RE: I just feel so distressed....daycare issues...long.
Hugs! I SO know what you mean - I got my younger son into the best daycare in town and the rules and procedures drove me bonkers. He was only there four weeks before I pulled him out. Quitting work is not an option for me (that's not a bad thing, I love my job) so we've always had to be creative in getting the childcare we need.
Are you friends with any working moms with similar aged children? We've shared a nanny with another family for almost two years now and it's one of the best parenting decisions we've made. We couldn't afford a nanny on our own but splitting the costs makes it about the same as many daycares, and gives the kids a playmate. We weren't bestest friends ever with the other family but knew each other well enough to communicate and had mostly similar parenting styles. If there's any way you can make that work for you, it can be an awesome option.
Katie, Mom to two boys
Retraining my dopamine circuits thanks to David Kessler, MD.
Jonathan: Halloween 2004
Alex: A smidge past Groundhog Day 2007