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  1. #1
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    Default OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    I have 2 dd's now and am thinking about how many more or if we will have any more children. Can anyone share how they decided? It is such a tough choice. Somedays I think 2 is enough and then other days I want 2 more! Anyone else thinking about this lately? Thanks!

  2. #2
    redhookmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    I have 2 children and have given this much thought as well. For our family it came down to recources. We decided that our recources would be spread to thin if we had more children. I FINALLY decided that I would rather give more to the children I have then have more children. I don't mean just finicially I also have more time, sleep, patience.

    Molly
    pack of kids ranging from age 1 to age 13

  3. #3
    luvbeinmama Guest

    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    LOL!! After the countless nights of being up for 2-3 hours with DD, DH said basically, that's it, I've had enough. We didn't have this problem with DS, but having to carry DD around to get her to go back to sleep just about killed us. We were walking zombies for over a year. Ugh! Now if all the rest of our kids turned out to be like DS on the sleeping issue, it would be no problem, but I don't think we are up for another one like DD and DH isn't willing to risk that. (He only wanted 2 in the beginning anyway, so he's really getting his way now.) Besides, all our bedrooms are full now, and I think I'm ready to be out of infant phase now, too. I can't wait until DD is potty trained and I can go out without diapers!

  4. #4
    jubilee Guest

    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    Like Jessica said, for us it is all about resources. If I won a bunch of money, I'd get pregnant or adopt in a heartbeat. That said, I really thought I was done having children after my first... but then 11 years later the baby bug bit me again. I was so exciting to start trying to get pregnant. And having a big gap between kids is actually really great. So, don't feel you have to make it your "final answer" right now- a few years could give you the clarity you need.

  5. #5
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    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    Hmm well to be totally honest fate decided our "family size" we had planned on two and then after a loss we decided on one, as you can tell neither happened LOL :o

    I will say i am done, money is certainly a reason as well as house space, car space and my sanity level...caring for three children, well i basically to it alone i could not add anymore, plus IMO i am too old to play the L&D game again, i have very big babies for my size which never seem to want to come out and my L&D are very drawn out difficult ones, i wouldn't risk the chance of me not making it through and leaving 3 or 4 children without their mother.

    Best advice? do what you think feels right on the whole, we all have days we feel one way or the other but it's the "gut feeling" as i like to call it that is your best way to decide.

    good luck! :)




    ~Pamela Mom to the Trio Of Trouble http://smilies.jeeptalk.org/otn/angels/newangel.gif



    http://lilypie.com/baby4/010103/0/5/3/-6/.png

  6. #6
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    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    Thanks for the replies! That is part of my problem, my "gut" feeling is empty. If anyone comes across a book on the subject I would be very interested! I guess the best thing to do is as suggested, just wait a couple of years or so and see how we feel then...

  7. #7
    jlcana Guest

    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    I didn't really have a "gut" feeling either. I knew I wanted more than 1 child as I am an only child and I have mixed feelings about it. I knew I wanted 2, but I have a 2.5 year old now and am having another DS in about 2 weeks. So now I really want 3 BUT...

    1) Will have 2 boys already, not sure I want 3 as DH has nothing but boys in his family for 2 generations-I feel there is no hope for a girl!
    2) I will turn 36 right after I have DS #2 and I am tired now, I can't imagine doing this again when I'm around 38.
    3) Like some other posters stated, I think our resources(parental and financial) will be stretched pretty thin with 2. I don't want to short change anyone if I have 3, I feel I can be a better parent with 2 at this point.

    BTW, when I got married almost 7 years ago, I wasn't sure I wanted any children, now I want three. Time does wonders for your frame of mind!

    Lisa
    Christopher 3/18/02
    Another boy EDD 9/20/04


  8. #8
    Melanie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    I am so enjoying life w/ ds right now, as well as feel like i just can't take on any more things (baby, cat, crafts - anything!!) that consume time, for fear of "ruining" the enjoyment that we currently have as a family. (yes, I realize that large families have a lot of enjoyment, logically, but emotionally it is hard to comprehend) However, I am an only child and I promised myself that ot was something I would never do to ny own child if it could be helped at all. Personally, I would have no problem waiting 5, 6, 7 or more years, but Dh haqs a large age gap between his sibling and he does not want that for Ds.

    I am nervous to have them close in age b/c, as an only, I have NO idea how to balance everything. I find it difficult enough with just one child!

    It's funny b/c I used to think I would want many children (biologically one or two then adopt more). Now I am not so sure...though I still think I want to adopt...maybe when Ds1 and D?2 are older.

  9. #9
    mamahill Guest

    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    Our decision was made before we even got married. Our plan was to get married, and 2 years later get pregnant, and then have 3 kids, each 3 years apart. Why three? Because we both come from families with 6 kids and we don't want to have that many. Four would be my absolute limit, so that's why we said 3 for now. Four is our "safety net." :) Financially and emotionally, I think 3 is all we'll be able to handle. Plus, I want to be able to have the same energy for the last one as I do for the first (ok, I know that's not entirely likely, but it's a nice dream).

  10. #10
    Melanie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default RE: OT: Personal: Determining your Family Size?

    Wow SIX kids! Do you mind me asking where you each lay in the birth order?

    I would imagine the eldest of a big family would be really skilled at child-caring and the balancing act. LOL. Though I know a few who ended up deciding NOT to have children b/c of it.

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