WWYD: Baby #2 and then move, or move and then Baby #2?

[hudsonam]

We currently have a 25 month old child and live in a small two bedroom townhome. It's a very nice development and we have great neighbors. We'd just like to have a basement, which we don't have, and we need more room desperately. Well, maybe not desperately, but you get the picture.

We want to have one more child, and we would rather they weren't much more then 3 years apart. However, it seems foolish to have a second one while we're still in a two bedroom, even though I know there are plenty of kids who share rooms, including my nephews who are <1 and 5, so I can always go to my SIL for logistical questions as far as having a baby who wakes up at night in with an older child.

I am anxious to move into a bigger place, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if that waited another couple years. If we moved before having baby #2, it would be the end of this year or the beginning of '08. We'll be in our home for 2 years this June, so we don’t want to move before that for capital gains tax reasons. I'm sure if we had baby #2 first, we'd be moving very shortly thereafter because we'll be busting at the seams. DH didn't really want to wait to have another baby because he doesn't want them too far apart. Would it be silly to have a second child in a smaller then ideal home and then move? I originally said we should move first so we can see what our finances are like and how feasible it is to pay for two in daycare after we buy a bigger house, but I'm sure we'd figure it out. I won't be splurging on HA or Mini Boden anymore, but we would manage, I'm sure. ;) I'm just wondering if anyone has any BTDT advice for me. TIA!

[billysmommy]

We were kind of in the same situation last year. We had a small 2 bedroom house (about 1000 sq ft) and we always knew we weren't going to be staying there much longer (we had been there for 5 years). We had been looking for houses and then found one we loved in December ( I was ~5 months pregnant) We ended up moving into our new house the first weekend in March. I was about 7.5 months pregnant and Billy was almost 3 years old (birthday in May).
It honestly went much smoother than we had anticipated. And after having a second baby I am SO SO glad that we moved before he came along. It was hard packing up the old house and moving while pregnant but I would much rather be doing it that way then with a newborn!! I basically directed everyone about which room things went in and then I made cookies for everyone and set up the kitchen.
We also used the move to transition Billy to his "big boy" bed. He really wanted a big bed and so when we closed on the house we went shopping for his new bed and brought it to the new house and set it up in his new room. We didn't move in for about another week but it was great having his bed there for him to get used to while we were at the house cleaning. The hardest part was he didn't want to go back to sleeping in his crib for the last 3 nights before we moved.
Sorry this got so long :)

[kijip]

I don't think that it would be impossible to have another child, if that is what you both want and then move later. Not only do lots of kids share rooms but a lot of infants sleep in their parent's rooms for awhile anyways. In the long run your life is going to be more affected by the age difference between your kids than the size house you lived in when they were tiny.

[hudsonam]

That's such a good point. Thank you.

And DS #1 did sleep in our room for the first couple months, and we moved 1200 miles when he was only 2 months old.... I suppose that's part of why I want to move first this time. I feel like we've been doing things out of order for years, and it would be nice to do it differently this time. But I know in the end that doesn't really matter.

[maestramommy]

I agree with Katie, but only because we live in a 2bdrm apt and won't be moving any time soon. Our apt is sizable, it just lacks another bedroom. So dd2 will be sleeping with us for much longer than Dora did. At least until she is down to one feeding a night. We have no idea how that will work out since Dh was always nervous about having Dora in the same room when we were, you know :-). But that is our plan for now.

[LarsMal]

DH got a job offer back in May. I had joked that if I was pregnant we could move- Of course I didn't really think I was pregnant, but found out that next weekend that, in fact, I was. As soon as I knew I was pg, our townhouse seemed to shrink by the minute! I agreed to move (of course, this was also out of state, so a big decision) and we found a nice, big house.

I was 14 weeks pregnant when we moved. We definitely could've survived in our townhome for a little longer, but I figured it would be easier to move BEFORE DD came than to move after.

I am so glad we made the move before DD was born. I was able to get settled in while only dealing with one child. I don't know where you live, but with the real estate market the way it is right now, it might be worth it to get the ball rolling. It could take a while depending on where you live!

Good luck!

[Dcclerk]

We have a 2 bedroom house and will have 3 kids in May. (We do have a large playroom, though.) I honestly think of it as cozy. I like having a smaller house and knowing where everyone is all the time. It's a little chaotic, but pretty fun that way. At some point we will tear down this house and build a new one that will be larger, but I'm honestly in no particular hurry. The kids love sharing a room and both can sleep through the other SCREAMING with no problem. It honestly is VERY rare that one wakes the other up (though I do have them nap in separate rooms). We also moved into this house a month after I had #2, and it was a little rough, but not all that bad. Overall, I think planning your long-term life is much more important than sweating about the short term stuff. If you want to have 2 kids three years apart, then go for it :) !