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  1. #21
    akc Guest

    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    Hi -

    I have two new suggestions which I picked up from my friends with older kids. Maeve rarely needs this because she is very verbal and can communicate her frustrations pretty clearly, so we first try to ask her to "use her words" when she gets near to screaming or tantruming. Maeve also loves to sleep in her crib, so I am not going to risk negative association and her room is full of toys.

    SO, we use:
    1) the pack n' play. We set it back up in the corner of the Family Room. She goes in there - with nothing in it - and then I walk out of the room and sit in the next room or go about my biz and ignore her until she calms down.

    2) Her old high chair in the corner of the DR. Same routine but snap her in and she can't get down. She really does not like that.

    According to all the experts I've read, including Dr. Phil, withdrawal of your attention or affection is the big punishment for them, so anything that supports that until the calm down is a good step. Then you can talk about the issue.

    In terms of our routine with it, we put her in by saying, "I think you need "a minute" to calm down and be a good girl INSTEAD of using the phrase "time out." Our friend that did that had better luck b/c time out is so over used AND the "minute" lasts into an older age - actually, I could sometimes use a "minute" to calm down!

    To get out of either the PnP or the chair, she has to:
    1) ask nicely to come out, "Mommy, ready come out please."
    2) We then ask her if she's going to be a "good girl." Must say, "Yes, Mommy." or "Yes, Daddy."
    3) Then, we usually have her apologize for her action. If it's a person, that's easy. If it's a thing, we sometimes even have her go back to the scene of the crime and say, "Sorry Maeve threw yogurt." etc.

    This sounds like we're psycho militant parents but we're not. She is just very communicative and clever, so she tends to get it once she goes through this for one action or another. Other key is consistency. My husband, our sitter and I all do this routine EXACTLY the same, so she gets it.

    We've had terrific luck with this so far, so maybe it will work with someone else!

    Alexa

  2. #22
    JElaineB is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    I use the Pack N Play too. I don't want him to develop any negative associations with his crib, and it is really the only place I can confine him for a minute or two unless I wanted to physically (with my hands) restrain him, which I don't want to do at the moment. If I did try to hold him for a time out, he would just try to squirm away and get more worked up.

    Jennifer
    mom to Jacob 9/27/02

  3. #23
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    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    Kathleen's TOs have always been in the chair in the corner of the dining room. She hasn't had many, but in the beginning of us giving them, she loved them and would actually ask for them. Umm, OK. :)

    Once she got over the novelty, and would actually cry and scream about going, they worked pretty well. Like Alexa, she has to ask permission to get off the chair and must apologize for whatever she's done. What works better now is counting to 5. She knows that at the end of 5 she will lose a toy for 24 hours. So usually we only have to get to 3 before she stops and behaves.

  4. #24
    Karenn is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    So when this thread first started, I didn't have a time out spot- now I do. :) Thanks for all the suggestions. We've been using a Colin sized chair. I have to sit with him so he won't run off but since optimal "time out" time seems to be about a minute that hasn't been a problem. It's worked beautifully so far. (I hope that keeps up!)

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