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  1. #1
    scoop22 is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default crying issues -- need suggestions

    ds has been going to the same babysitter for 3 years. he had a crying issue the first week back after summer break (i am a teacher). i thought this was normal. just recently he has started crying again. he is ok getting in the car, he is ok walking into the house, it is once we are in there and hang our coats up he cries. i have tried being nice. i have tried walking away (BOO HOO for me) i am out of strength here. he doesn't like one boy there. (the grandson. imagine that) we have tried talking to him about it. we have tried ignoring the situation. we are switching him to a 5 day preschool next year so we just have 25 more drop offs this year. how do i survive? any other suggestions for talking to him? the hard part is the babysitter telling me he is a big boy and he doesn't need to cry. i didn't like her comment. i would pull him now but i don't know that i want to start again to only switch again. i hope that makes sense. i just want my little boy to smile.. thanks for listening... it is a sad mommy week
    big brother 7/22/05

    little brother 4/4/08

  2. #2
    hillview's Avatar
    hillview is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Default

    We had this issue with DS #1 who is about a month older than your DS. It has started to get better. He cried every day for long jags at preschool. So first of all GIANT hugs. It is so upsetting when DC cries!

    Some things that helped us -- you may be doing all of these already.
    1) Talking up what a great time he will have there -- special projects
    2) Bring a lovey with him (DS brings his bunny)
    3) Pack something special for him to have once you leave -- cookie? sticker?
    4) Talk to him NOT in the moment about what is bothering him. Talk about his feelings. For us with DS we talked in his bed at night about preschool. What he liked and didn't. What we could think about or do to make it better.
    5) Get the sitter to have a specific thing to take him to show. A special book or something to immediately let him focus on something fun there.
    6) Try to make the bye byes as short as possible but not sneak away.

    Also, I'd talk to the sitter about the big boy/no crying comment. My babysitter used to do that too, I told her it was something that might upset him and she stopped.

    /hillary
    DS #1 Summer 05
    DS #2 Summer 07

  3. #3
    egoldber's Avatar
    egoldber is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    I would definitely talk to the sitter about that comment. It really is not helpful.

    I wonder if the grandson is teasing him while he is there and it is being ignored because he is the grandson. I would definitely try to explore what is going on in a non-emotional moment.
    Beth, mom to older DD (8/01) and younger DD (10/06) and always missing Leah (4/22 - 5/1/05)

  4. #4
    scoop22 is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default

    thank you for your replies. i think i might try the giving him something while i leave attempt. i always pack him a special snack that he gets to eat when i pick him up. he does talk about the grandson being mean. the grandson is there only 2 days that we are there but ds never knows when this is going to be. we have discussed the grandson issue SEVERAL TIMES. she does say they ahve fun while they are playing which i do believe ds likes everyone but will say he is mean and he doesn't want to play with him. i just want to stay home. thanks again for your support!
    big brother 7/22/05

    little brother 4/4/08

  5. #5
    DrSally's Avatar
    DrSally is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I don't like the babysitter's comment either. I would talk to her about it to find if there's anything specific that's bothering him. It may just be the separation, but it's worth looking into.
    Sally

    My Joyful DS
    My Lovely DD

    Please excuse the typos. Getting used to a virtual keyboard

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