Throughout my adult life, I have had several friendships in which I was the person who made sure we kept in touch. Happily not all my friendships have been this way. At times I had wondered if these particular people were trying to give me a message, or it was something personal, but I do feel sure in retrospect that these were just the kind of people that are over-extended and interact with most people that way. Also, before I had dd I was single and childless for a long time. I was okay (mostly) with the idea that people who were married/had a partner/had children had more on their plates than I did so it kind of made sense to me. However, now that I am a single mom that hardly holds true. I know I am as busy as most people. I made myself a promise to stop continuing to initiate contact with people with this pattern. The pattern made me both feel bad about myself and judge them. I now do a better job and making sure I don't do a whole lot more initiating/maintaining contact than friends.

Here is my question. I recently changed jobs, and had a friend from my old job who was pretty "bad" (for lack of a better word) at returning calls. She fits the pattern of being overextended and interacting with most people this way. However, things mostly were okay as we could make plans during work. Our dds adore each other. Dd asks for her dd frequently. I finally got a return phone message from her from a message I had left a month ago. Guess what, she wants to get together and her dd is asking for my dd. This "friend" is married, but she only works part time, while I work full time.

I have tried talking to people I have had this issue with in the past and it really hasnt worked. Either they would say, sorry that's just how they are or they would try to be different and have it not work out.

So, I am not sure what to do. I really don't want to model for dd that she has to just wait for people to decide to call us back. I think what I model for dd/teach her about friendships is my biggest concern.

Thanks,
Robyn