Meal Time? Potty Training? I thought I'd try the lounge...

[Hallie_D]

Uggh, what a week! DS #1 is having a total regression. He's been potty trained (except for nights) for over a month, but in the last week he has had 2 or more accidents every day. What's worse, he is pooping in his pants and not telling us (or his teacher when he is at daycare), waiting for someone to notice the smell. His teacher was not as thorough as she should have been in cleaning him up after his accidents at school this week (one for each day) and now he has a painful rash all over his diaper area...so painful that when we tried to put him in the bath last night, he screamed bloody murder until we took him out.

And on top of this, he is refusing to eat anything but yogurt, milk, Japanese rice crackers, the occasional piece of apple, fruit snacks and rice (well, sometimes he'll eat rice). Tonight he refused to eat anything at all, after pooping in his pants while playing with his father. His poop is very pale, I'm assuming from all the dairy. (sorry if TMI.)

Obviously, there is a fairly new baby in the house, and I know some (all?) of this behavior is related to his adjusting to the changes in our family, me nursing, etc. But...HELP!!! Any insight appreciated. We have tried very hard to remain even-tempered, don't try to force him to eat, have clear consequences for bad behavior...but nothing is working!!!!!!

Anyone have any advice?

TIA,

[brubeck]

If you think it might be related to the new baby, what you need to do is emphasize how being a big boy is so much better than being a baby. Point out what the baby CAN'T eat, what the baby CAN'T do and what the baby CAN'T play with. This helped a lot with my DD when DS was born.

For eating, I know it's hard but try to go with the flow and ocntinue to offer healthier/more well-rounded alternatives. Evenutally he should be interested in eating it.

Sorry, I don't have much advice to offer on the specifics of the potty regression. DD's potty regression was due to laziness on her part and I fixed it by 'punishing' her. I don't know if that would be appropriate here if it truly is a jealousy situation.

[Hallie_D]

Thanks for the insight. DS hasn't been potty trained for too long, so I'm sure some of it is just still remembering that he has to stop playing to go to the bathroom, but some of it is just acting out. We definitely do talk about big boy vs. baby. He is very loving toward the baby, but he takes out his frustrations on DH and me.

Things have calmed down here, thankfully, but he is still barely eating. Lunch is better than dinner--for the last week he hasn't had more than 4 bites of any dinner we've served. We keep putting healthy meals in front of him, and he keeps refusing to eat. We are sticking to the "we provide the meals, he decides what/how much to eat" philosophy but it is really hard sometimes! He was 24 lbs at his 2yo check up and I'm pretty sure he hasn't gained (and may have even lost) weight. We'll see in about 6 weeks at his 3yo check up!

[brubeck]

I know it's hard but you can't MAKE them eat. They may have a power trip and refuse to eat when you want them to but eventually they will get hungry. I know my kids are hungry when they ask for milk. If they are asking for lots of milk I check my watch and... sure enough, it's usually close to a mealtime. They do get hungry, even if they refuse what you offer. If he ate 4 bites then maybe he'll eat more the next day. I agree, it is soooo hard to see them turn up their nose at hwat you prepared, but as long as ALL he gets is healthy food then he will eventually eat something.

Hang in there! I'm glad it's getting better.