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  1. #1
    DebbieJ is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default If you are invited to a bridal shower, but don't go, do you still send a gift?

    Was invited to a shower but couldn't attend, now wondering if I should send a gift.

  2. #2
    barbarhow Guest

    Default RE: If you are invited to a bridal shower, but don't go, do you still send a gift?

    I always do. And I received a bunch of gifts from people who could not attend mine.
    Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
    expecting #2, a Yankee fan, around 5/9/05!

  3. #3
    jbowman is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Default RE: If you are invited to a bridal shower, but don't go, do you still send a gift?

    Deb,

    I decided to consult my trusty Amy Vanderbilt! She writes, "As only the closest friends of the bride are asked, it is usual--but not obligatory--for invited guests to send a little gift when they cannot attend."

    She goes on, "Of course, if the hostess has erred in asking a mere acquaintance of the bride to attend a shower for her, then the recipient of the invitation is under no obligation either to attend or to send a gift. She must, though, in all courtesy, reply to the invitation."

    Hope this helps! FWIW, I answered "yes" to your poll!

  4. #4
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    Default RE: If you are invited to a bridal shower, but don't go, do you still send a gift?

    I answered "no" but think it would really depend on who the bride is. If it is someone fairly close to me, I would definitely send a nice gift. If the bride is not somewhat close to me I would send a card with best wishes.

    -- "The best way out is always through" -- Robert Frost

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Default RE: If you are invited to a bridal shower, but don't go, do you still send a gift?

    I chose depends upon the bride, as I would DEFINITELY send a gift for a friend's shower. But all the invites I get for people such as children of my mother's friends, nope. I ALWAYS send a gift for a wedding, going or not, but the shower gift is only required if I go. I do think this particular etiquette issue is a regional thing, though.

  6. #6
    jubilee Guest

    Default RE: If you are invited to a bridal shower, but don't go, do you still send a gift?

    If I wasn't able to attend the bridal shower, I'd just buy a more expensive gift for the wedding. (I answered "no" in the poll)

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Default RE: If you are invited to a bridal shower, but don't go, do you still send a gift?

    I say that it depends. The point of most of these showers is so that they'll get gifts - so I find that anybody gets invited. It depends on who the bride/grrom is if I'll give her a gift. Sometimes, I bump up the wedding gift if I didn't give a shower gift either.

    -Sonia

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