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  1. #1
    KBecks is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default Do your sibling children have their own toys or is everything communal?

    Right now nearly everything we own is shared by the boys. It was all Alek's first, and John's b-day gifts get shared too. It's all kind of communal.

    But I'm wondering if or when it gets to community toys + some things that are just each their own. How have you handled this among your kids?
    Karen, mom to three beautiful boys, 10/2004, 7/2006 and 10/2008!
    trying to spend less time online, doh!


    *I regret choosing circumcision for my sons.*
    Our new arrival is NOT circed.

  2. #2
    o_mom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Most everything is communal, but we are starting to have some things that belong to each one. Loveys are never shared. Right after birthdays and holidays there is kind of a 'honeymoon' period where things are not shared as much, but we try to move them into the common pool pretty quickly.

    We have a few ongoing non-shared toys. Most of the time it is based on age appropriate stuff. DS1 has started getting things that have too many small parts or are too breakable for DS2 and DS3, so he can keep those to himself. Legos, for example, are only for DS1. DS2 got a scooter for his birthday that has remained 'his'. He gets first choice on riding it, but if he isn't riding it he is expected to share and wait until the other person is done to claim it again. Hard to explain that one, but I do think that having a few things that they own is starting to be important.
    Mama to three boys ('03, '05, '07)

  3. #3
    hillview's Avatar
    hillview is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Loveys are not shared (not even touched unless permission is granted -- DS #1 is anti slobber!). DS #2 is too young for some toys so they are currently DS #1's exclusively (choking hazards). Some toys DS #1 wants to play with without DS #2 getting involved (legos/magnatiles) these he plays with in a non-DS #2 area. The rest of the time legos/magnatiles are community property. The rest are community property. The plan is community property overall. Each child *COULD* have special toys I imagine but in general shared. At some point they will have some individual things I imagine.

    Does that make ANY sense??
    /hillary
    DS #1 Summer 05
    DS #2 Summer 07

  4. #4
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    Just had this talk with DD!! She thinks everything is hers - even the "backyard park" (swingset). The other day DS was trying to get out the door to the backyard and DD started FREAKING OUT. I finally got her tell me what was wrong : "It's MY backyard park!" I sat right down on the kitchen floor and we had a talk. Almost everything in this house is shared. You have a few things that are just yours : pink bear, Curious George doll, beads. DS has a few things just his: blanket, pacifiers. Everything else we share, or it is mine and I am throwing it out! She still doesn't like to share but she hasn't freaked out about the backyard again. We are constantly reminding her to share, and not to knock her brother over. It's hard.
    Deb

    Mama to:
    Maya 2/12/05
    Max 4/24/07

  5. #5
    maestramommy's Avatar
    maestramommy is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    All the toys are communal, and most of the books. But some books are just for Dora because they are paper. They go on a higher shelf out of Arwyn's reach, but we are constantly working on Dora to put her books away so they don't get torn or chewed.
    Melinda
    Mommy to
    The Gift 10/01/05
    Elfgirl 5/25/07
    Sparky 6/27/09

    "Sunset to Twilight, Our Family's Journey with Alzheimer's." http://maestramommi.blogspot.com/




  6. #6
    LarsMal is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Even though they get their own gifts for b-day and holidays, everything pretty much becomes communal. Having one of each, I really want it to be that way. I don't want either one of them thinking something is a "boy" toy or a "girl" toy. They definitely have their "it's mine" moments, but that's usually just because they are actually touching or playing with it.

    Things that are meant to be for one or the other (DS's guitar for example) is kept in his bedroom and only brought out when he actually wants to play with it. Otherwise, everything is kept in the playroom and is fair game!

  7. #7
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    Pretty much communal.
    ~~AngelaS~~
    Mommy to 3 girls: A, G and M. (15, 11 and 8.5)

    The education of all children, from the moment that they can get along without a mother's care, shall be in state institutions at state expense.
    – Karl Marx, "The Communist Manifesto"

  8. #8
    willow33's Avatar
    willow33 is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    They share everything, except loveys.
    ~H~

    Mom to 3 sweet kids
    2003 ~ 2005 ~ 2009

  9. #9
    egoldber's Avatar
    egoldber is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Loveys are not shared.

    Sarah has some special things that are too nice for Amy to play with. For example, she got an AG Kit doll for her birthday and Kit basically lives in Sarah's room or else Amy would destroy her. Anything very nice stays in Sarah's room or only comes out when Amy is asleep or gets played with somewhere that Amy cannot get to.

    Other than those few things, most things are communal.
    Beth, mom to older DD (8/01) and younger DD (10/06) and always missing Leah (4/22 - 5/1/05)

  10. #10
    s7714 is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    Everything but loveys are shared. Although we do maintain that if a toy or book is in someone's room, you're not allowed to take it or play with it until you've asked that person's permission. (And likewise, if it was in your room but you really weren't reading or playing with it, you are strongly encouraged to give it to the asking sibling.)
    Jen

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