Our latest addition arrived early Thursday morning at 1am. My water broke earlier in the day, but it was a slow trickle at first, so I wasn't entirely sure that was what it was, and I wanted to wait and see if anything would happen on its own. Finally, around 4pm we called my OB and headed in to his office. He confirmed I had ruptured, but even though I had supposedly been 2-3cm/60% effaced the week before, he now said I was long and closed and he could not be sure the head was down. He sent me down to L&D, and an u/s showed the head was down but the baby was not at all engaged in my pelvis. Around 7pm, I had cervidil inserted to ripen my cervix. I had this with Carter, and it immediately put me into labor and had to be removed an hour later because it was causing hyperstimulation (contractions literally on top of each other). Sure enough, intense contractions started within about 15 minutes, and by 8:30, they came back to remove it as the baby was starting to have slight dips in its heart rate. By that point, I was 2cm and 50% effaced, which they felt was huge progress, but what I thought I had been weeks ago, so I wasn't as impressed. I had always intended to get an epidural, (I have with the other 4) but I was concerned as I knew I was on a time clock since my water had been broken for over 12 hours by now, and my OB tends to be a bit cut-happy (i.e. c-section). So I decided to hold out for as long as I could, as they do tend to slow my labors down. My contractions continued to come every 1-2 minutes, so they started some IV fluids to see if they could space them out a bit. Luckily they were short but they were incredibly intense and I was starting to struggle with my breathing as I barely had time to catch my breath in between each one. I used the labor ball for a bit, but they could not keep the baby on the monitor and I was getting increasingly frustrated with it (and my inefficient labor nurse) and I kept ripping it off. The PA came in a bargained with me - she told me I could get in the tub (something they had previously said I could not do because I was ruptured) if I would first lay in bed for 15-20 minutes so they could get a good strip on the baby. About 45 minutes later, my OB checked me again and I was almost 4cm. He offered the epidural again, but I still wanted to try the tub. Oh my goodness, it was incredible! It initially spaced out my contractions. For the first 20 minutes I only had 2 or 3. Then they picked back up again and were back to every 1-3 minutes. I spent about an hour or so in there but started getting too hot so I got out. BIG MISTAKE!!! What was barely tolerable in the tub became increasingly unbearable. It was about 11pm and I decided I had enough and wanted my epidural. Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist had just started another patient's so they offered me something through the IV which I refused. I figured it would take about 45min to an hour and I thought I could handle it. (Some women do this for HOURS, right?!?!). I had only progressed to about 5cm and the baby was still at -2 station (pretty high in my pelvis). My nurse wanted me to lay in bed on my left side because she thought the baby needed to turn into a better position so she could descend into my pelvis. My contractions were still coming one right after another and it was all I could do to stay calm, let alone try and breathe through them. I think I nearly broke my husband's fingers with my squeezing. I started to get extremely nauseous and was nearly hyperventilating. I could not catch my breath after one ended before the next one started, and I knew I was quickly losing control. I was crying and begging someone to do something. I felt like I was one step away from being one of "those" women who are jumping on the bed, swearing at everyone. The PA came and checked me again, both of us thinking (hoping and praying) I was nearing transition, but I was still barely 6cm and the baby was still high. My husband (an anesthesiologist himself who felt so helpless that he could do nothing to help me) encouraged me to take something through my IV because he was worried I would not be able to sit still for the epidural. I kept thinking the anesthesiologist should be there any minute, but it took almost 2 hours from the time I asked for it until he got there. I finally agreed to what I thought would be a half dose of stadol, but turned out to be nubain and phenergan. That stuff is AWFUL!! My (increasingly unhelpful, borderline incompetent) labor nurse took over 25 minutes to get the medicine, and then injected it into my IV in the furthest possible place just as I was sitting up to get my epidural. The epi had to be inserted twice as the first time it apparently was hitting a nerve root and kept causing shooting sensations up my back and down my leg. By the time he finished, the IV meds were taking effect and I was completely snowed. I felt like I was having an out of body experience and had absolutely no control over anything. The epi was one-sided (mine usually are) so I still felt most of the pain on my right, but my left was numb. My brain was numb too. My OB came in and checked me and found I was completely dilated with the head "right there." It was just after 1am, 6 hours after the cervidil was placed. I had no urge to push and I was so out of it mentally that I was hoping to wait a bit and let some of the IV meds wear off, but my OB was on call for 24 hours starting at 7am and I think he wanted to get home and get some sleep, so he encouraged me to try. I pushed twice and he told me the head was out. He never put up the stirrups, just lowered the bottom portion of the bed a bit and he had me put one of my legs on his hip and the PA held the other. He suctioned the mouth and I delivered the rest of my baby with one more push. He laid her on the bed and I thought I heard my husband say it was another girl (we did not know the sex) but I was so out of it so I wasn't exactly sure. I asked what it was, and DH repeated it was another girl and they put her on my chest. I really felt as if I was floating above myself watching all of it happen with no real involvement on my part. The nursery nurses took her away to clean her up and we waited (and waited) for about 45 minutes for my placenta to deliver. Afterwards, I was pretty surprised that he did not "help" it out given his hurry, but I was happy that he was patient. They gave me my daughter back right after the placenta delivered, but I was so snowed and shaky that I could not even hold her myself, let alone try to nurse her. I asked about 5 times if it was ok to breastfeed with the meds I was given and they assured me it was. I tried for a few minutes, and she latched on right away, but we were both extremely sleepy and I was so terrified I would drop her so they took her to the nursery for her bath and said they would bring her back soon so I could try again. It took me until at least 6am before I felt even close to normal, and really I was pretty groggy all the next day. I am still a bit saddened by the entire experience. Both DH and I are in health care and we were both upset that they did not tell us what I was getting. Having no experience with stadol, I am not sure it would be any different, but I hated the feeling the meds gave me, and I really hated that I felt so dissociated from my actual delivery. But, I also know that I was not dilating, most likely because I could not relax enough to work with the contractions and my body, so not getting ANYTHING would not have been an option. I just wish I had had the insight to refuse the IV meds since the anesthesiologist was already there. All in all though, it WAS only 6 hours start to finish, and I do have another beautiful (albeit tiny) girl to show for my efforts.
SO, (if you have stuck around) introducing
HAILEY ELIZABETH NEUMANN
5lbs 15oz, 19 1/2in long
We came home Friday, and are slowly adapting to the crazy life as parents of 5 kids 5 and under. Her big brother and sisters are loving Hailey to death, and are constantly fighting over who gets to hold her. Lexie thinks she is HER baby, and so far seems to be accepting her with no jealousy. We'll see how long that lasts. Carter wants me to pump so he can give her a bottle (I think he remembers helping bottle feed Natalie). So far, she is nursing great, but since she was a few weeks early and so small, she is pretty jaundiced. We were under the cutoff to be discharged, so we came home without any therapy. We saw our pedi yesterday afternoon after we left the hospital, and again this am. Her yellowness seems to be stabilizing, so we will watch her over the next few days and pray it doesn't get worse. Lexie had similar issues, but even though her levels kept rising, they were slow enough to not require therapy, so hopefully Hailey will follow the same pattern. If not, a little blue-light therapy never hurt anyone!
Anyways.....I'll try to post some pics in the next post, so I don't lose this one. (I always have trouble with attachments).
Kudos to all you mamas who have delivered without any meds. If there is a next time, I will surely be getting my epi as soon as I can. I am just not cut out for this!
~J