How do you deal with 2yo twins when they are BOTH being naughty?

[gatorsmom]

We are living through the terrible twos. Sisi is ok but Greenbean is a BEAR! He's been the hardest of all my kids so far. When he's mad at me he stays mad for a half hour and throws things at me! Big heavy things! Today he threw a plastic stepstool at me!!!! I'm not even sure how he lifted it. I"m starting to think he's possessed by a demon. I've started trying time-outs with him and he's not a big fan. But the problem is, when I"m sitting with Greenbean in a time-out, what do I do with Sisi when she starts eating crayons or trying to dance on the table or get into the pantry, etc.? I have to get up and stop her, I can't let it go, but do I have to drag Greenbean around with me then? What if they both need a time-out at the same time?

This is becoming a problem. Any advice?

[Naranjadia]

ugh, I hear you. I wish someone would write a good book on discipline and twins. It's always an appendix or an aside in the books I've read.

We do our time-outs a little differently. They walk to their room and we shut the door for two minutes. They have books and toys in there that they can play with. We wound up with this system only because our one story house doesn't have a lot of options for low traffic areas, like staircases. But it does allow me to keep tabs on the twin not in time-out. And if that twin earns a time out, they get in line for their two minutes. Although once one is in time-out, the other is usually deterred.

I did try to do time-outs without resorting to sending them to their room, but I couldn't figure out, in the case of aggression, how to console the offended and monitor the time-out the offender.

[twowhat?]

Ugh so it only gets worse? My 13-month-olds are starting to fight tooth and nail! A couple days ago they were fighting over something and Baby A bit Baby B on the arm AND hit her in the head! Argh!!! I would also love to hear about time-out strategies!

[gatorsmom]

ugh, I hear you. I wish someone would write a good book on discipline and twins. It's always an appendix or an aside in the books I've read.

We do our time-outs a little differently. They walk to their room and we shut the door for two minutes. They have books and toys in there that they can play with. We wound up with this system only because our one story house doesn't have a lot of options for low traffic areas, like staircases. But it does allow me to keep tabs on the twin not in time-out. And if that twin earns a time out, they get in line for their two minutes. Although once one is in time-out, the other is usually deterred.

I did try to do time-outs without resorting to sending them to their room, but I couldn't figure out, in the case of aggression, how to console the offended and monitor the time-out the offender.

I've thought about putting the offender (nearly always Greenbean) in a packnplay for his time out BUT the packnplays are where they sleep when we travel. So, they like their packnplays and I really don't want them to start associating the pnp with punishment, kwim?

ETA: if I put Greenbean in his room alone for a timeout, he would tear it up completely. Seriously, i"ve given birth to the AntiChrist. And his angelic sister.

[Momof3Labs]

Can you, say, gate off a section of hallway where he can't do much damage on a time-out? I'm envisioning two gates blocking off each end of a small section of hallway to contain him. Or gate him in a laundry or powder room so you can see him but still tend to Sisi?

[Melaine]

I really have no other suggestions. ITA that this is a topic for a book, because it is truly different from other discipline situations. We have done the pack 'n play TO (same issue, didn't want them to feel that travel bed was a place for punishment!), room time out, and mobile time out (chair, couch, step, wherever). When I put them in their room, they usually are so angry that they just yell and throw themselves on the bed, playing is not on their radar. I can totally see them losing it and throwing toys but they haven't as far as I know. Usually if they have totally lost it and are screaming or kicking or something I go with room time out, because I do not think that the rest of the family should be subjected to it. When they are BOTH doing that I usually put one on each step in our living room and I sit there to monitor.

I really wish I had better advice for you AND myself.

[Naranjadia]

I've thought about putting the offender (nearly always Greenbean) in a packnplay for his time out BUT the packnplays are where they sleep when we travel. So, they like their packnplays and I really don't want them to start associating the pnp with punishment, kwim?

ETA: if I put Greenbean in his room alone for a timeout, he would tear it up completely. Seriously, i"ve given birth to the AntiChrist. And his angelic sister.

I know exactly what you mean about the pnp and punishment - because when we still had the cribs up, there were some contexts where we needed to do a time out but either it was inconvenient to get everyone out of the room or we knew DS or DD was in a destructive mood. We really didn't want to do crib time outs for exactly the reason you mentioned - don't want a place of sleep associated with frustration, etc. We did wind up doing it a few times, but I wouldn't want that to be my main TO go to place.

We had the kids tear their rooms apart a few times - unless you literally mean tear apart. Although they didn't get too far in two minutes and had to help pick it up. (They do much worse during their "naps" in their toddler beds.)

[fivi2]

We did do the crib time outs, and it never caused any negative associations, but of course ymmv! (I was concerned, but it was our only choice).

I do think the time out needs to be somewhere contained, so if not crib, then room or gating off hall like pp suggested.

GL!