Ugh, so embarrassed and sad, yet also ANNOYED...

[VClute]

So, DS's ABA (autism) therapist recommended that I find Dixon a typical playmate with whom she could do some sessions to teach him how to play. This was a tall order; Dixon's only "friends," are from school and he attends an early intervention program where all the children have issues. I have a friend who offered her typical son, but he's one of those kids who just doesn't have the patience to handle a kid who can't interact to his level.

Toward the end of the summer, I happened to meet another mom in the neighborhood. Her son is Dixon's age and the two boys seemed to hit it off the one time they saw eachother. Her son was very patient and happy to do whatever DS indicated he wanted to do. And he didn't seem to mind that DS didn't answer his questions or talk much. He was perfect!

I struggled with getting the courage to ask this practical stranger if I could borrow her normal son to hep with DS's therapy. Every time I picked up the phone, I chickened out. I finally worked up the nerve and we made a date. I arranged for the therapist to come and I was patting myself on the back for getting over my hangups and getting what my son needed arranged for him.

But she called the day of and cancelled. She didn't even give any kind of excuse, just something about "We need some down time today." Agh! I had already told DS that the other boy would be coming over to play, not that he seemed to know what I was saying, but still! And I really feel like a TOOL - Like *I* got stood up, too!

I ran into her a couple of days after that and she said we could reschedule, and I was maybe a little too enthusiastic, telling her to call me and let me know what day worked best. "We can't wait to hear from you!" That was a week ago. She hasn't called.

This has brought up all kinds of things that I thought I was kind of over. I'm so sad for DS that he doesn't have any friends. I'm so sad for myself that I don't have any friends locally that I can count on to help with this kind of thing! I'm noticing more and more how different DS is, and what a struggle we face as he reaches school age.

And I'm realizing that I am so ALONE in this! DH isn't involved in the child-rearing, and doesn't care to be. When he's home, he's watching tv and letting DS slip farther and farther into his own world. I'm the one that has to be constantly engaged in Miracle Worker-esque work and therapy and more work... sigh...

The kicker? I got an email from the ABA therapist. She's quitting.

[buddyleebaby]

I couldn't read and not post.
Huge . Your son is so lucky his mama is there to support him.
I hope you get the support *you* need soon.

[DietCokeLover]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I hate that you feel so alone. Are there any support groups in your area for families with autism?

Maybe the other mom is just caught up in her own world, not meaning to not call. I think I'd give it one more try.

Hugs to you!

[MamaMolly]

Big, big What a crummy series of events to have happen all at once. I'm so sorry the other mom flaked. I sincerely hoped she is involved in her world and isn't being purposefully ugly.

And it sounds like you really, really need some support from people who really *get* it. I think even an online group would be a great start. Is there anything in your area? Can DS's therapist recommend anything before she leaves?

I'd also recommend encouraging DH to get some counseling to deal with his feelings about DS. This is not a diss on single parents at all, but if both parents are physically there, then it is a team sport. Especially with a special needs child.

[TwinFoxes]

I wish I knew someone in your area, but I just don't. Maybe some other mommas on this board are in your area and can help out. Your post tore at my heart. I wish I could reach through cyber space and give you the big pat on your back you need. You are doing so well by your son. Don't let the other mom bother you. She probably doesn't understand how important this is.

I hope you find another therapist soon. Maybe they will have another suggestion for teaching DS how to play. P&PT coming your way!

[AshleyAnn]

Hugs! That sucks about the 'friend' - hopefully mom will come around and you'll get another appointment. I also hope that you can get a new therapist ASAP. Sounds like its time to tell your husband that these are his kids too and remind him you're not the only parent.

[kdeunc]

Amy,
I am sorry that you are having some struggles. You may want to contact the Cumberland Co. Partnership for Children. They are the local Smart Start affiliate in Fayetteville(I think that is where you are located). They may have some programs that would offer help or at least steer you in the direction of some programs/support groups. I think their web address is www.ccpfc.org. Hope that helps.

[miki]

I'm sorry about your situation. Have you heard of this group that is local to you? http://www.fayettevillemommies.com/ I belong to the one in my area and use the online forums. I find it a helpful resource.

[carolinamama]

So sorry everything went wrong this week. Too bad you aren't in the triangle area, I'd lend you my DS.

Hope things get better for your DS and especially you. Sounds like you are a fabulous mommy and your DS is fortunate to have you advocating for him. Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. Easier said than done, huh?

[kijip]

I am so sorry Amy! I hate flakes like that. Either say yes and come or say no.

I hope you are able to get a great new ABA person and that you can connect with more local mommies.