Considering TTC #2, what if not on same timeline?

[ohiomom]

Anyone else NOT on the same timeline as your spouse re: when to start TTC#2? Who "won" and what swung the vote?

[mharling]

I'm not going to be much help, but....
We had originally thought we'd TTC in May of this year. I was still OK with that, but dh wanted to wait. At the end of May, within 2 days of each other, we weaned and I finished my last cycle of the mini-pill. #2 was conceived about 3 days after that (I told dh that I figured my body was so out of whack and confused that I couldn't imagine anything happening, so we didn't use b/c). I guess that's what swung our vote!

Have you and dh talked about why each other's timing is important to each of you?

Mary
Lane - April 2003
Little sister on the way!!! March 2!

[mamagoosie]

The person that was not ready(me) swung the vote.

We both want to be as excited for #2 as we were for #1. He's ready, I'm not--and knowing how much work it is--we both need to be completely on board. That's not to say that I won't compromise and "be ready" sooner than I orignally planned. But when I said that I was just not ready, he respected that. And frankly, the fact that he didn't insist or act resentful made me more willing to compromise--KWIM?

[Raidra]

Well, I've been bringing it up occasionally for the last 4 months or so. My husband has always said he wanted to wait until early spring to start TTC, mainly because of money. Last month, though, I mentioned that if we got pregnant in November, we'd have an August baby. Both of our birthdays are in August, as are my mom's, my sister's, and his dad's (actually, my husband and his father are born on the same day). I think he liked the idea of an August baby, because this is our first month TTC. :) We're going to skip January and March because we don't want an October or December baby, but other than that... :D

[ohiomom]

Thanks to everyone for their replies. I'm the one wanting to wait 6 months or so. The WEIRD thing is I never expected him to come around and agree to TTC#1, so just not prepared for this.

His reasons are it took us awhile the 1st time as I was really lacking any consistent timing on my part. Also, he hopes if they are close in age they'll play together well. My reasons are mostly work related, but also personal. I'm still nursing before bed and when DD wakes up. I hate to stop it, but suspect I won't ovulate unless I do. DD only got 1 flu shot and that's it... I was hoping as long as supplies hung on, to nurse through the flu season. Also, I can just within the last 2 months sleep on my stomach, have a cup of caffeine a day, drink a glass of wine or beer w/out feeling guilty, fit in my clothes, feel like my brain is working again and feeling productive at work and basically feeling like I have a handle on things again (well, most days). I went 11 months w/out more than 5 hrs straight sleep and it really aged me and took a toll on my ability to concentrate at work. I worry about having the energy to keep up w/a toddler when pregnant. DD is just trying to take her 1st steps now. I used to come home after work and sleep when I was pregnant w/DD. That's not going to be an option this time around. But he's right. I'm certainly not getting any younger. I realize in lots of ways it's all very selfish reasons. If I could have a crystal ball and see that I had another DD w/the personality of Nicole, I think I could deal. She's all-in-all a pretty manageable child (so far). W/DH's personality I fear I'll have a demon child the 2nd time around!! I have some big responsbilities at work until April... what if things don't go quite right and I end up on bed rest, can't travel, etc. Those are the purely logical reasons...

I get the feeling I"m going to dwell on this a while...

[Melanie]

Yes...I think Dh would have preferred our children closer together. LOL, I guess I "Won" b/c it's my body and I'm the SAHM. He certainly can't get me pregnant without me knowing. ;-)

[MelissaTC]

DH was talking about #2 when DS was around 4 months old or so. I said NO WAY! I wanted to nurse DS for as long as he wanted (which wound up being 13 months) and I did not want to have 2 under 2.

We are ttc#2 now so DS will be at least 3 by the time a baby would be born. I am relieved because DS being two has been VERY challenging!!! 3 years is a good age difference. My sister and I are 3 years apart, still played together and are the best of friends now. DH and SIL are 2 years apart and barely speak together. It is not due to any animosity or anything like that. They just aren't close. So I guess it can go either way!

[HHCs Mom]

We had this conversation just this weekend. DS is 7 months and DH wants to start trying this coming summer so #2 will be born at the same time of year. I'd like to wear my maternity clothes again and be pg in the winter, deliver in the spring, etc, so I would like for #2 to be born in April, just not so soon! I plan to try to nurse DS until 12 months, which would be April, and then DH wants to try to get pg again in July like last time... I said "NO WAY" to that!! I want to have my body back to myself for awhile before giving it up again to being pregnant and/or nursing. So, I "won" that battle since it's my body.


Kim
~Harrison~ 04.06.04

[candybomiller]

You could say that.

The person who got the vasectomy (NOT ME!!!) swung the vote. Quite unfairly, might I add.

[ohiomom]

Wow! What a bummer. I guess that's my sign to stop being so irritated by this!

Nicole's Mom 7/03