Latent Catholics (or any religion)...how do you raise your children?

[stillplayswithbarbies]

>I was also raised very strict Catholic and am now trying to
>figure out what to do with the next generation. My husband
>and I are Agnostic but leaning towards Atheism. I have no
>problems having the Easter/Christmas stuff now *don't go to
>church though. I guess i'm most concerned with what we say
>when DS starts with the 'why's. I mean, when he asks why the
>easter bunny comes...what do I say???

You say the easter bunny comes because that is what easter bunnies do, they bring candy to children. Just like the tooth fairy brings money for teeth. The easter bunny has nothing to do with religion. (neither does Santa Claus for that matter)

>I also don't know what
>to say when he gets old enough to talk with friends and tells
>us we're going to hell because we're not religious. AURGH!!
>It's soo hard being a parent sometimes.

You tell him "that is what some people believe and others believe something else" and you explain that we don't ever tell anyone else that their religion is "wrong", we respect their beliefs and we hope they respect our beliefs. And that someday when he is older he will decide for himself what he believes and that you will respect his choice. And you tell him that people who try to impose their religion on others, like by telling them they are going to hell, are rude.

That's what I tell my son.

For us these talks started early, when he came home from preschool telling me that there is a man who is like us and he made us, and singing "Deep and Wide". (and this was not a religious preschool). I started right then telling him that is what some people believe and other people believe we evolved without anyone "making" us. And I had a talk with the preschool owner who had a talk with the teacher and stopped the religious education.

There is a great book for teaching children about different religions, it is called "Faith's Journey" by Christine Verney Isaac and you can look it up on Amazon to read more about it. I got it for my son when he was about 9 years old, but it would be okay for younger kids too I think. It covers Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[McQ]

We're struggling with this here too. I was raised Baptist, went to Sunday school and church every Sunday until I was in high school (then it was Episcopal school). And I hated church even as a kid. I just didn't think that you needed to dress up and sit there while someone preached to you. That just by showing up on Sundays that that made you religious if I'm making any sense. I still believe you can have faith but don't need to go to church and I do believe in a higher power of some sort but I just don't know what that is. And I don't give a rip what your God you worship as long as it gives you faith and the message of goodness to others.

What really rubs me the wrong way (and I don't mean to offend if this is your bag, it's just not mine) is the Catholic church for the very reasons you mentioned (birth control, abortion, female priests, and covering up the child abuse is another). I've been to Catholic services (mostly weddings and funerals) over the years and I've left some with my blood boiling.

That said I married a Catholic who has pretty much the same beliefs I do but wants to raise Declan Catholic and send him to Catholic school (because it's much cheaper than Episcopal mind you). I just can't stomach that.

I do want to give my son the foundation of christanity. I do believe it's important to learn. Then he can decide how he wants to practice. I just need to find a way to give him that foundation without his mom being a hypocrite.

Oh there was this one time I went to two funerals in one week with totally different emotions. The first was Catholic and I was angry when I left. The sermon totally offended me and I felt awful for having such negative feelings when I should have just been sad over the loss of life. A few days later I went to a Unitarian service (for a different person) and I left there with such a feeling of peace. I loved the message that exuded from this service. I even told DH I wanted to go to some regular services to check them out but he feels the Unitarians are too liberal and we need to offer Declan more structure. So I don't know what we're going to do. DH is already chapping me that Declan hasn't been baptized.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[Melanie]

You could look into seasonal celebrations...

[kransden]

Dh was raised Catholic and I was raised Methodist. He likes all pomp and ceremony, and I could not raise my dd in a religion, at least in my eyes, that said girls weren't as good as boys. So we converted to the Episcopal Church. All the ceremony and none of the guilt. If you want to find a liberal Episcopal church, look for one that that has an Oasis ministry. That is for gay people. That is how we found our church. I figured if they were willing to accept gay people as children of god then the rest of their teachings would be ok. Of course if you want a more conservative church, do just the opposite! The Espicopal Church has something for everyone LOL!

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[brigmaman]

Lol, my mother calls refers to the church crowds around the holidays as A&P Catholics- Ashes and Palms.

[brigmaman]

Confraternity of Christian Doctrine?
Not 100% sure on that.

[Kimberly H]

In our family, we call them "Chreasters" for Christmas and Easter. :)

[C99]

>opposite! The Espicopal Church has something for everyone LOL!

Including a gay (divorced) bishop! ;-)

[kijip]

I will look at the Oasis organization. But, in my experience, there is a reason the Episcopal church has been called the Republican party in prayer...

[JLiebCamm]

I'm a fairly devoted Catholic who believes in God but doesn't believe in a lot of the "rules" of the Catholic church. But I love the ritual and history of the church as well as the fact that it is part of who I am and of my family's history. I've come to my own peace with it by believing that church is a vehicle for you to celebrate life in whatever way you feel comfortable. I don't think that my opposing views about things make me a bad Catholic, although I'm sure there are people who would tell me otherwise. I get out of church what I want to get out of it and have accepted the fact that there are others there who celebrate their religion differently than me. To me, the church is all about community, fellowship, social justice, and helping those less fortunate than us. My church is terrific with its efforts to send food/clothes to the Honduras as well as to support several local organizations for the poor or homeless. I know that the Catholic church is not the only group out there that does these types of activities but for me it's the best fit of how to get involved with things. I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that I think it's great to involve your family in something that gives you a sense of purpose and that it's up to you to find whatever organization or activity that may be. It's what YOU get out of it, not what others tell you you should get out of it. Good luck and I hope that you find an answer that helps you find peace with this issue.