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  1. #11
    diekatze Guest

    Default RE: CIO -- How long does it take the first night???

    I tried CIO when my DS was 11 months old. He was a good sleeper from 4 months on but when he reached 10 months-just started to crawl-his sleep habit became pretty bad. He woke up 2-3 times at night and some nights he wanted stay up and play for 2 hours(like 3am...)

    He refused to take naps and it took me hours and hours of rocking to get him to sleep for 30 minutes or so...

    I finally decided to do CIO for naps and bedtime and he cried for 1 hour and 30 minutes first night. Some naps were all crying. It was getting better..Some night 5 minutes then fall asleep..He didn't wake up during the night anymore. Or he did, he cried a little and went right back to sleep. I knew I could not stand any longer and seeing my baby all tired crancky during the day was worse.

    I did it for 2 weeks and I stopped since I got such a negative support from my DH and my live-in MIL. Although my MIL was convinced towards the end that she even let him cry to sleep one night when we were out.

    He's 14 months old now and I soothe him to sleep for naps but at night I do bedtime routine then put him in his crib, he rolls around and talks to himself for 30 minutes or so then falls asleep on his own. Even for the naps, sometimes I rock him for a while then put him in his crib, he sleeps. He has pretty good sleep pattern(or getting better) and he sleeps good 10-11 hours at night without waking up.(even with my DH's snoring!)

    Only thing I have to pretend that I am there next to him... Due to renovation and flood in his room, he's with us. His crib is right next to our bed and it worked out fine.

    Time to time he fights to go to bed or wakes up...I let him cry to sleep sometimes or pick him up to soothe him. All depends on intensity of his crying.

    CIO was really hard for me too. I thought I was dying watching him through the monitor but I knew I was doing the right thing for DS. But when all pissed off DH yells at you while he watches him with me. I gave up becuase it was harder for me to argue with DH ALL THE TIME.

    Good luck and hope it works out for you and your baby.

  2. #12
    leanng Guest

    Default RE: CIO -- How long does it take the first night???

    I can't speak for any other CIO thoerists but I know Dr. Ferber states you can't/shouldn't try CIO on children any younger than 6 months old. I think it's because they still cry for needs at that age or something.

    Good Luck,
    LeAnn
    Mom to Alex 11/12/02

  3. #13
    LucyG is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default RE: CIO -- How long does it take the first night???

    Silvana

    A four month old is still a very young baby. I honestly think that's too young to do CIO. Have you tried swaddling him to help him sleep? A baby that young still cries because he needs something from you, whether it's food, a cuddle, or just some close contact. This is strictly my opinion, but I would not worry about any type of sleep training until your DS is at least six months old. At 4 months, he is still so young, and he is crying because that's the only way he can tell you he needs you or something that you can give him. It is definitely likely that he needs to eat every three hours still, even during the night. It's been a while since I've read Weissbluth, but I seem to remember his philosophy being that it's fine to feed a baby during the night until at least 9 months of age. FWIW, I nursed mine during the night until she was 18 months old.

    Good luck! I know how tiring it is, but give him a few months and things will improve. Four months is a notoriously hard time for baby sleep.


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  4. #14
    CBB is offline Gold level (500+ posts)
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    Default RE: CIO -- How long does it take the first night???

    Hi Silvana,

    I think 4mo-old may be too young for CIO. I believe it's normal to nurse every 3hr at your DS's age. Again, everybaby is different. I have couple of friends whose babies slept through the night by 3mo. Since we started CIO, we have been letting DD cry for up to 10min if she wakes up at night and I know she's not hungry. I usually judge that by the time of her last meal. If it has been more than 4-5hr since her last meal, then I usually just pick her up as soon as she starts crying and nurse her. Otherwise I let her cry for as much as 10min then pick her up to console her. But DD is on the smaller side -- 16lb at 6mo (50%), so I think she has a small stomach and may need to eat more freq than other babies her age. She usually only takes 4oz EBM plus 1oz solid during the day. I'm planning on not nursing her at all at night next. One of the nights she didn't drink anything from 8pm till 5am (since at was at work and she refused to take the bottle from DH when she woke up). So that kind of lead me to believe she doesn't really need the night time nursing. I believe most baby will take the breast to nurse if you offer to them when they are upset. It just soothes them. Many times when I nurse her at night, even if it's been 4-5hr from her last meal, she only sucks for 5min and falls asleep. I have no idea if I'm doing the right thing to help her sleep through the night. But knock on the wood, the last 2 nights, her 1st stretches were 5.5 hrs! A big improvement from every 1.5-2hrs.

    I wish you best of luck. I hope everything works out and keep us posted.



    Li
    Baby Jasmine 3/18/04
    Baby Justin 9/18/07

  5. #15
    simba Guest

    Default RE: CIO -- How long does it take the first night???

    Yes, probably you are right. He is young. I keep on going back and forth. To be honest, I was almost hoping to read a comment like yours (and other ladies who kindly took the time to answer me) becasue I cannot have him cry...at least for now.
    Although Weissbluth does say that night feeding is OK until 9 months, he does also stress to start to sleep train at 4 months (unlike Ferber). That's why I tried (unsuccesfully, I am such a loser!).
    Thank you all, you are all very sweet. Maybe I'll postpone the training of a month or two. But I'll do it!
    XXX
    Silvana

  6. #16
    marit is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: CIO -- How long does it take the first night???

    Don't do this if you're reluctant because you will break and go inside, making it more confusing... For me, CIO works only when I am at the end of my rope, when I know for sure that I can not go through another day like that, no matter what.

    I did it twice. Once when she was 5 month old - took 15 minutes, which were the worst 15 minutes of my life, but it worked like a dream (until the first vacation). Second time she was 18 months, after many nights of waking up again to nurse, I waited a long time to go through that again. It took 20-25 minutes, and it's been great ever since. My DH said, why did we wait so long? all those nights we woke up, and we ended up doing CIO anyway? Well, before that point I would have broke down and go inside, and at that day I just had it!

    Good luck!
    Marit

    Mom to DD Ballerina, 2003
    and DS Superhero, 2005
    and DD CurlyQ, 2009

    Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.
    Herein lies the peace of God.

  7. #17
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    mudder17 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default RE: CIO -- How long does it take the first night???

    I think that 4 months is a little young, but I think a lot of research will say it is the minimum age you can start CIO. But some babies aren't ready for it at that age. We started DD at 18-19 weeks, so she was about 4.5 months old. But no matter what, you shouldn't sleep train until you and DH are ready for it. If it's not until 6 months, then wait until then. And no, you're not a loser if you tried it unsuccessfully. You just realized that you and DS are not ready for it yet. And that's a good thing.

    And by the way, some of my friends started sleep training (sort of) by around 2 months, but they weren't CIO'ing. They were just starting to get the baby used to a routine before every sleep time and watching for sleep signs, and not letting them get overtired, etc. That is all part of sleep training and can certainly start now.

    Eileen

    Mother of Beautiful Kaya
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  8. #18
    Java is offline Gold level (500+ posts)
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    Default RE: CIO -- How long does it take the first night???

    I didn't really do the crying part of sleep training until DS hit the year mark. Before, it would be random nights of CIO for varied amounts of time but I would always be in the room with him. At 4 months he definitely still communicated via crying so I did what I could to soothe him. Around 6 months I started letting him cry for a bit.

    We started with the bedtime routine early on - bath, massage, book, nurse and bed - around 2 months. Now DS is totally wired into the whole routine and knows what to expect.

    I didn't feel that he understood or "get" the whole lesson of CIO until he was older. I think that attributed to our recent success. That and the fact that I was at the end of my ropes and was able to consistently stick to my plan.

  9. #19
    AvasMama Guest

    Default CIO Alternative?

    Ok, well, I couldn't do it. After Ava cried 1.5 hours the first night (Mon) and for her entire morning and afternoon nap on Tues (upsetting b/c she had been going down for naps with no problem), I decided it just wasn't the right thing for her.

    So here's what I did instead and (fingers crossed) it seems to be working. Last night I nursed her, read her a story and put her in her crib. Of course, she screamed, but I pulled the rocking chair up next to her crib and rubbed her back until she stopped crying and fell asleep. It took a LONG time, about an hour and a half. She still woke up twice to nurse, but went back to sleep each time with no fuss.

    Morning nap today, same routine. She cried for 30 min. but this time I just sat next to her and patted/rubbed her back only occasionally to calm her. She slept about an hour.

    Afternoon nap, same routine, but only about 5 min of fussing and she fell asleep with no back-rubbing. Progress! She seemed to "get it" right away.

    So... my plan is to be strict with the routine and hope each night gets better until she only needs me to sit with her a few minutes before she can sleep on her own. Then we'll tackle the night nursing :)

    Robyn & Ava

  10. #20
    deenass is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: CIO Alternative?

    Robyn,

    You found what's right FOR YOU and that's the best thing. It's great that its working. And just know that what works this week/month may not work next week/month or it might work tonight and not tomorrow but work the day after that. The best thing is routine so Ava (and you) know what to expect.

    Congrats on using your mommy instinct and getting your angel to sleep!!!

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