God and the number of kids you have... ???

[Babywhite]

I am really struggling with this problem and would like some input from my BBB friends...

I posted a few days ago about using Clomid when TTC.

I have PCOS, and I’m taking glucophage to help me ovulate. It worked well when TTC DD #1, but I’m not having any luck this time. Due to our age, Dh only wants to try for a few more months (approx. 6).

I feel confused about the whole Clomid and “further stuff”…

As a Christian, I feel that God already knows how many children we are supposed to have… so…

When you believe this way…how far do you go to have another child. Do I just continue taking the glucophage and praying about it – and if I don’t get pregnant, believe that God didn’t mean for us to have another child or do I do “more stuff” like Clomid, etc. and then if I don't get pregnant know that it wasn't meant to be...

I know that if I were sick, I would try any reasonable “medical technique(s)” to try to get better – believing that it would only work if God meant for it too -- so do I do the same thing here?

I apologize for rambling in this post, but I really just typed as if I’m talking to you guys vs. worrying about sentence structure, etc. this time.

Your thoughts/ opinions would be appreciated…

[Tondi G]

I feel that you should try with whatever means you can afford and can handle emotionally. If Clomid is the next step, take it and pray that it is what you need to get pregnant. If that doesn't do the trick then maybe take a step back and decide if you want to go further or let it go and have faith that you have what you were intended to have as far as children go. I don't know how you feel about it but adoption is always an option too.

I wish you luck and hope you are able to get pregnant with as little intervention possible and that you have a healthy pregnancy!

[maestramommy]

Well, in some ways I believe that God knows how many children we COULD have, maybe God knows how many we will have. There's still so much mystery about how much I think God really knows, even though I believe God is all knowing. As far as TTC, I really don't know how far I would go. I might go as far as Clomid, and maybe even one round of IVF, if we could afford it. After that, I'd either consider adoption or just accept things the way they are. I get nervous about the thought of messing with my body too much to "force" out a child. That's probably not a good way to word it, but I hope you understand what I mean.

I'm sorry you have having this difficulty

[traciann]

I am a christian, and I don't have an issue with any medical intervention to have a child. I think that if you are not meant to have another child then it won't work. At least you can feel that you did everything you can do.

I would also continue praying about the situation and ask for God's direction.

[AuGoldie]

Hugs to you as you deal with this difficult issue. As a Christian I think that the answer is probably different for everyone. You and your husband should pray about the situation and seek answers in His word. Remember that in the bible it says nothing is illegal for us but not all things are beneficial either. In your private time with the Lord he will reveal to you what he has planned for your family. I don't believe there is anything inherently wrong with infertility treatments, though. I think ultimately God wants to be glorified in every part of our lives, God can work with or without Clomid so don't stress over it. Just keep Him in the center of your quest.
God Bless,
Jackie

[merianne16]

I think God knows how many children we will have but I think that God's grace and blessings also come after we do all that we can do ourselves. Having said that, I think that "all we can do" is a very personal decision. For us, that meant several months of clomid and then eventually IVF to conceive DS. We're TTC DC#2 now and I'm fine with doing another IVF if we need to. However, after that we feel like that's all we could emotionally/physically/financially handle. We wouldn't do any more medical treatments to conceive. If after doing those things we're not meant to have baby #2 or #3 we're at peace with that.

I hope that makes sense! Best wishes and baby dust to you........

[WatchingThemGrow]

You've gotten some REALLY good feedback already, and I'm sorry you're going through this. Just today a friend was sharing in bible study about her struggles to have DC. She has a 3 yo and finally got him on the "last round" of Clomid they were going to do. Then, she talked about how during the midst of her 2 m/c (while I was pg w/DS), she knew God was still sovereign and that she was still supposed to be praising His name always. I shared that she really did seem keep her eyes and her thoughts focused on Him during all of those events. She shared all this while she was sitting there nursing her healthy 1 mo. old. Not really an answer for you, but a real life example to consider.

Also, the same question you ask about "how far do you go" can apply to SO many things. For me, it was nursing. With each DC, I've had supply issues, they've had sucking issues, tongue issues, etc. I was pretty determined to give it my best, and God kept giving me little glimmers of hope or information that would help me make it until the next week, then the next, then the next. Other said there is no way they would've done all the LC visits, the feeding specialist, the hours of pumping, tracking, dietary changes, supplementing, weighing, and domperidone that I did just to try to keep the nursing relationship alive. He has built us all differently, so just as PPs have said, it really is how far you and DH feel like you can go. I think it is important to pray about it together, so that you stay on the same page and will be led to make decisions together, as needed. If one party wants to be done and the other doesn't, it doesn't seem like it would be harmonious. Well, look at that, I can ramble too! Hope it makes sense to you.

[JoyNChrist]

I know that if I were sick, I would try any reasonable “medical technique(s)” to try to get better – believing that it would only work if God meant for it too -- so do I do the same thing here?

This is pretty much how I feel. I'm treating infertility like an illness, and I'll treat it in any way that I can (at least to the point where it becomes physically or financially destructive).

I'm a Christian, and I'm dealing with secondary fertility issues (no problems at all conceiving, carrying, or delivering my DS, then four miscarriages since). I have always felt that God wants me to be happy, and that He knows more children will make me happy, so He will be okay with me doing whatever I can to have more children.

But the flip side of this is that I believe He will bless my efforts UNLESS they become the focus of my life. I have to keep believing that He is in control, that He is still sovereign and perfect and looking out for me even if I don't get the results I want. When I start making an idol out of the fertility issues (obsessing over it all the time, unable to focus on other things), or when I start becoming resentful, bitter, or overly angry, it will be time for me to step away from trying to conceive.

Hugs to you, mama. It's hard.

[Babywhite]

I can't thank all of you enough...

I stayed up late last night waiting to read some posts from you guys...

I have to admit, I felt better about the situation after reading your posts...it confirmed what I really already knew in my heart.

Thanks so much, and I'll keep you posted.

Babywhite