What I saw in the park yesterday

[kfk]

Hi! Am relatively new and usually post in the Feeding board. Anyway, we were on our daily trip to the park, and I was pushing the boys on the bucket swings when I wound up chatting just a bit with a lady who was caring for 2 boys, who was sitting near the swings. The boys were an under 1 year old (I guess) and his older brother. She was feeding the baby in the stroller (mashed food out of a tupperware) and at a certain point, I saw her take the baby by the corners of the mouth and forcibly spoon the food in. The baby did not protest, and she continued to do this until the food was finished. Later, she brought the baby out of the stroller and he sat on his blanket, playing with toys. He was a big, placid baby (he looked like a baby from a painting by Breughel), and never made a noise. She actually seemed nice enough, admiring my boys, etc. I didn't say anything, or do anything, but it really disturbed me. Granted, I have "issues" about food (recovered eating disorder), but still . . .

[Melanie]

How sad. =( I can only imagine what force-feeding a child will do to them later.

[bcky2]

that is sad :( i have alot of friends that are members of the clean your plate club and i am a former member from childhood, i will never make my ds's clean their plates, i have issues now because of it and i dont want to do that to my boys. i believe that kids will eat when hungry and stop when they are not. my younger ds isnt gaining much weight and we have had issues with that and i still refuse to make him eat when not hungry or to give him high calorie foods to make up for the lack of food. he loves fruits and veggies and i dont want to spoil that :) when we were little we didnt get to leave the table untill our plates were clean and i remember sitting ther for hours because i didnt want to eat.

[ddmarsh]

That sounds like something that maybe someone who did not grow up with food issues might not notice (which I did as well), if you KWIM. That would have made me upset as well.

ITA that I have never, nor would, make my children eat. Even now I have to get on my mom b/c she will start some of the same things with my kids that she did with us and there is absolutely no way I'm exposing them to that.

[kensjen]

It also reminds me of my mom's generation, who didn't necessarily follow the child's lead on feeding. A lot of people feel that a baby should eat cetain size portions, and will try to force it on them. Drives me crazy.

I don't have any food issues, but I would have seen it. Nothing you can really do about it, but it would bother me a bit.

[JulieL]

Just another point of view:

When DS first started eatting solids I did this once or twice with his veggies he didn't want to eat, thinking I was a "bad" mommy for not getting him to eat a balanced meal. I realized that it was silly and then ditched whatever he refused to eat, but that could be where this mom is coming from. I too had issues growing up centered on food. My step-mom forced me to eat before causing me to throw up almost on her. This is why ditched the idea of making my son eat his peas. But I wonder if someone w/out food issues in the past would think much on this as well.

[C99]

I don't have any food issues (thank you Mom!), but that would have bothered me as well.

[mudder17]

That would definitely bother me! I don't have food issues and part of it is that our parents never FORCED us to eat anything. In our culture, she would make some rice, with some vegetables, some meat, and maybe soup or another dish. Her rule was that you had to take one bite of everything, even if you knew you had tried it before and didn't like it. It didn't even have to be a large bite, but you had to taste the food. After that, you could eat as much or as little of anything you wanted that was offered. I did tend to eat everything, but I think this may have been why. And it's true that as I grew up, I would find that those things that I swore I didn't like, I would start to like. :)

I'm hoping to do the same with DD. Fortunately, she's still a pretty good eater, although she still prefers veggies and meat and breads and dairy to fruit. Odd girl doesn't like fruit that much! But I keep offering it and I'm sure at some point she'll take it. :D

Eileen

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ies/candle.gif

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbo...n_gold_12m.gif , 15 months & counting
Kaya's cousin, due October 9th!!!

[barbarhow]

My Mom was visiting when I first started solids with Jack. He kept putting his little hands up and getting them in the way. He also spit out more than he swallowed. As far as I was concerned he was just learning. He was only 6 months and BF'd and I was in no hurry to get him on solids. My Mom said "Hold his hands down and get that food in his mouth." Gee. I wonder why my sister and I both had food related issues.....Scary.
ETA-you'd think that 40 years later education and research would make this practice a thing of the past.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[candybomiller]

My mom never forced me to eat anything, but I still grew up with food issues (comes from being a fatty!). I've had problems with both anorexia and bulemia and I'm trying d@mn hard to make sure that Matt doesn't go through the crap I went through. I'm hoping that since he's a boy it won't be as hard on him. We'll see I guess.