What do you do when 2-year-old runs away from you, won't listen, etc.?

[kristine_elen]

(cross post from Baby Lounge)

Jack is in this phase (at least I hope it's a phase) where he runs in the opposite direction I tell him to go, he won't stop when I tell him to, and he just falls on the ground and lays (lies?) there when I want him to walk.

We do time outs, but sometimes they don't work. (And I'm doing them exactly the way 1-2-3 Magic says you should.) I can't just pick him up and carry him because I'm pregnant and he's 43 pounds and if he's working against me, I physically can't do it. I can lift him up only if he's being agreeable.

I hate to hear myself yell at him, it makes me feel psycho and out of control. I'm starting to feel like a "before" mom on one of those Super Nanny shows.

I've read some books on discipline, but so far none that suggest exactly what to do in these situations. Any advice from parents who've tried things that actually work?

Sorry this has been long. Thanks for any help.

[brubeck]

Kristine, I hate to break it to you but running away is just standard 2 year old behaviour. My DS was born the same month as yours and he still runs away. When DS was born DD was 2. I had to take her EVERYWHERE in the stroller. At the grocery store she was in the shopping cart and DS was in the Baby Bjorn. I couldn't trust her to walk beside me.

When DS was about 5 months and DD was about 30 months she was still running away from me and my back was giving out in the Baby Bjorn. I got myself a double stroller for my birthday and didn't do the grocery shopping unless DH was home to watch the kids. This lasted for about 6 months. Around the time DD turned 3 she started becoming more obedient about that kind of thing and started sticking more closely to my side.

Here's what I did to help it along. Sometimes just the two of us would be out alone together (we had Mommy/daughter time so she wouldn't be as jealous of the new baby). During these outings I would take her to a store that was relatively empty (eg: Target at 9 am on a weekday morning). At first I let her push the cart around 'by herself'. She had a blast doing this and of course if she was pushing the cart she couldn't really get away from me. Soon she just wanted to walk but I told her that she had to be touching the cart at all times. When she disobeyed I would put her into the shopping cart seat. After having the freedom of walking she REALLY didn't like that.

After awhile I would try to take her by the hand and walk through stores. Sometimes it helped if I let her hold a shopping basket, other times she just walked with me. At first the excitement of it all got to her but eventually that wore off and she was less interested in moving away. She would get really scared if she couldn't see me, so occasionally if she didn't follow when I asked I'd duck behind the endcap and she would freak out immediately. It took awhile but eventually little tricks like this helped (and I think maturity too) and by age 3 she was walking beside me without needing her hand held. Sometimes if she was looking around too much or lagging I would have her push the baby's stroller. Again this grownup activity helped keep her focussed,

I don't know if any of this will apply to your DS, but keep in mind that with some patience (and some aging on his part) it should hopefully work out okay.

HTH!