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  1. #1
    elektra's Avatar
    elektra is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default When will I need the most help with 2?

    I have had a few conversations with DD's nanny about what would work best for all of us after DS arrives in May but I'm not sure what to really expect.
    Here is my plan-
    -I will take 3 months maternity leave starting May 1. I will give the nanny the week or so off until I deliver (May 11 due date but I think I will deliver earlier), maybe having her work a few days if I need to do last minute errands.

    -DH will take a week off from work after baby is born to help with both baby and DD.

    -When DH goes back to work, have nanny come back for about 3-4 weeks to help with baby and DD. (Basically have her work until we go on vacation on June 21)

    -Then I was thinking of giving her the rest of the summer off to spend with her family, including her own 2 sons that are 13 and 15. Well not the whole summer but at least until I go back to work in early August.

    My thinking is that I will need the most help in the very beginning, especially with caring for DD actually, as the baby will need alot of my time but it will most be the basics like feeding, diapering. I will also be the most sleep deprived at that point and if I could sneak a nap in here or there with the nanny caring for DD, that just sounds fabulous.
    I am also considering getting DD into preschool for 2 or so mornings a week starting in the fall.
    Also, I love our nanny and she would be willing to help with baby, DD, anything.
    I am also trying to balance the $ factor for both nanny and myself. Meaning that I will only be on partial pay at that point and only want her for the minimum I will need to try and save money. I also want to make sure that she can make the $ she needs too.

    Am I on the right track?
    DD
    DS

  2. #2
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    I think you are.

    I am a SAHM. DH stayed home for about 1 week for each kid. My mom took the 3rd week of DS2's life off and took DD and DS1 for 2 nights, which was wonderful! Other than that, I had no help and no school for DS1, since it was summer.

    I did ask friends to come over a couple times in August, so when DS2 was a month or so, for playdates for the kids. It helped me because my friends did the work and I just relaxed.

    Summer is nice. You can go to the park and let your older one play and not worry about germs for the baby. You can get out of the house and do most things fairly easily. I didn't find it too difficult to get out and about with 2 or 3 until winter hit us!
    Kris

  3. #3
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I guess I'm looking at this from another perspective. Do you pay the nanny for any of the time she has off? Does she have a second source of income? The reason I ask is because you've mentioned that you'd like to give her a good chunk of the summer off. Does she need income during that time? If so, you may lose her to another family.

    When we were looking to go part-time with our nanny, whom we also love, she said she couldn't do part time because she needs a full time job to pay her bills. We ended up finding another family wanting to do a nanny-share the other time she isn't with us. That has worked well for everyone.

    As far as getting prepared, it sounds like you are right on track. Having someone help with your DD for a few hours of the day (or even all day so you can rest) while you take care of the baby is a good idea. OR have the nanny take care of the baby some hours of the day while you are out spending some one-on-one time with DD is a good idea too, so sounds like you've thought that part through well.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  4. #4
    Momof3Labs is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I'd suggest keeping the nanny around the week before your due date - gives you time to rest plus an extra pair of hands should baby come early. Especially if she's willing to help around the house, too - laundry, change bed linens, light cleaning, etc.

    And I also think that you need to know whether she's counting on the income and willing to take that much time off without pay. In our case, we will keep our nanny on her regular hours (may ask her to flip-flop a few days if convenient for her but total hours would not go down) while I'm on maternity leave so that she continues to receive her income. Yes, it will mean a pinch on the budget, but we can't afford to lose her either!!
    Single mom to

    DS ("twice exceptional") - September 2002
    DS - February 2006
    DD - July 2009
    DD - July 2009

  5. #5
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    I had to keep my nanny while I was on maternity leave with DS1 because otherwise she would have needed to find something else. But it worked great because I could stay home with the baby and nap and she would take my daughter to the park and feed her lunch. And if the baby was sleeping I could run out and do a quick errand. You will love having an extra set of hand around.
    DD 10/2005
    DS 5/2007
    DS 1/2009

  6. #6
    elektra's Avatar
    elektra is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Just wanted to check in on this thread and thank everyone.
    I think I will make sure that she really wants the time off during the summer since I wouldn't be paying her. Our current arrangement is where she basically gets paid for hours worked. There have been a few exceptions though. For instance, over Christmas I did give her a paid week and then I also gave her a paid week during last summer too. We could have a more exact system probably but it seems to be working out ok.
    Her family is very important to her though, and if a situation arises where she could either spend time with her boys or work an extra day for me, she will choose her boys. I totally respect that and I always try to accomodate any type of event that she wants to go to for her boys (they are in junior high and high school). So I actually think she will love to have the time off for them. I think she would rather come watch DD here and there for extra $ if she needs it vs. getting another job. HOWEVER, I want to make sure that she understands I would love to have her more part time while I am on leave if that is in fact what she prefers or if it means I might lose her.
    DD
    DS

  7. #7
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by elektra View Post
    Just wanted to check in on this thread and thank everyone.
    I think I will make sure that she really wants the time off during the summer since I wouldn't be paying her. Our current arrangement is where she basically gets paid for hours worked. There have been a few exceptions though. For instance, over Christmas I did give her a paid week and then I also gave her a paid week during last summer too. We could have a more exact system probably but it seems to be working out ok.
    Her family is very important to her though, and if a situation arises where she could either spend time with her boys or work an extra day for me, she will choose her boys. I totally respect that and I always try to accomodate any type of event that she wants to go to for her boys (they are in junior high and high school). So I actually think she will love to have the time off for them. I think she would rather come watch DD here and there for extra $ if she needs it vs. getting another job. HOWEVER, I want to make sure that she understands I would love to have her more part time while I am on leave if that is in fact what she prefers or if it means I might lose her.
    Maybe you could do like we did and share her with another family who needs a nanny part time. We have ours for 3 days per week and another family has her for 1 day. She takes Fridays off to run errands, etc. I think we found the other family on CraigsList or something like that.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

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