    Good luck!! I'll let you know if I think of anything else.


    Mary & Lane 4/6/03
    http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=...21b3237413c427 - New 6/18

  6. #6
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    Default RE: Combined Baby's First Birthday -- whaddya think?

    I agree with Kathryn. I think I'd have a separate smaller party for just family. Of course this may depend on your family, but my family would not have liked the combined party because they wanted to focus all the attention on DS on his special day, etc. The combined party sounds like fun for mutual friends.

    One other thing to think about with the combined party -- Will you be able to select a time for the party that doesn't conflict with either child's nap time? This was crucial in the success of our 1st birthday party. I scheduled it right after DS's morning nap and ended it before his afternoon nap so that he was in a good mood the whole time. Just something to think about.

    Have fun!
    Mommy to Justin (13 years) & Ashlyn (8 years)

  7. #7
    mama2be Guest

    Default RE: Combined Baby's First Birthday -- whaddya think?

    I too think it sounds like a great idea!!!!

    I wouldn't worry that sets of friends don't know sets of friends...I am very thankful to hostesses tha have invited me to parties and I have developed good friendships from other folks they invited who I did not know.

    I think this sounds like a wonderful party!!!!

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