Bible Camp Solicitation - Need Advice

[hbridge]

We live way in a very small somewhat rural community in a very small neighborhood with very little traffic, I still can't believe that we are dealing with things like this in this area of the world! So this afternoon we are in the yard with friends and the kids decide they want to head inside. For the first time ever I send DC and friends up the garden steps and into the house without adult supervision. Then one of the other adults spots someone in the driveway so off I go to investigate.

I find the kids (oldest is 7) talking to two older women with a young child. They are discussing a bible camp with THE KIDS! One of our children is even holding a BROCHURE! I am livid! I yell at the woman that they should have found an adult and not approached children, throw the brochure at them and herd the kids into the house.

As a very overprotective parent whose child has NEVER been out of my sight in the yard before I'm livid. The kids never left the property (all day), these people were trespassing and soliciting to children!

I'm fairly certain I have found the info on the camp and will be calling in the morning to give them a piece of my mind. It's associated with a local church so I will also be calling the minister and probably reporting the incident to the local police just so they are aware of the situation. Is there anything else I should do? I'm wondering if I should have just called the police when it happened, but I didn't think about it until later.

The kids have all been reminded about how they should have handled the situation, but they are still young (oldest hasn't yet started second grade) and were in the yard. Litarally standing on the doorstep...

[ha98ed14]

I guess I am confused about what you are angry about.

Are you mad that strangers approached your children and started talking to them on your property when you were not present OR are you angry that religious people solicited your children? Or maybe you are angry about both.

If it is mainly that they came on your property and talked to your kids without their parents there, then I think the best thing to do is to talk, talk, talk to the kids about NOT talking to people we do not know WITHOUT mom or dad there. The reality is that people are going to come in your yard, up your driveway and to your door. It is a given. If you do not want them to, maybe you should fence the front (if your development/ town allows it) or put up a big "No Soliciting" sign to deter people. But in general, you can't really avoid people comiong to your house, so teaching the kids how you want them to handle it, i.e. come get mom, is the only defense.

Are you calling the church because they solicited you at all or because they talked to your kids without you (as the parent) present? I don't think you will ever stop religious solicitation. Some may be deterred by a sign, but they will always be there. If you are going to call the church, I would make the point clear that these folks talked to your children and invited them to a kid event without checking with their parents first, which is poor form at least and could be construed as trying to bait or lure a kid into a situation without their parents knowledge at worst. It may be worth making this point to their pastor/ rector.

Personally, I think calling the police is going overboard, unless they were trying to get your DC into the church van or something. Chances are they were enthusiastic stoops who did not think about how their actions could be viewed.

[hbridge]

Thank you for your reply. I guess I need to be talked down from my soap box a little.

I'm angry that with 6 parents in the yard, they stopped children that were headed into the house and didn't just come and find one of us. They obviously had started their speel with the kids who say that they pointed to where we were.

That and my heart breaks for these kids (ages 4to7) who looked liked they were terrified and didn't know what to do. I think the kids felt trapped since they couldn't get to us without getting past these people! Finally, this episode has lost my children all freedom in their own yard! No longer will they be able to be out of our sight for even a second...

The religious part is not an issue at all. This is one of the bigger, older churches in town. I'm guessing that the camp is being run by someone else since I can't imagine the church would okay door to door tactics.

[Wife_and_mommy]

I didn't think churches did the dtd anymore either. Apparently, a small church my DD went to VBS at last month was bringing busloads of children each morning. I don't know what their method was but what you described would freak me out.

I would call the church and let them know their method wasn't the safest one to be using in the times we live. I take these situations on a one by one basis and wouldn't have been concerned but if your kids were afraid and not able to fend for themselves, that's not okay.

I sent someone my DD didn't know to pick her up from class yesterday at church. She did seem unsettled when brought to me. When I saw her face it occurred to me that it wasn't smart of me to do but it was a learning experience.

[kristenk]

I don't really see the harm in it, but maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation.

Is it possible that they thought that the adults who were around the yard would be following the kids into the house so if they stayed in the front, the adults would be there momentarily? Or, maybe they thought going into your side/back yard would be considered trespassing? Maybe they thought there would be dogs? I don't know.

I don't know what they were saying to the kids, but I can see having a brochure in hand, a child looking to see what the brochure is, and then handing the child a brochure. They could have been saying other things to the children, but I'm imagining that they were telling the kids that they were letting people know about a bible camp for kids, what the camp did, etc.

I'm sure it was a frightening experience for you to have people you didn't know talking to your kids, but I don't think it's worth a call to the police.

[hbridge]

Okay, I'm calmer now. I reread what I wrote originally and I'm still really upset and concerned, but somewhat calmer. I'm really sad for this society and angry at myself for letting the kids go up to the house (where they have to go 15 feet out of our sight) without someone walking there with them.

Living in a really small isolated neighborhood shouldn't be as scary as it is. We don't even get kids trick-or-treating, but we get solicitors that are trying to sell things to kids.

[Ceepa]

I understand you were scared but maybe that's a signal for you to run through scenarios and practice with the kids about what to do in the event of a stranger approaching them without an adult around

[egoldber]

Well if it were me, I would be absolutely LIVID at a religious institution going to door to door soliciting participation in one of their events. I would be even MORE livid about one approaching and talking to a child and not an adult. I don't think your original response was out of line at all. It is not my CHILD's responsibility to know to not talk to a solicitor.

[ellies mom]

I don't know what they were saying to the kids, but I can see having a brochure in hand, a child looking to see what the brochure is, and then handing the child a brochure. They could have been saying other things to the children, but I'm imagining that they were telling the kids that they were letting people know about a bible camp for kids, what the camp did, etc.

This would bother me because I have no intention of sending my children to VBS. And I'd be pissed as anything to have someone I don't know from a church I don't go to telling my kids about a camp they won't be attending. They can talk to me about the camp and I will decide whether I want to send my kids and then I'll talk to my kids. I don't want to be the bad guy if my kid got all excited about the idea.

[kijip]

I would be even MORE livid about one approaching and talking to a child and not an adult.

Logic and common sense dictate that they would approach an adult. I don't much appriciate dtd religious solicitations, and going to the kids is ...weird.