Please help...I am soooooo in need of coping techniques right now

[SASM]

Larissa,

Thank you so much! I sooo hope that this still applies...Congratulations!

You know, when I started reading your second paragraph, I immediately started thinking about writing things down and then burning the paper and then I just had to smile when I saw that was what you were suggesting! :) I always used to suggest it to my girlfriends when they were going through rough times. I completely forgot about this and I cannot thank you enough for reminding me. It goes right along with Karen's suggestion in regards to remembering my lost photos. THANK YOU!! Thank you also for the serenity prayer. It is so beautiful and simple.

I love your suggestion about going for a short walk while DH is still at home. This did not even occur to me as I was just so accustomed to getting up at 4am to do my marathon training months ago ~ this would terrify me the entire time I was out alone. I could easily get out for 30 minutes or so and just walk around the block a few times. Exercise and cleasing the mind ~ sounds good to me.

As for Grandma, when I think about the situation in a clearer state of mind, I am at peace b/c I know that she'll happily be in heaven with her beloved parents and brother. She will always be with me and will see my children whenever she wants instead of waiting oh so long for me to nmake the trip down there. It just saddens me at the thought that I might not get to hug her again or that she might not get to hug or smell my kids again ~ I know that sounds strange but she is blind. It saddens me that my Grandpa will not have her ~ he's literally been by her side for every moment of the last 10+ years, since the onset of her blindness. I hope that he can find his way without her.

Sorry...more venting. It feels good, though. Thank you.

[SASM]

Mommy111,

Thank you so much! That evening sounds like a dream. Part of my frustration yesterday was the fact that I lost my MDO. Granted I do not have a Girls' Day, I just go to my OB appt and then get things done in peace without the kids and give DH a chance at the chaos. It is a laid back few hours that I've really grown to look forward to every month. I WILL have to try to get out one night. In the meantime, I will try to do something comparable at home. Thank you. :)

Thank you also for the suggestion in regards to the techs. I am quite sure that DH asked them but it was REALLY difficult to understand them. They were working on the computer, with DH present, for 3 hours past the close of their shop. They just said that we need the same hardware as we had before, and it looks as though they downloaded all of the discs, etc. I am just surprised that one or two days of photos that I KNOW I didn't do anything particularly special with (the zoo) is perfect as opposed to the rest of the photos, some of which I really played with. UGH!

[SASM]

Lisa,

THANK YOU so much and a huge congrats to you again. I hope that you are handling your shock a little easier than the last time I was able to read your posts. :)

I love the idea of visualizing God's hands. This bit of advice is EXACTLY what I would expect Jera to say and it put a HUGE smile on my face to read it. It sounds very comforting...THANK YOU!!

As for the photos, I did this just before I posted my original post. I received a call, shortly after I woke up this AM, from my best friend who is an email pack rat. She forwarded me a TON of my emails with attached photos and then she was going to look through her photos as well for anything. This was a very nice way to start my day! My SIL also sent some family event photos as well. I am hoping that there are more emjails waiting for me! :) THANK YOU!!!

And...the chocolate. I am dreading this. I gave up chocolate for Lent and it was soooooo difficult trying to substitute something else for my simple chocolate craving. I would eat a TON of junk in hopes that it would satisfy but it never would do the same as a tiny bite of chocolate. Hopefully, I will not have a problem with my glucose screening but, if I should, I already have all of the potential affects of GD on the baby taped to my refrigerator to stave off the cravings and guide me towards a healthy alternative. I am the QUEEN on healthy substitutes (ie Chocolate Chip (carob) and Bean cookies) but I haven't been able to find that alterego during this pregnancy. :(

[bensmom]

Everyone's given you great advice. I just wanted to comment that you probably don't have to give up chocolate. I had GDM with DS1, although it was diet controlled. FIL and DH are both endos and told me that it was fine to eat almost everything in moderation. The only thing I had to cut out completely was juice (and pure sugar candy). I had a big bowl of ice cream every night (that was my craving). I had to limit portions and be careful about the number of carbs (and amount of protein) I ate, but I definitely was supposed to eat carbs.

[gatorsmom]

I"m so glad I could help a bit. I wanted to add that when I found out I was pregnant with DS2, we had just found out about my mom's terminal condition. And I thought that there couldn't be a worse time in the world to be pregnant. But it turned out to be perfect timing. Because that baby gave my mom and I something to be hopeful for. We talked about my dreams for him and my plans - all while she was sick. When I visited her in the hospital, when she was dying, she was so proud of the pregnancy and we would all be laughing- the nurses, me, her and anyone else who came to see her- talking about old wives tales, how big I was, and just anything pregnancy related. My mom sounds like she was a lot like your grandma- she didn't want people around her fussing and crying and making her uncomfortable. In fact, she didn't tell a lot of people about her condition because she didn't want to deal with other people's grief. My pregnancy was just a perfect distraction for us at that time.

My mom died 3 months before I gave birth. And I was so busy preparing for the delivery that I really felt like I didn't grieve for those months. And I don't tell too many other people this because I would never want it to get back to DS1 but I have often felt that in a way, I have a special place in my heart for DS2. He really saved me. Because although it wasn't a perfect fit, he filled a huge gaping hole that my mom left. He really softened that terrible blow. I'm not sure how well I would have done if he hadn't been there. He came at just the right time. And now, looking back, i thank God every day for the timing of that pregnancy. It just could not have been more perfect.

Best of luck to you. You and your grandmother and baby are in my prayers.

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[SASM]

Bensmom,

Thank you so much!! That was so reassuring to read! :) Chocolate and ice cream are HUGE cravings and, unfortunately, stress relievers, in moderation. :) We'll see in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I will not have to worry about GDM but... :)

THANK YOU!!

[SASM]

Lisa,

I am so sorry to read about your mom. Not that I can relate in ANY way, but my mom was diagnosed with breast CA not long after my engagement ~ I asked my mom to be my matron of honor. Planning for the wedding was our way of getting through the fear and focusing on something positive.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Your "secret" is safe with me...errr...US! :) I am so glad that you had your beautiful baby boy, and Little Gator, to help you get through your grief. Babies truly are miracles in every sense. :)

HUGS! And...THANK YOU!!!!