To register or not to register.. that is the question.

[papal]

Reading Deb's post got me thinking... what does everyone here feel about gift registrys?

I agree with Rachel that printing the names of the stores where you a registered on the invitation is a bit tacky. But then again, I am not so sure that i agree with the concept of registering for gifts either.
I guess my question is... if you are going to register...why make it so that people have to ask around _where_ you are registered... i mean...since you have made it so convenient by pre-choosing the gifts, does it not make sense to also tell people where to get these gifts?

I grew up in a culture where registrys are unheard of.. so excuse my ignorance on this issue.. don't mean to ruffle any feathers.

[nitaghei]

Me too!! I was really uncomfortable with the idea - so I never did a wedding or a baby registry.

But - I do think that including the registry list in the invitation is really, really tacky. I don't think I've received a single invitation like that. It's seems more like a solicitation for gifts instead of making things easier for your friends and family, IYKWIM?

A number of my friends registered - but I asked them about the registry when I talked with them once I got the wedding or baby shower invitation. And if you aren't close enough to talk with them - you aren't close enough to be part of the celebration, and you therefore owe them nothing. IMO, at least.

Not sure if that helps at all! :)

Nita
mom to Neel, January 2003
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

[C99]

I think registries are now a common enough and, in fact, accepted practice that it's OK to register for weddings and babies (although you can now register for just about any occasion, which I think is rather tacky). But since it is a common enough occurance, I don't think you need to advertise where you are registered, if you are registered. Among any one social circle, it's pretty easy to guess where someone is registered and with the advent of Internet registeries, it doesn't take that long to find the lists. That said, I think registeries are just a jumping off point. I don't always buy something off someone's registry list, but I usually do look at them.

[amp]

We never felt that comfortable with it either, so we never registered for our wedding our our baby.

[papal]

Nita,
We did not do a wedding or baby registry either. Yes, i ended up getting some things that I never used or I got too many of one thing... but it is the thought that counts right? I also however got a lot of unique, hand-made gifts... i really like those. Plus it is nice to have a 'surprise' element when you do get a gift.

Coming to your point... why would you invite somebody who you were not close to to your wedding? I don't think you would. So everyone who is invited is definitely going to get you a gift.... hence the doubt as to why you should not print it on the invite and get it over with! <shudder> :)

[C99]

>Coming to your point... why would you invite somebody who you
>were not close to to your wedding? I don't think you would. So

In-laws. That is why you invite people who are not close to you to your wedding. We ended up with a half dozen of my FIL's colleagues on our invitation list. It was not my choice, but I got outvoted.

>everyone who is invited is definitely going to get you a
>gift.... hence the doubt as to why you should not print it on
>the invite and get it over with! <shudder> :)

Everyone who is invited is going to get you a gift because that is what societal norms (etiquette) dictates is proper.

[mharling]

I agree with Caroline that wedding and baby registries are fine. I do think it would be tacky to register for birthday gifts though. As far as the invites, I don't have a problem with registry info being in a shower invite, but think it's inappropriate for a wedding invitation. At least in this area, it's much more common to receive registry items for wedding shower gifts than it is for actual wedding gifts.

Mary
Lane 4/6/03

[papal]

I forgot about the in-laws! LOL.
At our wedding I did not have a single in-law (too far away, too expensive to travel, during xmas time etc etc etc).. that is why i forgot that they get invited too! :)

[etwahl]

i think the difference is also a baby shower is thrown by someone else! so the person having the baby usually isn't even involved in the planning or the invitation. my friend sent out invitations for the baby shower she threw for us and put our registry on it, but we didn't have a hand in that. the couple does their own wedding and invitation, and i agree, don't ever put the registries on the invitation. very poor taste!

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003
www.evantammy.com

[khakismom]

The purpose of a wedding is to get married (not get gift, even though you will receive them), thus tradition still holds that it is unacceptable to include information about your gift registry in wedding invitations.

The express purpose of a shower, however, is to shower you with gifts (whether for a wedding or a baby). Thus, it is considered OK to include a registry list, because that's the shower's intention.